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Approved Character [YSS Heartbreaker] Blesi Ingrid

This mostly looks good, just a few little things to fix.

  • Species, Occupation and Rank should all be links to their respective articles on the wiki.
  • She should have some sort of Distinguishing Feature, even if it's nothing major. A mole, a tattoo, a constant frown or smile, the way she carries herself, a lucky charm she's always fiddling with. Just a little something to help her stand out that extra bit.
  • I would like her Personality section to include a bit about her reaction to Star Army, since she wasn't born into it or expecting to enlist her entire life. Maybe how basic training or following all of the regulations has affected her.
  • Unless I'm reading something wrong, where we are is way, way, way far away from the Kikyo Sector. You might want to revise that sentence, or at least make it clear how far off that comment was.
  • If you could format the Inventory section a bit better, space it out a bit, more like the other Inventories you can see on most characters. You should also be able to find an actual brand of computer/tablet/etc. for her to use, so you can link to that wiki page.
  • I like everyone on the Heartbreaker to have a separate section/page for their personal Mindy, with their current layout listed. You can either take care of that now or be prepared to get it done before you use a Mindy in the RP, but I wanted to make you aware of it now. You can look at the main Heartbreaker page and some of the character's pages for examples.
I don't see any problems with the actual character idea or any noticeable grammar/spelling/formatting mistakes, so you should be good to go once you tidy things up a bit. Let me know and I'll take another look.
 
I happened to take another look and noticed you'd made most of those changes. I still saw the generic computer listed, so I swapped that out for two types of datapad. That should cover anything you need to do. As long as you are aware that you'll need to set up your Mindy once it is time to use it, we should be good.

So, this is APPROVED, if @Wes can move it to the proper area. I'll get you up on the proper page and introduced into the RP tonight. Feel free to go ahead and post in the OOC thread and say hi to everyone.
 
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