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Approved Character Skyanaris Flight

Sorry for taking so long to see this, I think you did a good job.

I was wondering if perhaps the Elysian Wars should be included in the history since they were major events for most Elysians.

@Kashton1 (UKA)
 
I sincerely apologize for the delay on this, @Kashton1 (UKA) - here's my review of Skyanaris Flight.
  • Would you mind adding more internal wiki links - Archangel, Elysian-sounding, please? Even something like "Skyanariel" would work. Also, what made him want to change his last name to "Flight[?]"
  • Given what's stated in the Physical Description section, wouldn't it make more sense for him to be able to glide - or even fly - for extended periods of time due to his wingspan?
  • What events/influences/etc. led to his Personality becoming the way it is now? What led him to become such a hard worker?
  • In the History section, would you mind making "Pre-Business History" and "Before that" into proper sub-headers, please?
    • Pre-Business History
      • Why did he receive an inheritance from his father? Did the latter pass away - and if so, from what? Old age? Patricians, remember, tend to live for centuries.
      • What help did he receive from family and friends? Money and supplies?
      • Where did the "shipyard and facility" come from? To the best of my knowledge, the only space-based shipyards Elysia had were the Rampart-class Fortresses - and only one of those (the ECI Aspasia survived the Second Mishhuvurthyar War. Perhaps he instead used the majority of his inheritance to purchase a Sanza-class Shipyard from Geshrinari Shipyards?
      • Where and when did he take the "...crash course which taught the art of business ownership[?]"
    • Before that
  • Would you mind expanding the Social Connections section a bit, please? For instance, what is/was his relationship with his parents - and how old are/were they? What are/were their names? Who are his "inner family" and "inner friendships" - and what is his relationship with them?
  • Skills Learned
    • Would you mind expanding the Communications skill just a tad? The way it's worded now, he's fluent in speaking and comprehending Yamataigo, Trade, and Seraphim - but doesn't know how to read or write it.
    • Business/Management, unfortunately, isn't a character skill area - hence I'd recommend listing it as Knowledge (Business/Management) instead. Also, would you mind expanding upon it a little - as in, another sentence or two?
    • For the remaining skill areas, I'd recommend something along the lines of:
      • Architecture, with a brief description (2-3 sentences) about his skills in designing habitats such as space stations and houses.
      • Engineering, with a brief description (2-3 sentences) about his skills in designing luxury starships and the aforementioned habitats.
      • Mathematics, with a brief description (2-3 sentences) about his skills in the black magic field of accounting.
  • Inventory & Finance
    • The closest currency equivalent to the USD in the setting would be the KS, as far as I'm aware.
    • Would you mind expanding upon this section? Someone with his wealth, for instance, would be able to afford some classy custom apparel - and would you mind listing exactly how much wealth he actually has? (What would a good value for this be, @Wes? It says here that you can start off with up to 7,000 KS by going into debt, but that doesn't seem to be particularly...accurate for this character.)
I know it seems like a lot, and I'm not trying to be harsh or anything - I'm just curious about Skyan and about what his motivations are, and I can't wait to see the first-ever Elysian corporation within the setting open its doors for business. :)

Is there anything I can help you with regarding le birbs? I'm going on vacation tomorrow, but I'll do my best to stay in touch and reply within a timely fashion (as opposed to the four days it took me to respond to this :oops:).
 
@FrostJaeger I did my best to fix my character's profile. I'd like to think I have addressed all of the issues.. As far as formatting goes I kind-of have my own style but I have tried to match it as close to your expectations. Please tell me what you think. :)

Seriously!?, I will be the first Elysian Corporation... wow.. Cool. (lol)

( @Wes Everything looks good?)

:)

Note- now the company needs some little tweaks, but lets focus on the character right now..
 
Fancy $300 pen
Redundant pen
Click to expand...
I wanna be living this kind of life ^ It'd be nice if I had a fancy and redundant version of everything tbh

I think you wrote who's when you meant whose.

Cool character!
 
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