Wolfe Whitehorn
Member
Character Article URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=characters:yamatai:ioda_takeshi
Preferred Plot's GM: @Reynolds
Preferred Plot's GM: @Reynolds
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Rejected Character [YSS Heartbreaker] Takeshi Ioda
- Thread starter Wolfe Whitehorn
- Start date
Reynolds
Well-Known Member
- Make sure you put your measurements in both metric and, you know, real measurements.
- Minkans regenerate, so they wouldn't have scars. I believe the best you can do is get a tattoo, which would probably get you a lot of weird looks. Even then I think they regenerate the ink away pretty fast, and you need some sort of special tattoo...
- I am not so sure about the demotions for apparently disobeying orders to retrieve machinery. All together, he seems to be more of a technician character than straight infantry. How about this idea...he was accepted into SA as infantry, then after being disciplined a few times for his overprotectedness towards machines/technology he was transferred to a position as a technician? So he can have the soldier background, training and leanings, while being more free to fiddle with gadgets.
- Just in general need more to his personality and history.
- I don't think his parents would just be somewhere 'unknown' if they're in SA. They should either be listed as MIA or, if SA knows where they are but he doesn't, something like 'location and status classified'.
- Trade is the same language as Nepleslian.
- I know something is up with the 'Sciences - Weapon Systems' skill, but I'm not sure how to fix that title. Maybe next time I look at it I'll know what is off.
- I think Emergency should just be Technology Operation?
Also, I think his name needs to be formatted differently. I think we'd need a GM like @Nashoba or something to fix that, though.
Take another pass at it with that stuff in mind and see what you can do. I don't see any glaring issues really, just needs a bit of shoring up. You seem to still be actively working on it, so I'm not too worried.
Wolfe Whitehorn
Member
His tech-mindedness is actually an offshoot of myself, though played out a little more.
I was initially a Rifleman, but I was also the guy in my unit that everyone came to if something was wrong with their tech. I also looked into the weird stuff that was just rolling out to see how general folks could use it. I prefer front-line positions, but to be knowledgeable and able to use anything I find against my enemies.
The Parents, yeah, I wanted to do something more with them, but I wanted to contact Wes before I officially came to a point on them. I have some ideas, but I want a bit of information before I proceed on them. So MIA is actually best.
Should have checked up on the languages a bit more, did that while I was half-asleep before.
Emergency is actually listed under https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:skills:common
The demotion was more of a, punitive measure for misconduct, disobeying a direct order in his hopes to learn more about the tech/enemy.
The Scar, it is something he asks be designed into each body he takes on. As it would be a simple outer-layer adjustment, nothing that makes major alterations it shouldn't be a major issue. It is also something he expects people to stare at him odd about, but it's there for emotional reasons I should state that he was originally Nepleslian ( Family Chose to remain with Yamatai during the formation of the Treaty with Nepleslia ), I'm again working on this after shift and missing chunks of it. The scar at his throat is part of why he moved up to the Minkan Body.
/prefers Metric to Imperial measurements (Even though he's U.S.A. Native, they're just neater), but will put the equivalents since you kindly asked for it.
As to the format, it was formatted that way for my character Araan, who is part of the Aeon Crew.
Tomorrow after work, I work a shorter shift and get off earlier in the day, I'll get the rest of his information up to par.
I was initially a Rifleman, but I was also the guy in my unit that everyone came to if something was wrong with their tech. I also looked into the weird stuff that was just rolling out to see how general folks could use it. I prefer front-line positions, but to be knowledgeable and able to use anything I find against my enemies.
The Parents, yeah, I wanted to do something more with them, but I wanted to contact Wes before I officially came to a point on them. I have some ideas, but I want a bit of information before I proceed on them. So MIA is actually best.
Should have checked up on the languages a bit more, did that while I was half-asleep before.
Emergency is actually listed under https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=stararmy:skills:common
The demotion was more of a, punitive measure for misconduct, disobeying a direct order in his hopes to learn more about the tech/enemy.
The Scar, it is something he asks be designed into each body he takes on. As it would be a simple outer-layer adjustment, nothing that makes major alterations it shouldn't be a major issue. It is also something he expects people to stare at him odd about, but it's there for emotional reasons I should state that he was originally Nepleslian ( Family Chose to remain with Yamatai during the formation of the Treaty with Nepleslia ), I'm again working on this after shift and missing chunks of it. The scar at his throat is part of why he moved up to the Minkan Body.
/prefers Metric to Imperial measurements (Even though he's U.S.A. Native, they're just neater), but will put the equivalents since you kindly asked for it.
As to the format, it was formatted that way for my character Araan, who is part of the Aeon Crew.
Tomorrow after work, I work a shorter shift and get off earlier in the day, I'll get the rest of his information up to par.
Reynolds
Well-Known Member
I think you're looking at the wrong thing, Emergency is a 'task' right next to Equipment, which is definitely not a skill. This is the list of skills.
I'll take a look at the rest once you have another chance to spend some time with it, definitely.
I'll take a look at the rest once you have another chance to spend some time with it, definitely.
paladinrpg
Well-Known Member
Hey nice to see you are taking a stab at the character, Wolfe!
I would mention that Emergency is considered a "common task" skill as you posted, as in every soldier knows it by default (and I usually link to the common task page in every bio I do). But if you are saying he was actually Neon Green paneled Emergency Services personnel that's a bit different as that's an Occupation that is highly specialized (firefighter/paramedics) and should be noted with extra stuff he did. However, he seems to be more of a dabbler in tech the way you have written it, which would be more Maintenance and Repair skill (and possibly Engineering in weapon systems also).
I would mention that Emergency is considered a "common task" skill as you posted, as in every soldier knows it by default (and I usually link to the common task page in every bio I do). But if you are saying he was actually Neon Green paneled Emergency Services personnel that's a bit different as that's an Occupation that is highly specialized (firefighter/paramedics) and should be noted with extra stuff he did. However, he seems to be more of a dabbler in tech the way you have written it, which would be more Maintenance and Repair skill (and possibly Engineering in weapon systems also).
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Wolfe Whitehorn
Member
Yeah, two years away from SARP has set me back a bit. I'll get things up in short order. Thanks Paladin.
Aendri
Inactive Member
What's going on here, @Wolfe Nailo? Still working?
Wolfe Whitehorn
Member
Aendri
Inactive Member
@Wolfe Nailo, what's up, man? Still working up to it?
