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Approved Character Souken Itaranai

The yamataian body was only out for 3 years. Would the teasing and its consequences really have had been that unsupportable?
 
You know how the teenage years can be, as a human. I would expect it to be no less different for a teenage metahuman. A month of constant teasing is one thing, three years a completely different matter. I do, however, see a problem with his age, now that this has come up.
 
Well, changing at 16 seems okay. Those are the college years and he's still in his teens. At that age, you have pressure from the studies, pressure from being a grownup and going autonomous, pressure to look for a girlfriend and get somewhere in your life, etc...

Not exactly high school angst, but its a different sort of trial to go through.
 
I'd like to know why you still have this wierd eye thing.

Also, why isn't he just born instead of built? At 19 years old, he's young enough to have had geshrin parents.

Furthermore, most nekovalkyrja on Yamatai are soldiers whom were taken out of military service to be integrated to society... but they're usually given the menial labor jobs (unless they were really well placed in the military). For that reason, I find it odd that nekos would have given him trouble in his childhood.

Also, he joins the Star Army, despite more 90% of the personnel in it are actually nekos? It's... somewhat odd, don't you think?

(no harshness meant - I just want to help you build a more solid bio)
 
Personal preference, I suppose. My rational is that partial heterochromia is common in humans, so why not? If it is an issue, I'll remove it.

Not a big difference to me. Born it is.

I suppose that is true, but it's more about superiority than anything. When he was a Geshrin he was teased by the Yamataians. Now that he IS Yamataian, even though he is now on par with his past aggressors, he still has an innate complex with those superior to him, i.e. Nekovalkyrja.

Odd, yes, but he has a fear of other people in general anyway, plus the fact that his long-term goal is to prove himself useful. What better way to do that than to show up his "superiors" while in their midst?
 
Okay, that holds up to my scrutinery.

You've been cooperative and this entry is a lot more solid than it was initially. Great improvements. If no one else has comments to add, I'd be inclined to recommend this for approval.
 
No offense intended, but I'm currently too tired to focus right now. Could one of you (Fred or Jake) approve (or reject) the bio for me?

If no one does, I'll re-review the bio tommorow when I come back from sleeping. *heads to bed*
 
*Points the Goban or the Sakura* Sorry, but 10 player characters is pretty much my limit for the moment.
 
Darn. I wanted to join the newer 'ship, out of fear of altering an already fine story, and feeling out of place. Anyway, it's another four weeks until my 18th birthday, so Sakura's out. (Pst...and frankly, the Goban always smells like Gouah. <.< >.>)
 
>_> I think Wes would be more flexible than that if you really wanted to board his plotship and that you actually admitted you were close, but didn't quite have the prerequisite to join the plot.
 
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