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Approved Character [YSS Aeon] Skirnir Josva

I am not actually sure we can fit a fighter in a Yui 7 along with a shuttle. The dimensions and description of what the Shuttle Bay can hold are somewhat unclear. If we can get that figured out, we might have a spot there.
 
The Yui-7 class has a compliment of 4 starfighters and 1 Kuma T8 shuttle, according to the wiki. So we could very well use a pilot around, I think.
 
I sent Nashoba a message to see about getting this all cleared up, so hopefully we will hear back from him soon. Everything else seems fine to me, except for perhaps his age. If you would like to go ahead and begin posting in the Open RP thread, you're more than welcome to, and we'll just make sure the details are hashed out before anything becomes official.
 
Ears should just be removed, assuming there isn't anything special to note, which is what it looks like.

The tattoo needs some serious clarification. First, "Nordic" doesn't really exist IC, so it's not a good descriptor to use. Second, Nordic covers a HUGE range of possible tattoos. Give us some details! If it's his most identifiable feature, make it truly stand out for us. We should be able to picture it in our heads clearly.

I'mma leave the history alone for the most part, since Reynolds and Nash are both okay with it from what I can tell, the one thing I noticed is the rugby reference. I'm honestly not sure if we have rugby in the setting period, especially in Yamatai, which is closer to Japan thematically, and probably wouldn't have a big demand for sports like rugby. @Nashoba , @Wes , what do you think on that one? Is Rugby a feasible sport for Yamataian schools?

If he grew up in Yamataian space, Yamataigo would be his first language, not Trade. Trade is the primary language of Nepleslia, and commonly used between factions, but internal to Yamatai, Yamataigo is used most often, so it just doesn't really jibe right that he's weak in it. You also need to include the rest of the boilerplate information for the communication skill, namely the pieces about paperwork, forms, and the like. Everything in the boilerplate is part of his basic training, EVERY member of the SAoY has those parts of the skill. This is the list of all of the boilerplate information.

Just a little nitpick, but the Math skill is required for all soldiers period, not just officers.

The Starship Operations skill should be titled "Starship Operations (Piloting)" if you want to specify which portion it is. The header text itself should always just be the overall skill name. You should also specify what percentile he finished in if it's a big deal for him, though that should be in the history section more than the skill. It's just a matter of the huge difference between finishing in the 5th percentile versus the 1st percentile. They have completely different implications, but both could be argued as the "top percentile" range. it's all a matter of judgement.

Where did he learn to drive ground vehicles? There's a lot of easy public transportation and shuttle use in Yamatai, and you didn't mention anything in your history, so I'm just curious. A short explanation added into the history somewhere would be all that's needed.

Kudos on including the Survival and Military skill. That's an aspect of being a pilot that a lot of people tend to forget, and a rather important one. I would remind you that most SAoY combat is space based though, so it might not be as applicable as it would for a modern pilot.

Overall, like the others said, very solid first character. Just a few little details that need ironing out.
 
Nashoba said:
The Yui-7 supposedly has 4 starfighters
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That needs to be updated. There's no way they could possibly fit inside the ship. You could attach one to the outside, though, via a docking port perhaps, or just tow it.

Is Rugby a feasible sport for Yamataian schools?
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Sure, why not. *shrug*
 
Wes said:
That needs to be updated. There's no way they could possibly fit inside the ship. You could attach one to the outside, though, via a docking port perhaps, or just tow it.
Click to expand...
Actually could you instead use the magnetized launch deck to hold one starfighter (Hayabusa V6C Starfighter or V8 "Kawarime" Fighter) in place and then launch it as needed? I assumed by the writeup that its possible, and is reminiscent of modern day light aircraft carriers. The single Kuma T8 should then fit in the shuttle bay proper.
 
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Sorry, seems like I missed a bit.

The body needs to be rephrased, there is no "Caucasian" in SARP, since the Caucasus Mountains, along with the rest of earth, were lost long ago. Just white is fine. It might not be a bad idea to find a reference image for the skin color to link to, just to make things easier.

On the eyes, do you mean they are two separate colors, that they change colors, or that they're blended colors?

Also, if you get a moment, copy/paste the history into M$Word and run the spellchecker on it for me. Spelling is actually okay, but that would catch a lot of the little grammar issues I'm seeing.

Same thing goes for the skills. Just need some commas in some places, little stuff like that.

Other than that, you're good to go. Feel free to get started in the plot while you make the last couple of tweaks, since they're nothing major. (I'd avoid mentioning the eyes until we've sorted things out though.)
 
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