Approved Submission TWF-30cal

[Jack Pine]

Submission URL

https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=faction:neshaten:tsumi:ammo:twf-30cal

Submission Faction(s)

1. Neshaten

Submission Terms

1. I agree

@IQ
@SirSkully
Hey here's the ballistic ammo for the new weapon system IQ asked me to do for the Tsumi.

 

[Jack Pine]

I don't even know XD

 

[Ametheliana]

@Jack Pine maybe you can talk with Alex to better understand his question?

Instead of ballistic, can you please say "kinetic"?

Stats says this currently, please change:
Some basic text about the stats, such as highlights, goes here.

Please link to DRv3

Can you expound on the chemical propellant in the prose of the intro paragraphs?

 

[Jack Pine]

ballistic is another word for kinetic, they are the same thing. I'll get on that stats info. As for specific propellant i don't know i'm not a chemist. I'm not that smart >.<

 

[Ametheliana]

I know, and because they mean the same thing I would rather it be kinetic since that is what the majority of current SARP articles use.

Can you include anything about what propellant it uses? In this instance if it were my article, I'd do a bit of googling to help me.

 

[Jack Pine]

edited in text under the header, and only immediate thing i can find on google is that modern munition propellants are nitrocellulose based. I have added this to the article, and replaced "ballistic" with "kinetic".

also after some quick research, i have adjusted a few of the stats. Everything should be up to spec with a standard .30 rifle cartridge.

7.62×33mm @Alex Hart

also lowered the damage to T2 since this is used as a rifle cartridge.

 

[FrostJaeger]

Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...

[ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores.
[ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template.
[ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar.
[ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate.
[ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels.
[ N/A ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern).
[ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Here are some fixes this article still needs:

1. Please convert the "Price" table into a unordered bulleted list point with the price listed in KS, as the currency equivalents can be displayed in a footnote.
2. Please unabbreviate the title in order to avoid conflicting with the Style Guide.
3. Please edit or remove the second group of sentences in the article's opening section, as the ammunition is not listed as being an anti-armor or vehicle weapon.

When these fixes are made, please post a reply here so I can re-check the article. Thank you!

Status: Pending

 

[Jack Pine]

Frost the title isn't a abbreviation. This is a 30cal round, not a weapon.

Also Wes has said that putting pricing in a table is appropriate and is acceptable.

 

[FrostJaeger]

"30cal" itself is an abbreviation, Jack, because it stands for ".30 caliber." I'd suggest changing the title to something like ".30cal Tsumi," similar to the .45 Zen Armaments.

 

[IQ]

Calling it .30cal Tsumi seems... Weird. Tsumi aren't .30 caliber. They're around 2 to 3 meters.

All joking aside, does TWF .30 caliber work as a title?

 

[FrostJaeger]

Would ".30 Tsumi War Forges" work, @IQ?

 

[IQ]

I'm personally not a fan of un-abbreviating TWF, it sounds slicker that way. But I'll change it in title. Mention in article will remain the same, if that's alright?

 

[FrostJaeger]

Ye. ovob

 

[IQ]

I'll notify you when I make the change, currently writing the Tsumi opener.

 

[IQ]

Done.

 

[FrostJaeger]

Thanks, @IQ, however, I have one final request: would you mind converting the "Price" table into an unordered bulleted list point with the price listed in KS, please? It's because the currency equivalents can be displayed in a footnote and because, well, there isn't a price table in the ammunition template.

Now, I know, I know - I approved the Section 6 High Explosive Grenade, even though it had a pricing table. That, however, was only because it had images and multiple quantities listed - which isn't the case here. >v<

 

[Alex Hart]

I think that the way the table exists now, there's no real reason for it not to be there. It's not replacing part of the template and isn't difficult to read.

Edit:

I do have a question about the lore though. It's described as being large but used by the Tsumi as if it were a 7.62. But it is a 7.62 round and is, in fact, smaller than many other 7.62 rounds out there. I'm having trouble reconciling the lore with the stats.

 

[IQ]

I'm going to wait until I get a final ruling here. I don't feel like I'm being dogpiled, but this is a good example to explain the one submission per thread rule. It tends to get confusing as well xD

I'm not telling you to sod off from this thread, Alex. Don't get me wrong. xD

So, I'd much rather not remove the pricing table. But I will if need be.

To answer your question, Alex, I've honestly no clue? I'm not much of a gun nut OOC, on account of being european. It's still Jack's submission, I requested him to make the TWF warmaker, as well as the subsequent ammunition, so I'll have to talk to him regarding a fix. Though I'm always open to suggestions as well, if you had any ideas on how to fix it?

 

[FrostJaeger]

*grumble* Although I personally disagree - and strongly prefer that the ammunition price be listed as a bullet point - I will concede that the Style Guide says tables should be used sparingly (as opposed to not at all) and that @Alex Hart is right in that this particular table doesn't replace anything and is relatively easy to read. Therefore...

[ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores.
[ ] 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template.
[ ] 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar.
[ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate.
[ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels.
[ N/A ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern).
[ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Status: Approved

Thanks again for submitting an article to the wiki! Time for some final steps for the reviewer...

[ ] 1. State clearly that the article is approved in the submission thread
[ ] 2. Move the wiki article to its permanent (destination) location on the wiki
[ ] 3. Move the submission thread to the Approved Submissions subforum or get a moderator to
[ ] 4. Edit the article to add a link to the approval thread in the OOC Notes section
[ ] 5. Link other articles to the approved article as appropriate (equipment lists, etc.)[/QUOTE]