I don't know anything about Children's Day in real life, so I'm not sure what Star Army Dot Com specific elements you've added, but it'd be cool to see more of those if possible. The mention of Tsubomi being a town with a lot of orphans is cool, for example. Even simple references about notable events that may have happened or always happens on Children's Day (such as during a war or work with Wes to come up with an explanation of how the government observes the holiday, if they do stuff like public official appearances and the like).
Was Children's Day in Yamatai established on a certain date for a certain reason? Maybe look at a few different real life festivals (Japanese and Nordic) for further inspiration; due to the nature of RP, including many holiday analogues isn't really feasible or desirable, so amalgamating several cultural sources of inspiration to make something uniquely Yamataian could be a cool thing for you to explore here.
Idk. It's probably approvable as-is. Always nice to kick it up a notch, though.