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Approved Submission [The Union] Vekimen Defense Task Force

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Zekec

Zekec

Inactive Member
Submission Type: Organization
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:vekimen_defensive_task_force:military

Faction: The Union
FM Approved Yet? (Yes; Ira, Several days ago when first discussing it, he gave us full creative freedom over adding the Vekimen to the Union and has been ok with what we have done so far.)
Faction requires art? (No)

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (No)
Contains New art? (No)
Previously Submitted? (No)

Notes:
The Vekimen Defense Task Force has already officially become a vassal of sorts to the Union, which Ira greatly approves of. Just wanted to say that to make it clear, that they are under the Union and not becoming their own playable faction.

@Ira
 
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I feel like @CadetNewb, as the ex Vekimen FM, knows a lot about the Vekimen and can take this submission places I likely couldn't.
 
Uh, isn't that why I shouldn't @Ametheliana ? @META_mahn or @Arbitrated would be more suited to this if you're not able, and I'm able to review it as well if they aren't. Though not strictly against the rules, it's considered impolite at least, and biased at most if I do, so I'm best off as a last resort.
 
Well what if we don't have the time to review it? Go yell at Cadet to review it or something. I'm not. I don't have the time for it.

And no matter how you look at it, it's still against the rule. Don't bump the thread if the reviewers aren't getting to it.
 
Don't really see what the harm is in trying to get something looked at when its been sitting around for two weeks and a bunch of Edto's articles are not getting approved because of this wiki article. Didn't know about that rule, so I guess the appropriate thing to do would be to PM the mods and ask them to look at it.

As for Cadet looking at it, if you look back on what was said two weeks ago, it was pointed out that @META_mahn and @Arbitrated would be better mods to look at it, since neither Edto or Cadet wanted to be seen as 'rubber-stamping' the article like they've been accused of before. I get if you don't have the time to do it, but maybe you can just say that instead of acting like Edto asked you for your lunch money.
 
META_mahn said:
Well what if we don't have the time to review it? Go yell at Cadet to review it or something. I'm not. I don't have the time for it.

And no matter how you look at it, it's still against the rule. Don't bump the thread if the reviewers aren't getting to it.
Click to expand...

We really can not win here. If Cadet reviewed the article, then you and your clique would "yell at" us for breaking the rules. You do not have the time to review the article. I understand that. However, you don't have to respond with this passive-aggressive and frankly, childish little tantrum.

All you have to do is come in the thread, state that you don't have the time to review the article, and ask Arbitrated or Ametheliana to review the article. Would that be so hard?
 
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I can do a checklist but it is not proofread for spelling and grammar and is not wiki-fied, on a cursory glance. It's well fleshed out, though, and is useful for future RP, thus should be gotten to quickly.
 
Thank you Ame! I look forward to your checklist.

But also guys, please don't fill my submission thread with arguments. Two weeks is plenty time to wait for at least someone saying they will review it(I have seen an article or two posted and approved within days), and your comment does not help matters Meta. Now please, no one else comment about this topic.
 
This review is for: Vekimen Defensive Task Force with URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:vekimen_defensive_task_force:military

The submitted article is/has…
[ ^ ω ^] A very high level of overall quality
[ ^ ω ^] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ ^ ω ^] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)
[ ^ ω ^] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[ToC is disrupted] In the proper format/template
[See notes] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[^ ω ^] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[Not quite there] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[^ ω ^] No red and/or broken links
[^ ω ^] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[^ ω ^] Reasonably neutral point of view
The submitted article is/does not…
[^ ω ^] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[^ ω ^] Obtusely redundant
[^ ω ^] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[^ ω ^] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[^ ω ^] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[^ ω ^] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[^ ω ^] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[^ ω ^] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[^ ω ^] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[^ ω ^] Lacking Detail
[^ ω ^] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)
The article has…
[N/A] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[N/A] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[See Notes] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[N/A] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.

I intend to finish this review by: 10/10/17 (or later if you're not done!)

Notes:
Can you try to make a pre YE date of creation? It's really hard to find in the footnotes when it was created in a year format everyone on the site can digest.

Grammar and spelling: (You put ad where and should be, it's instead of its, Vekimens instead of Vekimen's, etc. There are random capitals throughout the article. If something does not start the sent. or is not a proper noun, it prob doesn't need a capitalization. You put /all/ instead of //all//.)

The right wrap infobox needs to be inserted lower, probably after a few paragraphs, to accommodate the ToC. I know ToC cause problems a lot, but this will help.

This refers to Alliance of the Black Sun a lot. Is this a vestigal saying from when the BS was still being formed? Does it need to change to Asteria, now? Or is the alliance going to continue in some different form?

Is there any part of the VDTF that deals with "feral" Vekimen?

I have come to understand the Vekimen enter the VDTF as children from birth in order to not become feral, right? Is there anything about training programs you could say?
 
Sorry Zekec, I just hate it when people ping me to review things. I don’t like it when people throw work at me to do when said job is supposed to mostly be free-form and I can review what I want at whatever time I want.

Instead of, well, people expecting me to do it on their clock.

*grumbles something about old sales job*
 
To be honest Meta, it's a rather thankless job despite being an important part of the site. Though, if it helps, keep in mind that you don't have to reply.
 
Everything i being worked on, but I would like to ask that you point me in the direction of where you read about the Vekimen children not becoming feral? It's been a while since I went over these documents and I want to make sure my information doesn't clash.
 
The feral children thing came from 188604 when there were a bunch of female Vekimen who took their birth control out and started repopulating and then they were going to be aborted by Edto's character so my character said she would take all of the children in and raise them if the Vek on the planet didn't want to deal with them. So when she asked Edto's character said that if they didn't go through VDTF training then they wouldn't be able to live normally because they would be feral.
 
CadetNewb said:
To be honest Meta, it's a rather thankless job despite being an important part of the site. Though, if it helps, keep in mind that you don't have to reply.
Click to expand...
I know, I'm just tired of everyone and their entire family tree going like @Arb @Meta "HEY REVIEW MY SUB PLS THANK BAI" like they're entitled to our personal reviewings.

Quite frankly it ticks me off to no end now. I have the forum watched, guys...if I don't get around to yours, I don't.

Edit: In any case, it seems like this isn't my submission to review.
 
Ahhhh. Vekimen Children are feral. Quite so actually. It isn't that they will exactly remain feral that Zahen said they wouldn't be able to live normally it's that A) the VDTF was an iron fisted dictatorship that hard barely gotten settled on a new planet after having supremely strict population control regulations, B) living population was held close to Khelena's chest, C) Aashi ((I think?)) was providing an out to allow Vekimen to circumvent the rules put in place which likely would have been a far larger issue. Once word of the exception got out, more and more people would have tried to utilize the potential "out" hence the supremely harsh reaction, and D) Vekimen children require a VERY heavy hand or they will actually likely kill you. Everything that makes a Vekimen dangerous ((Venom, Necrotic bacteria, stealth, natural weapons)) in a much smaller and less inhibited package. Throw in they are instinctual ambush hunters, and Aashi until then had never had contact with Vekimen on any grandeur level, Zahen was, in a morbid and cruel way, looking out for her safety as well as the continued operation of the Vekimen on 188604. One Vekimen child would be a hell of time. 8 IMHO would have been a very possible, if not assured, death sentence for a single "parent."

The VDTF does have a heavy involvement with raising children ((They literally raise the children)) but if you can apply the correct techniques and have a solid knowledge of how Vekimen work you could raise a perfectly rational Vekimen child without getting harmed yourself. The VDTF have just streamlined the process, and are admittedly, far less... Paternal about it. More like the SPARTAN training from Fall of Reach. Electric cattle prods and beatings. Vekimen aren't nice.

Finally, the Vekimen wouldn't be accepted into VDTF society, which is basically a death sentence to Vekimen because all of them are part of the VDTF at the time. Now, we are starting to see that things are changing because Khelena can't really keep such tight control, and the creation of the Morioka Clan, along with other such population based variables.
 
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