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Approved Character Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)

Ren

Inactive Member
Name: Hibiki Renko


General Information

Species: Yamataian
Gender: Female
Age: 18

Family / Creators: Father: Hibiki, Saji Mother: Hibiki Yumiko, Elder brother: Hibiki Jin, Younger brother: Hibiki Akira

Employer: Star Army of Yamatai
Occupation: Enlisted - Combat Arms
Rank: Recruit
Current Assignment: Training


Physical Characteristics

Height: 5 foot even
Weight: 52 kilograms
Measurements:N/A
Bra Size: C

Build and Skin Colour: Athletic but not overly muscled. Caramel brown skin, modded for protection from the sun during out door work.
Facial Features and Eye Colour: An oval face and slightly crooked nose. Eyes are slate grey. Large pouty lips.
Hair Colour and Style: Fire Engine red hair, cut short in a boy's cesar style.

Distinguishing Features: None as of yet.


Psychological Characteristics

Personality:
Respects authority and the need for it but trys to avoid being in charge whenever possible. Prefers the almost Zen state she aquires when doing manual labor. Loves to fight, but hates hurting people she knows and especially those she likes. Is more likly to kill you than kiss you, but if you can get under her skin that rough and tumble exterior melts away leaving a very cuddly kitty behind. Has dreamed of working in space since she was a child. Has never been one to mind her own appearance and is generally unkempt unless circumstances demand otherwise. Has a tendency to wear cutoff shorts and tanktops when in civilian clothing.
While she likes to do manual labor, she also likes her leisure time and has a tendency to procrastinate until the last second but still manages to do everything required of her within any alotted time. At home she found it difficult to gain any time to herself if she didn't manage her time and learn to do her job as quickly and efficently as posible so as to allow for as much leisure time as posible.



Likes: Fighting, shooting any type of firearm, red meat and fixing mechanical devices
Dislikes: Hurting friends, idiots, being in charge of anything, stress and poultry of all types.
Goals: Gain enough money through the military to retire and live comfortably on her own farm.


History

Born the middle of three children and the only girl in the family on Tatiana. She grew up with her brothers, doing what they did and playing how they played. This didn't always end well. On numerous occasions she found herself on the recieving end of injurys because of her smaller and weaker frame. Growing up on a farm there were many ways to get into trouble, the three siblings managed to find nearly every one. By the time she reached puberty she had discovered that she, while not as strong, was faster and more agile than her brothers. This was the only difference in her mind as of yet between them, but it became a major advantage in keeping from being injured. As she grew up it became apparent that her elder brother was going to be the one to inherit the farm so when she came of age she decided to enlist and make her own way in the world.


Skills

Fighting: Renko received hand-to-hand combat training, followed up with a rigorous training program. She is skilled and experienced in combat both in Yamatai-like conditions and in zero-gravity, with and without weapons. Weapons she is trained in include energy pistols, knives, and power armor. Street fighting skills acquired in her many fights with her brothers, she tends to be fast and dirty in hand to hand. Some skill with thrown explosives.

Maintenance and Repair : Most any internal combustion engin is easily repaired. Many more complex devices used in transportation and farm equipment is more dificult but not beyond her self taught skills.

Physical: Seven years of gymnastics, an equal ammount of track and feild in school make her agile and fast.

Communication: She is familiar with basic radio operation and procedures and can make transmissions to and receive transmissions from other characters through headsets, starships, power armor, and shuttles in both combat and non-combat conditions. Your character is fluent in English. She can speak and write both correctly and efficiently and can write reports, fill forms, issue orders under fire, etc.

Technology Operation: Being the only person with any skill at computers in her family she has had to keep the entire house up and running as well as the farm's network for nearly eight years. This has left her with the ability to operate any computer system that uses the Kessaku OS, which is used for all Star Army ships. She is proficient in entering and/or searching for information.

Mathematics: She received basic mathematics training, including algebra and trigonometry to aid in her computers maintenance and for general purposes.

Demolitions: Many obsticals are found in every day life on the farm, most of which can be overcome with a liberal aplication of high explosives. Up to and including anything required to clear land such as removing stumps, large rocks or small underground dwelling rodents. As well as the ocasional prank and or crater making just for fun.
 
Alrighty; lessee what we got.

1. At 5' even and 58 kilos ... she's a bit on the curvy side, or she's packing a hell of a lot of muscle. Might want to knock it down to 52 kilos.

2. Caramel brown skin? Exotic for a Yamataian, depending on where they're from.

3. No heterochromatic eyes. One color only please.

4. Large, pouty lips ... but no sex skill! WOO! It's OK then.

5. Yamataians cannot carry scars. If she's 18, she would have had to transfer from a Geshrin body anyway, so older scars would be completely gone.

Personality:

a. Errrr ... avoiding authority in the military is like trying to avoid water in the sea. You might want to clarify what that means. Do you mean she doesn't like to be in charge?

b. If she's generally unkept in the military, I'd hate to see what she's like at home.

c. Got a bit of a grammar thing going in that last sentence ... "Prefers to do as little as possible whenever possible, but manages to do everything required when it needs to be done, even if she only started the project at the last possible second."

About that though ... she enjoys manual labor, but she doesn't enjoy doing it to the max? Why is that?

History:

a. Backwater farming world ... Tatiana isn't backwater, necessarily, but I think it'll suit your character nicely. Read about it here.

Otherwise, the history's a little shallow; I'd want to know more about what they farmed and what the parents were like. But that's added work; you are not required to do that.

Skills:

a. On Fighting, go back to the original boilerplate text you replaced from the CCG. You did not mention her learning any form of martial art, and cannot use Krav Maga anyway.

b. Camping =/= survival. More in-depth on Survival, please, and drop Military from it unless you're going to justify it, too.

c. For Tech Operation ... return to the boilerplate text, please, and add what you have now onto that.

d. She did NOT learn to drive tanks while on a farm. Drop that part of it; if you want, specialize her occupation as a tank operator.

e. Demolitions: be more specific here.

Overall: Has some potential, but you need to work at it a bit more. You'll get there easy; don't sweat it.

This character is pending.
 
Some side comments:

3. No heterochromatic eyes. One color only please.
Well, being Yamataian means being able to choose one's appearance, so it's possible.

d. She did NOT learn to drive tanks while on a farm. Drop that part of it; if you want, specialize her occupation as a tank operator.
Well, I could see some old tanks being around if she was on Kennewes (that's in Neplelsia, though) or Yamatai, but Tatiana is a pretty new world.
 
My thing about heterochromatic eyes is this: If I let everyone have the choice, we'd have about ... five characters with that trait. Five.

I realize they have the choice. But it's just an attempt to look special or different, and it is cheap. Unless there's a compelling reason for there to be heterochromatic eyes they're going to be changed each time to one color.

If they really, really, really want that trait, they can ask the medical officer of their ship to perform the procedure on them. I'm not opposed to making them roleplay it out.

As for tanks ... that's interesting to know. Makes sense with all the old war equipment on that planet. I'll keep that bit in mind for later. Thanks Wes.
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 1

Note I was planning on being a new recruit just joined up going into the Fort Ready plot as a civilian just having signed up. Is that ok? Seemed like the best place to start with. Also I dont see what i need to change on Technology. Boilerplate? Sorry i'm having trouble navigating the sight. Thanks! -Ren
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 1

It needs to say, "Your character is capable of operating any computer system that uses the Kessaku OS, found on all Star Army starships. She is proficient in entering and/or searching for information."
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 1

Better? Any other adujustments? ^_^ The system's still kinda new so any help would be apreciated. ^_^
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 1

Go back and fix the other skills, too. My list lays it all out -- if you go back to the CCG, you'll see this link. Those are the basic descriptions you need for your skills. Note you also have to have at least the top four skills.
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 1

being the senior player in Fort ready, I have to warn you, the current plot is actually about 6 months in the past ICly, so you'd have to wait a bit. We're almost done with the plot Arc but you'd still have to wait, as Yagen is kinda slow.
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 2

Ok! ^_^ Edit 2 under way...anything else? Oh question, is one able to learn more skills later? I've always been the jack of all trades master of none sort.*shrug* And i'm kinda building my first character off my own peronality (as much as posible anyway). Also if Fort Ready is as stated...any other suggestions for me to start my first tour in? I'm open to adjusting to a recruit just out of basic at another base being sent to her first assignment too. If thats the rout what should i change on my sheet to match that? Thanks! -Ren
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 2

Sweetness. Is it looking good? and suggestions for joining? ^_^ Thanks for being patient with me! -Ren
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 2

First off, you don't need to say EDIT 1 or 2 in your bio name lol. It isn't necessary, so it doesn't really matter, I guess. ^_^ Anyway, put your contact info for us. That'll help a lot. :mrgreen:
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 2

Will you be more comfortable with Joint Posts or with Short Posts? I'd suggest looking at existing plot groups and the proportion of such, considering that before you write your request for orders and list the order of preference. There's plenty of ships that could use some Combat Arms types from what I read. The 17th is also looking for such, but its an elite unit...so might be different than what you're looking for.
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 2

It is Single Post, not Short Post, Lex, lol. ^^
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 2

Bio's looking good. Regarding the skill descriptions, you can add your own descriptions after the standard text. For example:

Fighting: Renko received hand-to-hand combat training, followed up with a rigorous training program. She is skilled and experienced in combat both in Yamatai-like conditions and in zero-gravity, with and without weapons. Weapons she is trained in include energy pistols, knives, and power armor. Street fighting skills acquired in her many fights with her brothers, she tends to be fast and dirty in hand to hand. Some skill with thrown explosives.

This allows the skill to reflect proficiencies gained during your character's upbringing and as well as her basic training as a soldier.
 
Re: Renko "Ren" Hibiki (my first char)EDIT 2

Still waiting for you to update the Fighting skill with the original text. You can add the other stuff to it --

Fuck. Damn you Yangfan! I'LL GET YOU.
 
*grin* Right then. I did my contact info, any other help will be apreciated.
As for which style...any suggestions for a newbie starting out as to ease and good flow?

-ren
 
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