What's new
  • If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at [email protected] or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 May and June 2024 are YE 46.4 in the RP.

Approved Character Tsukiki Alia

Hi,

Okay, I fixed a few things for you, like the red links for rank, added a few other Wiki links and fixed the inventory.

I found a few things that need to be addressed though.

History:
Yamataian's like Nekovalkyjra regenerate so the paralysis would not be permanent, and if the body was so badly damaged, they would have just made another Yamataian body, the government wouldn't force a male to become a female.

Valkyrja do not have to sign a lifetime contract. A created Valkyrja only need serve for 8 years, and then will have completed their contract.

As for the memories being altered, you would need to add something in his/her history as to why someone would have tampered with the backup data since that's a major violation of the law.

Personality:
withdrawn when asked about her life as a yamataian.

If she has no memory of that life, why would she become withdrawn? And what about her family? What relationship do they have.

I do not object to this character, I'm just saying that the history needs to provide answers to the above questions. Perhaps he made an enemy and the 'accident' that landed him in the hospital was supposed to be fatal, and failing that the enemy decided to bribe someone to commit a 'death of personality'.

Since this one is headed towards my plot, I'm going to ask one of the other reviewers to handle it from here.
 
I'll echo what Nashoba said.

The "glitch" is a gimmick, and you don't need it. What's the point of him losing all his memories, even if it were possible?

Likewise, a male going into a female Neko's body is about as unnecessary as it gets. Do you want the benefits of the Neko body? If so, then create a Neko.
 
[Fixed]
Also The reason i wanted to do a guy in a neko is because i don't play girls very well, and this way if i mess up then i have a IC reason. Anyway i think it also makes a complicated character.
 
You don't need an IC reason to justify messing up because you don't play females well.

We're kinder than that. Just play her how you think she should be played, and continue on.

Instead of making the character more simple, now you've made it more complex. The backstory involves SAINT being duped. Not very likely. What's worse is that you still don't justify why he was put in a Neko body — yes he was nearly killed by possible enemies, but that still doesn't explain why he wasn't put into a Yamataian body instead of the Neko one.

Why do you want to play a Neko? You say you don't play females very well, yet here you are, playing one. Why not just play the Hedato character, sans SAINT connections?

... I'm sorry, I'm ranting a bit. I'll be concise: You're a new player. Focus less on the complication of the backstory, and more on getting a character that can be approved quickly, so you can get into the setting and learn about it.
 
Doshii Jun said:
Why do you want to play a Neko? You say you don't play females very well, yet here you are, playing one. Why not just play the Hedato character, sans SAINT connections?
Click to expand...

I'm playing a Neko because of the obvious advantages of the Neko body has over the Yamataian, (Ex. the S.P.I.N.E.) that makes them better starship pilots.
 
Then I ask you to please play a straight Neko. The story you've got is forced; her personality traits can stand alone without the backstory you've written.
 
RPG-D RPGfix
Back
Top