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Approved Character Saiki Kouan - Shuji (Director) of the Yamatai - SSS

slight wording error: “Until the NH-29 the Nekovalkyrja were soldiers serving the Empire. I have never had a desire to be a soldier.”

I think you meant YE 29.

Other than that, it looks fine for a NPC background character. I'll wait for Wes to give it a look over since it's for Yamatai.

This character is recommended for approval once the player makes the minor correction and the faction manager gives it a once over.

 
Actually I meant NH-29, but I had accidentally left out two words. Here is how the sentence now reads.

Until the NH-29 all of the Nekovalkyrja were soldiers serving the Empire. I have never had a desire to be a soldier.
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Major note: I won't approve this until the SSS has been approved.

When teaching he wears a long white coat, on it a patch depicts the Ancient Temple of Athena from ancient earth.
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Delete this. There's no ancient Earth here.

When asked why he never opted for a transfer to a Nekovalkyrja his reply was the same. “Until the NH-29 all of the Nekovalkyrja were soldiers serving the Empire. I have never had a desire to be a soldier.”
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Why would a male be asked to transfer into a Neko body? This is so rare as to be unthinkable among the populace — even with a certain famous Samurai already doing it.

YE 10 He under went a body transfer to a Geshrin, for the purpose of integrating better into the Yamatai society. ...
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I'm not sure this is even possible. I don't think the Soul-Transfer technology was in the hands of Yamatai at that point. The Fourth Elysian War was the last war fought between the Elysians and Yamatai, and I thought it was the third war that resulted in obtaining ST tech.

YE 30 Met with Empress Himiko regarding his proposed Albini Reborn Project, later appointed to the Yamatai - Scientific Studies Service (SSS) as the Shuji.
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How has this happened? You haven't been approved yet.

Skills:

Your character has nine skills. He should have seven. You didn't complete the Leadership skill, so perhaps you can lop it off. Starship Operations can definitely go. Communication should also likely go.

Overall: The personality is a bit confusing but acceptable. However, you took liberties with this character, and now you need to fix them. Just because it's an NPC does not mean it can break the rules.

This character is pending. Please address the list of edits above and bump the thread when it is ready for a second review.
 
Doshii Jun said:
Major note: I won't approve this until the SSS has been approved.
Click to expand...

SSS was approved. IT was originally submitted as:
Y-CAARS, and renamed based on suggestion by Wes.

viewtopic.php?f=20&t=3379&start=0

When teaching he wears a long white coat, on it a patch depicts the Ancient Temple of Athena from ancient earth.
Click to expand...
Delete this. There's no ancient Earth here.

Changed to wears a white lab coat.

When asked why he never opted for a transfer to a Nekovalkyrja his reply was the same. “Until the NH-29 all of the Nekovalkyrja were soldiers serving the Empire. I have never had a desire to be a soldier.”
Click to expand...
Why would a male be asked to transfer into a Neko body? This is so rare as to be unthinkable among the populace — even with a certain famous Samurai already doing it.

That was just there to show that he has always had no desire to be a warrior, since it confused you and isn't vital, Its been removed.

YE 10 He under went a body transfer to a Geshrin, for the purpose of integrating better into the Yamatai society. ...
Click to expand...
I'm not sure this is even possible. I don't think the Soul-Transfer technology was in the hands of Yamatai at that point. The Fourth Elysian War was the last war fought between the Elysians and Yamatai, and I thought it was the third war that resulted in obtaining ST tech.

According to the Timeline, YE 01 Soul Transfer tech was acquired, and the Geshrin page states: "Soon, with Soul-Transfer (ST) technology made readily accessible by the government, nearly the entire population was 'upgraded' to the new species. "

YE 30 Met with Empress Himiko regarding his proposed Albini Reborn Project, later appointed to the Yamatai - Scientific Studies Service (SSS) as the Shuji.
Click to expand...
How has this happened? You haven't been approved yet.

Given that SSS was approved and had him listed as the Shuji it stands to reason that he would have met with Himiko, I plan to discuss the exact nature of the visit with Wes. However, for the time being I have removed that statement Until I can work it out with Wes.

Skills:

Your character has nine skills. He should have seven. You didn't complete the Leadership skill, so perhaps you can lop it off. Starship Operations can definitely go. Communication should also likely go.

If he was a starting PC then yes the Seven limit should apply, but there are plenty of "experienced" NPC's that have many more than the starting seven. However since you took issue with the number, I have trimmed it down to seven.
 
Thank you for the catch on ST tech; I should've tried harder to find it. And the Y-CAARS too.

This NPC-type character is approved for IC usage.
 
Easy with the Soul Transfer stuff, I've been working on getting the Timeline updated as best I can for over a month now.
 
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