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Approved Submission Revenant III Power Armor!

HarperMadi

HarperMadi

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Submission RP Example
https://stararmy.com/roleplay-forum/threads/power-armor-technology-demonstrations.69306/
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:ndc:armor:revenant_power_armor_mk_iii
Submission Faction(s)
  1. NDC
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
The Duskerian Legion's ever changing battlefield tactics and doctrine requires constant updates Currently, the NDC's ground forces rely on stealth and hard, precision strikes against hostile targets, alongside baseline defense.

While the modular design of the MK II revenant lended itself well to this idea, it did not offer the level of protection required to handle the wildlife of Sirris, most notably the Pack Roach native to that world. Many dozens of power armor infantry troopers were quickly torn apart in efforts to capture and study these creatures.

With advancements made by the capture of abandoned Mishhu power armors discovered on the surface of the worlds in the Sanctum system, advancements in Hyperspace Fuel Tap technology, and technology acquired from Yamataian allies and recovered salvage from the Kuvexian War, DOARAD eventually settled on a Geist neuromuscular repeater to interpret motion signals directly from the brain of Geist equipped personnel and Operators, alongside a single piece armor unit that completely negated the necessary use of assistance and the Revenant undersuit to armor up.

With the obsoletion some core structural components, updates have been made to include a main structure endoskeleton, improving the lifespan of the armor significantly and allowing a higher physical strength.

Other upgrades included complete redesign of the hand and boot, new computers, updated electronic stealth system, and a completely overhauled medical system. The nanite cloud cloaking system of the mk 1 and 2 Revenant system were also distinctly prone to being washed or blown away by rain and high wind environments, making the armor nearly impossible to cloak except in ideal conditions. When combined with the relatively unarmored belly of older units, this made the Revenant an easy target were it not for the expertise of our own Duskerian Legion.

Enter an all new team of engineers, a mix of the brightest minds and the most seasoned veterans to improve safety, survivability, and a combat edge over the dangers of the universe.

EDIT: Changed RP example!
 
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I will take the reviewer assignment on this, will wait for GM approval, and then I will start my review.
 
Roger that! Be warned, I did use previous versions of the article for older prototypes as I've built and improved on it.
 

Before I start the review from the stance of the technical/performance of the submission, let's work out some of the wiki structure and syntax -​


  • Several sections have things that can be wikified, an example just in the top section:
1665412819418.png

I've pointed out some things that can be wikified here. There is a lot of this throughout the article, I just identified things in the top section. This helps readers reference things and helps us keep the wiki fluid. Interlinking and wikification are important.

Also, dates can be linked in like this [[timeline:ye_44| YE 44.5]], when you're using the new decimal way of showing them.

  • The RP for this technically doesn't exist yet, because it is on write-with-me pads instead of the forum. So really I don't see the RP requirement being met until that RP is posted and the links are corrected to link to the forum, not pads.
  • I'd really like it if the weapons section was structured like most Wiki articles where the weapons are linked to their pages and the DVR 3 values of those weapons are listed.
  • I'd prefer it as well if you managed to get this in line with the Power Armor Template on Star Army Space Roleplay template for this kind of unit. the power armor template is probably the closest template you'd want to use.

Outside of these things, I really like the art and the baseline design that I have read so far. I will get into the nitty gritty but the above will get you started. If you need help on wikification if you catch me when I'm not busy I would be happy to help out.


Anyway let's work on getting this article into better form structure-wise then I will finish the technical side of the review. It looks great and will make a wonderful addition to the site once its approved.
 

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As best I can tell, this was already written in the Power Armor template, looking at the section names. The only real difference that I particularly see is that the appearance section is above the statistics and performance (which now that I think of it is somewhat odd, the PA template is the only one that I can think of with statistics put above appearance.)

In regards to the weapons section, I'm positive that just adding a list of the format you added should be fine, since there's no reason to get rid of the prose.
 
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Alex Hart said:
As best I can tell, this was already written in the Power Armor template, looking at the section names.
Click to expand...

Most sections are there, I noticed some are missing though - such as:

==== Controlling the Armor ====
This is where you will describe how the user operates this power.

Which is important for communicating to the player on the operation of the unit.
 
Okay, moved some stuff around, did some minor wikification, and realized that the Daisy is hilariously outclassed by this graphene tech junk.

(Edit: Put the wrong armor in. Mindies aren't even the same role, so why would the Rev outclass a Mindy? Home turf advantage is a huge factor.)
 
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Andrew said:
The RP for this technically doesn't exist yet, because it is on write-with-me pads instead of the forum. So really I don't see the RP requirement being met until that RP is posted and the links are corrected to link to the forum, not pads.
Click to expand...
RP - Power Armor Technology Demonstrations shows an early Revenant II B model built prior to the 3A/3B shift going up against multiple previous models before going up against an elysian specific Revenant 3B prototype. Specifically the first one.
 
Excellent -

  • The RP requirement is now met
  • I actually don't see any blazing technical conflicts or grossly overpowered tech (So good news is no reason to fret over this part)
  • I do still want to see more wikification, especially in the Weapons section, but others could use some more too. Get that done and I see no reason not to move to the checklist.
 
Alright, specifically wikified the weapons section, with more wikification coming as it comes. I referenced a lot of old tech in the development process and even used the old revisions feature to ensure that the differences between models could be easily found. It's not super OP, but it might force some folks to finally update their infantry power armor.
 
HarperMadi said:
Alright, specifically wikified the weapons section, with more wikification coming as it comes. I referenced a lot of old tech in the development process and even used the old revisions feature to ensure that the differences between models could be easily found. It's not super OP, but it might force some folks to finally update their infantry power armor.
Click to expand...
I don't see any issues in terms of anything being OP at all. I will do a final pass and checklist shortly.
 
Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ✅ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✅ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and the article template. Is all the information for struct present?
[ ✅ ] 3. The article follows our wiki-style guidelines, including No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✅ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✅ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate and are not broken
[ ✅ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels.
[ ✅ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and credited in the OOC section.
[ ✅ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✅ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✅ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

APPROVED.
 
Please remember to update the struct of the article now that it is approved. @HarperMadi
 
I think it needs to be moved into a different namespace, I'm not sure how the NDC is setup for namespaces and which struct is applied where. Might have to bring @Wes in on this, because where it currently is no schema has been applied.
 
I mean, it's not due for full roll out until next year (Unless it's actually good enough that DOARAD and DOE think they can send it and trial a mass production run and roll it out early.)
 
@Alex Hart @Andrew

Wanting to make an update to the Rev3 article.

Known Variants and Support Infrastructure

BW-PA-3T is the training variant, with all systems "demilitarized" or notional to perform training exercises. This version also uses a slightly more advanced sensor suite to detect and respond to notional hits from training weaponry. This suit is usually painted either orange or green as opposed to "live" variants' black default to assist in training cadre keeping track of their troops. Notably, this is the version currently approved to export to allied faction units with a Duskerian trainer on loan.

BW-PA-3A-S is the Separa'shan species specific variant, with the tail offering folding plates and rubber bottoms to assist with movement over most terrain. The thruster pack on this unit is divided into several tail mounted microthrusters with an improved overall efficiency, allowing surprising speed for its size.

BW-PA-3A-E is the Elysian/ Winged Humanoid specific unit, with armored wing covers that have to be assembled around the wings. While these come in several varieties and are custom fitted to the user, they do offer the same level of protection. The wing units are meant to fold naturally with the wing, and come with the back mounted thrusters relocated to the mid wing to allow the secondary weapons mountings to be relatively unchanged. This also allows the Revenant 3-E to fly much more efficiently than the base or the -S versions, offering longer range and higher loiter times, alongside aerial engagement capability. With some modifications, the 3A-E varient can carry a human pilot, but would require the AI copilot to run the wings.

BW-PA-3T-WK is an arming kit for the Revenant 3T model, allowing training units to arm and deploy their training model Revenant suits as live combat units within a day's work. This is considered an emergency kit, and requires command authorization to be deployed. While extensively tested, their application is extremely limited, requiring that a training unit be under threat of attack with no assistance coming from better armed units.

BW-PA-3A-SK, or "S-Kit" is the Separa'Shan conversion kit for the Revenant 3A base or 3T base model. This allows the Revenant 3 to be converted from the 3A to the 3A-S variant for Separa'Shan or other serpentine centaurid. It includes all special tools and necessary parts.

BW-PA-3A-EK, or "E-kit" is the winged humanoid conversion kit for the Revenant 3A or 3T base models, allowing conversion to an E variant. It includes all necessary parts and special tools, including tooling to produce armor plates.

BW-PA-3A-RK, or "R-Kit" is the kit to return any species specific varient to the 3A or 3T base model. It includes all special tools and necessary parts.
 
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