1) "...armours shields..." Put an apostrophe on armour's.
2) "Type: custom power armor " Custom should be capitalized.
3) "... the surface of the armour decorated with soft swirling lines." Put
is between armour and decorated.
4) Systems Descriptions needs text underneath the header.
5) "...surrounding Human’s and.." humans not Human's.
6) What tier is the entire PA? I see its armor's tiers, but they're both different from one another.
7) You did not use the
PA template, which is a problem. I made that template, so I feel guilty for the trouble you're going to go through by making you stick to it, but it is a part of the checklist ([ ] In the proper format/template). I made one for you, you don't have to use it. I'm doing this quickly for you, so I may have forgotten to add something from yours to this one, double check and make sure it's all there. I gave it all a cursory run-through. Regardless, everything you need to get this approved is there! (Fill in some things like advantages, drawbacks, getting in and out.)
8) "...other Volumetric displays..." & "... detecting the Motor and speech areas..." No need to capitalize either of these words.
9) A few times in Interior, you write pilots when it should be pilot's with an apostrophe.
10) "...into the suits water reservoir..."
11) "...drawing of stance" Of should be off.