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Approved Character Serenity Holmes

Well, just right off the bat, I can tell you that as it is, this character won't fly. First off, a synthetic intelligence isn't a species. That determines the brain, but says nothing about the body, which is what the physical species refers to.

I'm just going to assume you were trying to be funny with the Rank thing, but in all seriousness, where do you plan to put this character? Unless there's a specific direction you have in mind for this character, I'm hesitant to approve it at all.

The physical characteristics need to be much more detailed. For example, when you say she's "slightly muscular", are you talking about muscular definition, or the presence of muscles under the skin? Someone can be cut without being especially muscular or strong, and someone can be strong without much, if any, definition. The hair, too. Is it straight, wavy, curly... A lot of the sections seem to be cut off. You definitely need something in the distinguishing features area.

The personality is incredibly barebones as well. Generally speaking, 3-4 sentences is what is recommended. Sheeply's guide is a good way to start things off.

Your goal is pretty, uh. Uninspired in this setting. Upgrades to the NH-31 Minkan body are completely free for any Yamataian citizens, and anyone can become a citizen. Bioroids have been standard and easy to get into in Yamatai for more than a decade now, the only reason for someone to not be one is that they don't want to be one.

In the history, it's a bit unlikely that she would know about the Lavans Synthoids. They're pretty uncommon even in the commonwealth, and there's very little contact with the commonwealth by the rest of the setting. Overall though, there's very little "history" in the history section.

Under communications, same problem as earlier. It's not really feasible to know all of those languages. Some of those factions haven't made open contact with the setting at large, some have only interacted through Trade, their language isn't used outside of their territories, and so on.

Under Rogue, it's "sleight of hand", not "slight of hand", but more to the point, seduction isn't sleight of hand.

Under Tech Operations, you need to specify that it's civilian systems she knows. Not having been in any of the military, she'd have no access to the higher end military systems.

Under fighting, it should be understood that textbook knowledge and practical knowledge are two very different things. Just having studied how something is done is wildly different from actually doing the physical act itself.

You also probably want to detail the inventory some more. She's literally got nothing but a ship right now. Speaking of which, the ship's not really feasible. That's a 60k ship. Even shared between 2 characters, you guys would only have 6k KS, not 60k. You might be able to argue a smaller, cheaper ship, but not one that's THAT far out of your feasible range.

This character is in progress, but not yet ready to be approved.
 
I'll have some things to say too, but in the meantime: the art you used was hosted off-site and is copyrighted. I removed the link and put in some generic anon art as a placeholder.

If you have your own art illustrating the character, feel free to upload it into our wiki system and link from there.
 
Ok, I will defend a couple of my choices, In Creating an Independent Character the following list is suggested as transportation. I didn't realize it cost so much and would love your opinion or suggestion on one more our price range if this list isn't up to date.
I had no idea it was so expensive so please help us find something in our price range.

In the page https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=guide:skills it clearly states under the rogue skill the following:

Rogue (Pick-pocketing, pick locks, sleight of hand, “streetwise,” seduction).

I have changed my other things, and would love another look through. I will decide my inventory after we figure out what sort of ship kayin and I can have.
 
There is the Onset shuttle (edit: found the link, somebody do the math on the range of the FTL) and public transportation.

I just had my character Reed join a crew of independents as a pilot. It was much a cheaper option for transportation.
 
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So, right off the bat, I want to point out that of those four ships, you picked out literally the most expensive one, despite the fact that all four list a price straight out in literally the first statistical category. Either the Light Freighter or the Jilanth would be much more feasible, but are still stretching it, and would probably require your characters to go into debt to cover the cost.

All of the categories you listed following the Rogue skill are parts of the rogue skill. I didn't say Seduction wasn't part of Rogue, I said it's not sleight of hand, which is how it's written right now.

Outside of there, I'll wait until Doshii's had his chance to say what he thinks, since he's one of the few who have been around longer than me at this point.
 
When I was looking through the wiki for background to flesh out my character a few months back, I vaguely remember coming across a ship giveaway reference for used and scrapped ships for one of the races, if you could chase that up and ask around, maybe there could be a background story on getting a ship from there? It would probably be near scrap and patched to within an inch of its ship-life though. Think it was for either the Elysions or the Freespacers.
 
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