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Approved Submission Vekimen Race

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Looks pretty good to me. There is a style issue that I noted on the page (look for the FIXME emoticon).

What's the RP plan for them?
 
Reynolds apparently has a thread they can be found in. Things will more than likely be very Political in the beginning as the Race tries to grow accustom to not being the only people in the Galaxy an such.
 
@Doshii Jun

This species has not been used anywhere else as it has been written. It is mine, and mine alone, and would appreciate if you did not confuse my love for Halo Lore with this being an import from a Halo Site.
 
My mistake, Edto. I apologize.

However, my other concerns remain. I must keep the submission on hold until Wes returns with a ruling.
 
Per Wes, we'll need to sort a few things out, as he's confirmed this submission will adhere to our rules.

1. Right now, you must wait three months before this submission can be reviewed. That amount of time is required before a submission of this magnitude can be accepted for review from a new player.

2. Do you plan to have this race be GM/NPCs only? If not, then you need to create a race-specific CCG.

3. Check out the other rules for race creation and submission as well.

Keep in mind, your personal character for this race is not stopped by the freezing of this submission. Nor does it stop you from working out the kinks of your race through Open RP, where they are now.

However, the other rules must be followed for them to "graduate" to the wider setting.

With that in mind, I'm moving this submission to "Rejected (On Hold)." After three months -- Apr. 4 -- it will be restored if the submitter still desires it.
 
@Doshii Jun

So I have gathered from what you keep posting, that something about the race does not quite meet your standards. If you could please elaborate on what it is I would be thankful as I see nothing rules wise I am doing wrong other than the 3 month rule, which I am currently abiding by. I cannot fix the problems you see if I do not know what they are.

Also, I do not see where I have implied that I believe Race Approval is a Right not a Privilege. Could you please explain your points on this as well.
 
Of course. My apologies.

First, see my No. 2. You need to decide how this race will be used in the setting. If it's going to be something for other players to use, you need to make a CCG. The Neshaten CCG is a good example.

Second, for the other rules:

The golden rule, as listed in the beginning, is that race approval is a privilege, not a right. I didn't mean to imply that you thought different, only reinforce the notion that just because you put effort into this species does not guarantee its approval. Not every new player understands this.

Next, you need to consider "GM-only" or "PC-available" for your race. That determines a lot. If you want other people to be able to access and proliferate your species submission, you need to find a co-GM who is willing to help you run a plot. You'll also need to decide how widely you want to expand their territory. Right now, your submission reads as having just the station, so you're fine there.

You've cleared the hurdles for art, and you're actively working on expanding the race submission from where it was when it was rejected. That's good! Keep going!

The venom doesn't bother me too much, though your survival percentages assume a typical human response. I guarantee those percentages won't carry throughout SARP. I suggest modifying them to speak to "a typical human response" or something similar.

You haven't really offended any of the noted cliches yet. For now, you need to keep building the race. I'd surely like to know more about their culture, as right now I get the impression they mine and fight their lives away, and little else.
 
@ Doshii Jun Thank you, I will work on fixing the noted issues as best I can.

However, in regards to their Culture, much of what happened before their whole race was on a space station to me personally wasn't really much more than fighting and mining. I can elaborate on that fact, but part of what I wanted to do was roleplay out the new developments in their culture, with Sentient Inputs other than themselves. Due to the length of time they have been trapped on their station without outside interaction only the bare basics of their Culture has remained intact, and even then much of it has been forced to change through survival necessity. I could try and elaborate on the refined culture within the three available clans if that would suffice the Culture requirement.

As for if I will be allowing other players to be able to make and use Vekimen, the decision is up in the air. Give that they are currently at such a low population and will have obvious issues within most if not all well-developed societies te chances of them becoming an open race in the near future are slim to none. I don't see the Vekimen being exactly popular with other players at this time, or even at the time of its hopeful approval so until the issue comes up, for the sake of administration it will be a closed species.
 
Righto. Closed species it is.

Expanding on the refined culture of what's available is good enough, especially if they remain closed. Technology can come later in a separate submission.

I ask you keep an open mind as you experience the setting, especially under Wes, who has grown several of the RP's top veterans. You're going to see quite a bit going through the RP. It might change how you view the race, and how you want to write it.
 
The three months is almost over so I'm declaring this species APPROVED with effective date of April 5, 2016.
 
Posting here to bring up the addition that made the Vekimen able to become effectively immortal. It seemed to be a cliffnote added in late November: Can anyone verify this was an approved change to the species? It never seemed implied when I read through them (especially due to their age range being 80-100 long before that cliffnote was added), so I'd like to see if this could be looked into.
 
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