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Waiting on Submitter Sentinel-class Control Frigate

Charaa

Charaa

Staff Member
🎨 Media Gallery
Submission WIP URL
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:corp:mining_guild:starships:the_posessor#sentinel_class_control_frigate
Submission RP Example
https://stararmy.com/roleplay-forum/threads/in-the-business-of-the-mining-guild.70913/page-2#post-446959
Submission URL
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=corp:mining_guild:starships:the_posessor#sentinel_class_control_frigate
Submission Template URL
https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=templates:starship
List Any Unapproved Sub-Articles

RECORM Bots on Star Army Space Roleplay

wiki.stararmy.com wiki.stararmy.com
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Outlaws (Independent)
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
Here's the next big ship in the Mining Guild Fleet, now taking the position of their first Frigate. Also included in the submission is the Recorm bots, which is a part of the ship as a sub article. Also to reiterate what i said in the pages, the art was created using copilot.
 
Upvote 3 Downvote
I will take a look at this one. Reviewer assigned. In the need time, Need FM approval for NDC - @Alex Hart
 
Thank you Andrew, for taking this on as a reviewer.

However, this is for the Mining Guild, not the NDC, and I have gotten through without needing to poke and bother Alex in another submission before.
 
I see, I thought Mining Guild was apart of the NDC. Well then I will start my review today.
 
Alright, lets begin.

Thank you for your submission.

  • The opening line at the top should be shortened to a precise sentence as to what exactly this is. Art credits go in the OOC section of the article. (Feel free to message me
  • The entire article has a lot of missed opportunities for wikification. The names, places, factions, and things like that can all be wikified to better link this article into the wiki thus making it more relevant.
  • There are places with multiple headings with very little information between them that could be reduced to information displayed under a single heading making the article more condensed and easy to read. (Appearance section)
  • The crew information can be condensed into a table or more compact way of displaying that information as well.
  • The weapons should have their DR displayed.
  • I sent you no background versions of the images with a white background this morning.
Thank you.
 
The opening line at the top should be shortened to a precise sentence as to what exactly this is. Art credits go in the OOC section of the article.
Click to expand...

I made some edits here, and moved art credits to the bottom of the article.

The entire article has a lot of missed opportunities for wikification. The names, places, factions, and things like that can all be wikified to better link this article into the wiki thus making it more relevant.
Click to expand...

I tried to go over and add some links as requested

There are places with multiple headings with very little information between them that could be reduced to information displayed under a single heading making the article more condensed and easy to read. (Appearance section)
Click to expand...

I attempted to fix this, especially in the appearance section

The crew information can be condensed into a table or more compact way of displaying that information as well.
Click to expand...

This has been put in tables, like I mentioned in dm, I was scared due to a previous error

The weapons should have their DR displayed.
Click to expand...

I attempted to add the DR tier added, I might need extra help to be on the safe side.

I sent you no background versions of the images with a white background this morning.
Click to expand...

Thank you!
 
Seeing as how this is a Mining Guild starship being developed not in cooperation with the NDC, I would say that it's probably unlikely that it would have access to the NDC's proprietary starfighters for usage. I can make some suggestions for which fighters might be easy for the Mining Guild to purchase locally, if you like. It may be worth figuring out how many fighters this ship can manage to carry.
 
The Starbreakers are under the Black Wing Enterprise namespace, and likely too will the Starbreaker updates, which need NTSE approval, on the original thread. In the updates i have included Conclave shipworks, and Mining Guild Engineering corps, as manufacturers, and it would be possible to have Mining guild purchase additional Starbreakers.

If needed you are welcome to negotiate a purchase from Yugumo @Charaa
Click to expand...
I'll take that into consideration, definitely.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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