[quote="The article, with my recommended alterations and questions marked with "[ ]"-style brackets and bold.":ra1zmoqg]
======EvER Suit ======
====Background Information====
This suit is designed for one person, but can be easily adapted to be mass produced by any major organization. While at his job at the W.E.A Institution, Isaac was allowed to create one piece of equipment that would show his progress throughout the years of working and learning. Isaac chose to make a full body suit, an unpopular choice for it required much work and patience. It was completed in YE 30, shortly after Isaac had left W.E.A for a life in the military, when he was inducted into the Engineer Corps.
==== About EvER ===
The EvER Suit is basically made last any Engineer forever long they are inservice
[in service], this suit is used for moderate to dangerous matinance
[maintenance] and repair situations along with the protection against hazardous material and life threatening air substances. The suit was based off a skeleton model and the bone design, creating a light, but durable exoskeleton. EvER uses a neural interface along with some electronic amplifications to enhance the users grasp on the situation and a durable armor able to wear through the years, such as bones tend to do. Isaac designed this suit to last through his entire life as best he could.
[alternate]
The EvER Suit is engineered to last as long as it is in service [Note: ALL equipment lasts as long as it is in service, simply because once they are broken they are taken out of service or repaired]. It is used for moderate to dangerous maintenance and repair situations along with normal protection measures against hazardous materials and toxic airborne substances. Isaac designed the suit as best he could to last a lifetime.
The suit was based on a skeletal model and bone design [What sort of skeleton is it modeled after? Humans have an endoskeleton, not useful for an exoskeletal suit.]
, creating a light, but durable exoskeleton. EvER also uses a neural interface along with electronic amplifications of a user's awareness.
\\
* Total Cost: 2969
===== Statistical Information =====
* Government: - -
* Organization: - -
* Type: Engineering Suit ( Includes Hazard Helment/Body )
[Helmet, not Helment. You spell it correctly later on, so it's just a matter of paying attention.]
* Class: - -
* Designer: Isaac Destris
* Manufacturer: Isaac Destris
* Production: None, only one.
* Crew: One humanoid figure.
* Maximum Capacity: One humanoid figure.
* Appearance: The EvER Suit has a base suit of a dark blue quality that looks to be a simple spandex quality, it stretches from the base of the chin down to the feet, creating a shoe feature. The base suit is lined with pockets and holsters for any tools or equipment needed. Next, is the more protective layer, the arms (Includes shoulders), legs and chest areas are covered with 'bone' shaped segments of protective material: The arms and legs are composed of Industrial Plastics while the Chest piece is made from Duramite, providing a sold defense against bludgeoning and ballistic damage. The 'bone' shaped parts are mostly a dirty steel color with a bit of tan mixed in
[like your avatar?]. On the back there is a protective layering called "Back Bones", this resembles the spinal column and Scapula. This is made with Duramite (Don't want to destroy the back, do we?). Next, is the hazard helmet and the boots, also referred to as "Skull and Legs," pieces. These are made from Duramite, but are existentially
[Philosophical armor? I'm guessing you meant "externally".] well padded and resemble a helmet with a face shield and knee high boots, with the knee pads installed.
[Please check your use of commas or have someone do it for you. Or, with your permission, I can do it. It would be too much to re-write the article here with the fixes, but I can do it to the article itself.]
* Weight: 45 lbs
* Field Maintenance Procedure: Although not intended the field use or a standard issue armor for any infantry, this suit of armor requires extensive repair depending on what part of the armor was damaged. After each and every long period of use it should be examined and thoroughly repaired to bring back it's full potential. Yet, in the need of a quick fix, a few scrap parts and the right welding equipment it is able to stay intact for a short use without repair.
[alternate]
Although not intended for field use or armor for infantry, this suit requires may likely require extensive repair depending on what part was damaged. It should be checked after extended use and thourough maintenance is highly recommended to keep the armor running at full potential. For quick repairs, though, scrap parts and the right welding equipment will be enough for temporary fixes.
* Life Span: The suit has not reached it's retirement age nor even a one year use. So, it is unknown as the moment of the Life Span.
[alternate]
Unknown.
[Simple, effective. Though I get the idea that that section is for life-span
estimates, not definite numbers (I doubt someone's tested a starship for 100 years to see if it lasts that long before releasing it for use). This suit is supposed to last the lifetime of its owner, correct? A fifty-year life span would be good, but it sounds like someone could just keep fixing it and replacing parts, so it could be indefinite.]
===== System and Armor Description ===
<--- [ be sure to make these
even. That means five "=" marks on both sides.]
=== Armor ===
<--- [add one more "=" mark to each side, then you can have three on the sub-sections for the helmet and so on, and able to remove the "Ia.", "Ib" and so on.]
As said before it is made into 'bone' segments that cover the whole entire body, a short list will provide the components for these parts.
* Chest: (18) Industrial Plastics bone segments
* Arms & Shoulders: (16 both sides included) Industrial Plastics bone segments
* Legs: (5) Steel bone segments, covering from the front to the side of the legs.
[Question: Five leg pieces? Two on one leg, three on the other? Or ten pieces altogether, five for each leg?]
* Boots: (2) Pairs of Steel boots/Leg Wear (Including plating and Magnetic Manipulation on the soles of the boots)
* Back: (4) Bone segments, (2) Scapula sized pieces of Duramite.
Ia. === Helmet & Leggings ===
The Helmet is made from Duramite as well and covers the face along with softer spandex fitting inside the helmet that connect to the suit spandex reaching to the bottom of the chin. Inside the helmet contains some Powered Upgrades, but tends to rely on lighter stuff.
[alternate]
[...]The inside of the helmet contains some powered upgrades, but tends to rely on lighter stuff[what is this "stuff"?].
* Comms System
* Hacking Probe
* Neural Interface (Limiter Included)
* UV Filter/Light Amplification
* Sensory Network, External (Powered)
* Rebreather/Gas Mask (2 Hours)
* HUD System
=== Helment Notes===
[Again, "helmet"". If the word is highlighted when you write it (if you're using Firefox), either try again, grab a dictionary, or go to m-w.com (merriam-webster.com) and type in the word you're looking for.]
Many of the electronic equipment is built into the face shield part, but several of the circuits are built into the armor of the helmet. This creates a wire free helmet and only an enclosed space supported by optical equipment and other types.
The leggings are basically an integrated system of boots and armor plates (Made from Duramite) that extend up to the knee cap with the knee guard included. This provides a good support structure for the heavier upper parts along with any other extra equipment. It is also made with Magnetic Manipulation systems on the soles of the boots making the boots able to grip themselves onto any metal surface, particularly useful in Zero G environments.
Ib. ===The Spinal System===
The spinal column and Scapula section are compried
[comprised] of Duramite and are thin, but flexable
[flexible]. This also contains some key systems for the suit.
* Rechargable
[rechargeable] Batteries (For Powered Upgrades)
* Most connecting wires to the systems (Under the plating)
II. ==== Muscle Suit ====
This is the basis of the armor, the suit is comprised of a thicker than normal spandex material and the vital parts of the body are padded with a few bits of harder material.
* Spandex base (Rubbers)
* Exotic Fibers ( Vital parts; Chest, neck, groin, feet, ect.)
[etc. = Et Cetera.]
* Power Weave (Provides the connection to the batteries and the rest of the systems Powered Upgrades)
* Tightened Weaving
* Breathable Materials
* Insulation
The Muscle Suit also contains a small trace of Impact Armour, but not enough to stand against blasts alone. Also, the gloves contain Machine Interface wires. Which are located on the bottom of the wrist and directly link up into the HUD System of the face shield.
=====
==== Damage Capacity ====
//See [[:damage_rating]] for an explanation of the damage system.//
* Armor Defense: 4 SP (Heavy)
* Armor Modifiers:
* SP Mod: .6
* Spd Bonus: +.05c STL
* Spd Max: .425c
[Again, I ask: Why is there a speed bonus? We don't have those.]
[/quote]
I am also curious about the seemingly random capitalization of letters. I know it's not a big thing, which is why I didn't mark them, but I'm still curious about it. It can be confusing sometimes whether you're referring to a named product or just using upper-case letters because you felt like it.
Thanks for reading this far, and while my suggestions may not be required (it didn't seem like anyone else had any problems with the article as-is), they would certainly improve the ease of understanding and readability.
