Soban
Convention Veteran
- RP Date
- YE 45.8
- RP Location
- YSS Koun
YSS Koun, lounge
Washout, Aliset thought, laying on the couch as she considered what she had just posted. She had just dropped out of the prestigious Star Army Academy, citing her duty preventing her meeting attendance standards. She had had a choice, to leave the Koun or to leave the school. For her, the choice had been easy. Koun was her home. Her ship and crew needed her more than her school. She could earn the title of Captain again.
She had warranted under needs of the Army and spent years paying for it, taken years to make so many firsts for her species and military career. First Senti to join any army. First Senti telepath. First Senti soul transfer. First Senti combat pilot. And the first of her species to be a starship navigator.
She knew there were those of her species above her rank. Knew there were those with more medals, more honors. And she felt a certain pride in them. But the crew of the Koun, her fiance and daughter, they needed her more than a school did. And SAAMMS wasn't allowing online courses. So she had chosen to drop out, keep her position. Put her ship and crew above her career and attempt to transfer to Kyoto War College online. Sacre’s gonna be furious. Akino’s gonna be disappointed.
Alastair spit his coffee across the room when he read the memo. He blinked a few times as he read the punch lines. Aliset had withdrawn from SAAMMS. He slowly walked over to the Neko who happened to be the one that caught his coffee. He gave them a pat on the head and ordered them to get into clean clothes. He also commented on them making him more coffee. Back to the topic at hand, he now had a drop out on his ship. Though the reasoning was sound he no doubt wondered how Ali would take this change. He was on the other hand proud of her, for her to favor being active on the Koun over her career no doubt stood out to him.
Alastair stood in front of the room where Ali was staying. He felt compelled to at least speak with her. Though he had no doubt that Sacre would give her the love hate treatment. For him, this would be much of a simple talk. “Excuse me, Ali, may I come in?” He called out to her.
“Since when do you need to ask permission to enter the ship’s lounge, sir?” came the response, alongside a small laugh. “Not like I’m hiding from Sacre… yet.”
“Point taken, but given the news I figured I’d at least ask.” He said as he entered the lounge area. “Yeah, can’t say I blame you for wanting to dodge Sacre. She may not take the news very well.” He neared closer and sat across from where she lay. “So how you holding up?” He asked in a concerned voice. He slowly ran his fingers through his long hair.
“I wanted to finish at least my second year. Make an XO slot, at least,” the Senti shrugged, leaning up before shaking her hair out of its customary on duty braid. “But turns out SAAMMS is cancelling telepresence, which means I can either stop attending, or I can leave the Koun and study planetside for three years. Between being one of the most powerful Senti telepaths to ever live and being the best astronavigator in the battlegroup, you need me more than the school does, sir. The decision was easy. Dealing with an angry Separa wife? Not so much. Sacre’s gonna be furious. And I think Sayako’s still weighing the pros and cons. Wonder how Akino and the rest of the crew feel about it.”
She offered him a shrug and a small smile. “End of the day. Easier than leaving Shurista. I’m sure you saw that letter cross your desk.”
“Aye, this did seem like a more straightforward decision. Granted on the surface SAAMMS seems like the best move, that may not always be the case.” He reached up and rubbed his chin. “See, when you have the same elite pool together one ends up with the same outcome. Hardly a useful thing to have when your objective is to win. Sure, they pat each other on the back like they are doing something grand. Meanwhile, the real heroes are out there fighting the good fight.” He then pointed towards Ali. “If you ask me, when Hanako was talking about needing more good captains, she is going to be looking for people more like you.”
“Not… Not sure what you mean, sir,” Aliset admitted. Shaking off the image of chin rubs, she gave a sigh. She knew her questions seemed disjointed and stressed, and took a deep breath, considering how to reassemble her thoughts into something approachable. “Hanako wants warship captains. I suck at history, and you know it. I was a freighter captain warranted at needs of the Army. Made me a bomber pilot. Been working on that since. But you and I flew freight for about the same amount of time, and the same phases of our lives, if your file’s right. If you think she’s looking for folks like me, then… I dunno. I do my best.”
“Please, history is only useful for the nerds who read those books. We live in the now and move towards the future.” He took notice of her watching his hand rub his chin. He remembered either hearing about it or seeing it but knew Ali might find comfort from some chin rubs. He placed his hand out in front of her. “Want a rub, might help you feel better.” He commented with a wink as if he was dealing in drugs.
“Before I show you how to do that, know my species uses it as a gesture of calming affection. Like… I don’t know how to describe the sensation. I can’t move, but it’s okay? I get this rush of clear headedness and calm. Sacre’s used it to stop me in a panic.” She offered a smile, starting to lean close. “Or are you gonna do a more dealing with a Neko chin rub? Cause I’ve used that to put Akino in her seat.”
“This sounds handy. At least it will dull the pain once Sacre shows up to give you something to think about.” He said with a chuckle as he reached out and placed his hand under her chin.
Aliset seemed to melt into the chin rubs, a small smile forming on her lips before fading just as fast. “You said Hanako would be looking for people more like me. And yet, in some ways, I am responsible for every Senti that has died in service to the Star Army. I am responsible for Turassiel. If I hadn’t joined, they would never have made contact with Nepleslia, and their Skydasi cults wouldn’t have tried restoring their arsenal to defend the Flotilla when they sold out Turassiel to the Kuvexians. Millions died. If I hadn’t joined, Nic and thousands of others would still be alive. But they all followed me. And their steel is in Star Army equipment, now… I think. All of that death was because I saw Yamatai and the rest of the Kikyo Sector outside of the Flotillas as part of the community I had sworn to protect as a member of the Civil Service.”
Her hand moved up, starting to guide his fingers into position. “Pointer and middle at the point of the jaw, you’ll feel the divot. Ring and pinky press into my neck, there’s a large nerve right on the artery you want to push on. And then use your thumb to stroke my cheekbone. Am I really worthy of my own ship, or am I going to get that crew killed, too?”
Sacre slid furiously into the room, she only caught the last bit of the conversation. “I don’t know about your crew, but you definitely murdered your career.”
“The Koun goes on mission, I miss class, Sacre. They axed the telepresence program, so I’m finishing my candidacy at Kyoto.” Aliset pulled away from Alastair to look her love in the eye. “I know you don’t like it, but bear with me on this. It was my crew or my school, and I know it sounds stereotypical, but my crew and my ship will always be more important than a bunch of useless royals and senators’ kids.”
“Useless royals and senator’s kids with whom you will be competing for promotions with! SAAMMS is a tough school to pass, before it’s sixty percent of the class is gone. Getting your commission however is fine, but when someone gets their resume and yours their going to see that they could hack it with the best and you had to drop out. It’s better to have not tried than to have tried and failed.” Sacre responded.
“And for once, another can be the first, I’m cool with that. I get it, but I just got my transfer orders. If you think you can get them to reverse or deny my dropping out and the reasons I gave to my teachers and classmates, I invite you to try. There are more ways to be competitive than to go to some super prestigious school that’s gonna make me choose between my family and my career.” Aliset furrowed her brows, considering if this was a worthwhile fight for a moment. But if as a couple they would fight about nothing else, this was as worthy a cause as any, so Aliset stood, approaching. “Arctic Warfare. Ranger. Combat lifesaver. My rifle quals, some mentoring on power armor to boost my scores. Hundreds of qualifications and awards I can earn on merit and correspondence courses to maintain a competitive edge I don’t need some half baked hack teaching me nothing at some prestigious school for. Oh, yay, dropped out of SAAMMS. At least I didn’t fail, I left voluntarily after a passing first year. How many good commanders have you served under that washed out, dropped out, or straight up didn’t attend?”
“That’s not the point! Most officers are twits who couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel. Your not going for them, your going for you. It doesn’t matter what kind of officer that they make the flakiest of the upper crust, what matters is the officer it makes you. Being able to take advantage of the top instructors in the Empire isn’t something you just let go to waste.” Sacre responded forcefully even though she hadn’t raised her voice.
“I can get my second degree there. Later in my career. Hell, at some point I’d be surprised if you or I weren’t teaching there at some point! I can do nothing about it, now. You can be as mad as you want about it, but you’re more important to me than that damn school!”
“It’s not about me, it’s about being the best person for your crew for your ship. That means taking the most advantage about the opportunities you are given. Not tucking your tail and running because you might get homesick from being away for five seconds!”
“You think that some Shuristan cowardice is what this is about?! Some foolish homesickness? This ship needs me more than Suzuki can’t-math! I was offered a choice between being a year deep in a four year program and supporting my home and my crew while doing everything I need to do in two years. Again, if you feel you can do something about it, please do try.” Aliset felt her brow twitch as her blood pressure rose slightly, and she approached closer, knowing she was coming into Sacre’s striking range. A new scent started rolling off her, acrid and bitter like indignation, sour like when she had unleashed her rage and aggression on the bridge in the battle that had earned their strike group's cruiser. Alastair might recognize it, but her scents were always subtle. Perhaps not for Sacre, but human and Minkan senses weren’t as finely tuned, especially towards advanced pheromonal systems.
She swept a hand across her body, as though making a dividing line, beginning to gesticulate. “It was stay here or go live on campus for the next three years. Sorry if the choice is more obvious to me. And you think I’m gonna just abandon any chance to see our daughter or you without someone else’s permission for the next three years? Gonna abandon any chance to find Gravity, to find some way for me to… I don’t want Mari to be an only child. You want me to abandon all of that for a chance at an XO slot at needs of the army? Fuck that! I’m staying where I can do real good for the sector and the crew, face selection and subsequent command by a ship who selects me by name, under a command team that requests me by name, and a crew that knows me?”
“Not all chance, just for a time while you take advantage of a once in a lifetime opportunity to better yourself under the best the Empire has to offer. Just being in the Army you are doing what the empire needs, not whatever you like some lazy double-time-for-overtime sheep-y civilian.” Sacre said, jabbing a finger like a spear at Aliset.
“Lazy?! Really? How much extra duty do I pull, on top of school work, on top of doing my job. I work my ass off!” Aliset brushed the hand away, narrowing her eyes. “The best the Star Army can offer isn’t good enough, and more than that, I have no control over their asinine rules. So the plan I have already set in motion suits my needs better than the shadow of prestige ever could.”
“Fine.” Sacre said in the tone of cold anger that meant nothing was fine. She turned and stalked out of the room.
“We’ll discuss this later,” Aliset gave a deep sigh, letting herself cool down in that breath as she pressed a hand to her forehead. “Different species alone would make conflict, different histories… Frankly I’m amazed that was our first fight. And I bungled it.”
~~~
Aliset didn’t sleep in her room that night. After she completed her duties, she put on a suit and went outside, letting her magnetic boots hold her to the hull while she turned off her comms and inspected the hull to clear her mind. Not that that actually worked. Not that it ever had. Even scraping debris out of the expansion joints and touching up the paint didn’t stop her reliving every moment of the argument. She knew Sacre had listened to every word, never interrupted, but had she?
By the time she got inside, it was time to report for PT with Black Wolf before breakfast. She would swallow her emotions for now. Stay professional. Stay on the track that had been laid before her.
Sacre was perfectly professional when Aliset showed up for PT. Sacre had never been a particularly warm person, so it was hard to tell when she was giving a cold shoulder or just being her normal self. But she didn’t say anything except for what was needed for them to do the PT. It was almost as if Aliset were a complete stranger and not her beloved fiancee.
That was the part that bugged Aliset more than anything else, and she subconsciously lowered her head to push through the workout and avoid interaction the best she could. Her modified abilities could still leak her emotions to others, especially if she forgot to turn off her transceiver or accidentally turned it on with her checking. Not that she could really feel what Sacre was feeling. The second body had corrected the overpowering issue that had allowed some sense of her presence. It didn’t take long for Aliset to work up a sweat, the burnt metal smell indicating her stress far more than any telepathic ability getting through.
So as she finished, she slipped away to shower and hope that Sacre’s team didn’t yet know about the fight. Not that she had any reason to think word didn’t spread fast on an eighty person crew. Or that Alastair had been the only one to hear that.
Iomai slipped into the shower with Aliset, “So what’s it about?” She asked, slipping out of the workout clothes and starting the shower.
Turning with surprise and mocked visible confusion, Aliset threw her clothes to the side, starting her own shower as she set the temperature. Somewhere between boiling and surface of the sun hot. “What’s what about, Iomai? What was leaking?”
Iomai laughed, “Your psionics, I didn’t get any bleed over from whatever you two are going through right now. Your mental control is fine. I bet Sacre’s mental control was even better. You probably didn’t feel the slightest thing from her. You know Sacre’s Blazing Sun? I was with her for that. She was an emotional rock during that. She never seemed to be daunted or scared in what has to be the most tense moments of my life. I’ve since learned that’s not true, she was just as scared and worried as the rest of us. But she never let it show. I’ve been under her command off and on for a while now. She tries to be this emotional enigma wrapped in a mystery, but I’ve unraveled enough of it to know when she’s off, or mad, or whatever. She retreats inwards, closing herself off from other people. Today, you and her, she was closed up tighter than the empress’s treasure cabinet.”
“Ah. Yeah. First fight. School stuff.” Giving a shrug, Aliset considered her next words. “I’ve done some stupid stuff. Scared the Hell out of her a couple times. Never seen her mad. That scared me.”
“She’s an ice queen. It will be fine, people get over their first fight. My boyfriend and I have had plenty.” Iomai said. But over the next few days, it was hard to believe that. Sacre had all of the friendly personality towards Aliset that a flat granite mountain wall had towards a mountain climber. It was like all light had completely gone out of Sacre. She said nothing more than she absolutely had to when she did have to talk to Aliset. All of the things she did say were very formal, like she was reading out of a book on etiquette.
Those few days had Aliset far more stressed than she had ever been, but pushing through until it almost felt like something would snap. Like she could see her eyes beginning to darken like the first, or the second times she had rusted them out. Finally as she stood in the kitchenette of their shared room, she turned, her senses reaching out for the familiar serpentine figure that had become one of the most important things in her life. Whether to an empty room or to Sacre, she needed these words off her chest. “So are we done or do I just need to offer more time to cool off? Cause this is killing me. I know you can smell it on me. Everyone can. I know you know how much it hurts to see you so cold. So please. Did I finally do something so stupid that it broke us?”
Releasing her white knuckle grip on the counter, she finally let her head hang with her cracking voice and the oil spreading across her cheeks. “I can’t go to sick call. I just have to push through. Just… give me a few minutes and I’ll be okay.”
Sacre came into their shared cabin and she slid towards the table. “We should talk.” She said without preamble.
Aliset didn’t move, at first, but then backed up, falling into her bunk with a dull thud. “Sorry. I was leaking. I’ll be okay. But yeah. We should clarify.” There was a slowness to her voice, a deliberateness of words undiluted by accent as she reached for a rough paper towel to scrub the oily tears from her face.
“You know I think your making a stupid decision right?” Sacre said.
“I kinda guessed.”
Sacre took a deep breath. “I was thinking about, well, everything, and I realized I was behaving like my father. Trying to manipulate you into doing what I want more than you want. I don’t know if my father’s changed, I think perhaps he has. What I do know is that I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to try and control you with my emotions. It’s your decision to make, and I should be supporting you rather than trying to have things my way. I’m sorry. I can’t promise I won’t do it again because well, old habits die hard and freezing people out when I’m upset or emotional is a very old habit. What I can promise is that’s not the person I want to be and I will try to be better every day for you.”
That replayed in Aliset's mind a few times as she chewed on the words and meanings that she didn’t fully know if simply weren't there or she was still too new at the language. But without getting up, she took a deep breath and the words started flowing. “I love you. I didn’t think it would be easy. Between the cultural and the physical and both our traumas and upbringings. Loving you was never going to be a painless or easy experience. I’ll be right there with you. As long as you’ll have me. Cause it’s worth it. Even one smile is worth all of this. I know it was dumb of me to drop out and transfer. I wanted to stay. But I had to choose between my ship and my school. Also, you got a long way to go before you're as bad as your dad.”
Sacre nodded, slipping Aliset her hand with a smile. “I love you too.”
Washout, Aliset thought, laying on the couch as she considered what she had just posted. She had just dropped out of the prestigious Star Army Academy, citing her duty preventing her meeting attendance standards. She had had a choice, to leave the Koun or to leave the school. For her, the choice had been easy. Koun was her home. Her ship and crew needed her more than her school. She could earn the title of Captain again.
She had warranted under needs of the Army and spent years paying for it, taken years to make so many firsts for her species and military career. First Senti to join any army. First Senti telepath. First Senti soul transfer. First Senti combat pilot. And the first of her species to be a starship navigator.
She knew there were those of her species above her rank. Knew there were those with more medals, more honors. And she felt a certain pride in them. But the crew of the Koun, her fiance and daughter, they needed her more than a school did. And SAAMMS wasn't allowing online courses. So she had chosen to drop out, keep her position. Put her ship and crew above her career and attempt to transfer to Kyoto War College online. Sacre’s gonna be furious. Akino’s gonna be disappointed.
Alastair spit his coffee across the room when he read the memo. He blinked a few times as he read the punch lines. Aliset had withdrawn from SAAMMS. He slowly walked over to the Neko who happened to be the one that caught his coffee. He gave them a pat on the head and ordered them to get into clean clothes. He also commented on them making him more coffee. Back to the topic at hand, he now had a drop out on his ship. Though the reasoning was sound he no doubt wondered how Ali would take this change. He was on the other hand proud of her, for her to favor being active on the Koun over her career no doubt stood out to him.
Alastair stood in front of the room where Ali was staying. He felt compelled to at least speak with her. Though he had no doubt that Sacre would give her the love hate treatment. For him, this would be much of a simple talk. “Excuse me, Ali, may I come in?” He called out to her.
“Since when do you need to ask permission to enter the ship’s lounge, sir?” came the response, alongside a small laugh. “Not like I’m hiding from Sacre… yet.”
“Point taken, but given the news I figured I’d at least ask.” He said as he entered the lounge area. “Yeah, can’t say I blame you for wanting to dodge Sacre. She may not take the news very well.” He neared closer and sat across from where she lay. “So how you holding up?” He asked in a concerned voice. He slowly ran his fingers through his long hair.
“I wanted to finish at least my second year. Make an XO slot, at least,” the Senti shrugged, leaning up before shaking her hair out of its customary on duty braid. “But turns out SAAMMS is cancelling telepresence, which means I can either stop attending, or I can leave the Koun and study planetside for three years. Between being one of the most powerful Senti telepaths to ever live and being the best astronavigator in the battlegroup, you need me more than the school does, sir. The decision was easy. Dealing with an angry Separa wife? Not so much. Sacre’s gonna be furious. And I think Sayako’s still weighing the pros and cons. Wonder how Akino and the rest of the crew feel about it.”
She offered him a shrug and a small smile. “End of the day. Easier than leaving Shurista. I’m sure you saw that letter cross your desk.”
“Aye, this did seem like a more straightforward decision. Granted on the surface SAAMMS seems like the best move, that may not always be the case.” He reached up and rubbed his chin. “See, when you have the same elite pool together one ends up with the same outcome. Hardly a useful thing to have when your objective is to win. Sure, they pat each other on the back like they are doing something grand. Meanwhile, the real heroes are out there fighting the good fight.” He then pointed towards Ali. “If you ask me, when Hanako was talking about needing more good captains, she is going to be looking for people more like you.”
“Not… Not sure what you mean, sir,” Aliset admitted. Shaking off the image of chin rubs, she gave a sigh. She knew her questions seemed disjointed and stressed, and took a deep breath, considering how to reassemble her thoughts into something approachable. “Hanako wants warship captains. I suck at history, and you know it. I was a freighter captain warranted at needs of the Army. Made me a bomber pilot. Been working on that since. But you and I flew freight for about the same amount of time, and the same phases of our lives, if your file’s right. If you think she’s looking for folks like me, then… I dunno. I do my best.”
“Please, history is only useful for the nerds who read those books. We live in the now and move towards the future.” He took notice of her watching his hand rub his chin. He remembered either hearing about it or seeing it but knew Ali might find comfort from some chin rubs. He placed his hand out in front of her. “Want a rub, might help you feel better.” He commented with a wink as if he was dealing in drugs.
“Before I show you how to do that, know my species uses it as a gesture of calming affection. Like… I don’t know how to describe the sensation. I can’t move, but it’s okay? I get this rush of clear headedness and calm. Sacre’s used it to stop me in a panic.” She offered a smile, starting to lean close. “Or are you gonna do a more dealing with a Neko chin rub? Cause I’ve used that to put Akino in her seat.”
“This sounds handy. At least it will dull the pain once Sacre shows up to give you something to think about.” He said with a chuckle as he reached out and placed his hand under her chin.
Aliset seemed to melt into the chin rubs, a small smile forming on her lips before fading just as fast. “You said Hanako would be looking for people more like me. And yet, in some ways, I am responsible for every Senti that has died in service to the Star Army. I am responsible for Turassiel. If I hadn’t joined, they would never have made contact with Nepleslia, and their Skydasi cults wouldn’t have tried restoring their arsenal to defend the Flotilla when they sold out Turassiel to the Kuvexians. Millions died. If I hadn’t joined, Nic and thousands of others would still be alive. But they all followed me. And their steel is in Star Army equipment, now… I think. All of that death was because I saw Yamatai and the rest of the Kikyo Sector outside of the Flotillas as part of the community I had sworn to protect as a member of the Civil Service.”
Her hand moved up, starting to guide his fingers into position. “Pointer and middle at the point of the jaw, you’ll feel the divot. Ring and pinky press into my neck, there’s a large nerve right on the artery you want to push on. And then use your thumb to stroke my cheekbone. Am I really worthy of my own ship, or am I going to get that crew killed, too?”
Sacre slid furiously into the room, she only caught the last bit of the conversation. “I don’t know about your crew, but you definitely murdered your career.”
“The Koun goes on mission, I miss class, Sacre. They axed the telepresence program, so I’m finishing my candidacy at Kyoto.” Aliset pulled away from Alastair to look her love in the eye. “I know you don’t like it, but bear with me on this. It was my crew or my school, and I know it sounds stereotypical, but my crew and my ship will always be more important than a bunch of useless royals and senators’ kids.”
“Useless royals and senator’s kids with whom you will be competing for promotions with! SAAMMS is a tough school to pass, before it’s sixty percent of the class is gone. Getting your commission however is fine, but when someone gets their resume and yours their going to see that they could hack it with the best and you had to drop out. It’s better to have not tried than to have tried and failed.” Sacre responded.
“And for once, another can be the first, I’m cool with that. I get it, but I just got my transfer orders. If you think you can get them to reverse or deny my dropping out and the reasons I gave to my teachers and classmates, I invite you to try. There are more ways to be competitive than to go to some super prestigious school that’s gonna make me choose between my family and my career.” Aliset furrowed her brows, considering if this was a worthwhile fight for a moment. But if as a couple they would fight about nothing else, this was as worthy a cause as any, so Aliset stood, approaching. “Arctic Warfare. Ranger. Combat lifesaver. My rifle quals, some mentoring on power armor to boost my scores. Hundreds of qualifications and awards I can earn on merit and correspondence courses to maintain a competitive edge I don’t need some half baked hack teaching me nothing at some prestigious school for. Oh, yay, dropped out of SAAMMS. At least I didn’t fail, I left voluntarily after a passing first year. How many good commanders have you served under that washed out, dropped out, or straight up didn’t attend?”
“That’s not the point! Most officers are twits who couldn’t pour water out of a boot if the instructions were printed on the heel. Your not going for them, your going for you. It doesn’t matter what kind of officer that they make the flakiest of the upper crust, what matters is the officer it makes you. Being able to take advantage of the top instructors in the Empire isn’t something you just let go to waste.” Sacre responded forcefully even though she hadn’t raised her voice.
“I can get my second degree there. Later in my career. Hell, at some point I’d be surprised if you or I weren’t teaching there at some point! I can do nothing about it, now. You can be as mad as you want about it, but you’re more important to me than that damn school!”
“It’s not about me, it’s about being the best person for your crew for your ship. That means taking the most advantage about the opportunities you are given. Not tucking your tail and running because you might get homesick from being away for five seconds!”
“You think that some Shuristan cowardice is what this is about?! Some foolish homesickness? This ship needs me more than Suzuki can’t-math! I was offered a choice between being a year deep in a four year program and supporting my home and my crew while doing everything I need to do in two years. Again, if you feel you can do something about it, please do try.” Aliset felt her brow twitch as her blood pressure rose slightly, and she approached closer, knowing she was coming into Sacre’s striking range. A new scent started rolling off her, acrid and bitter like indignation, sour like when she had unleashed her rage and aggression on the bridge in the battle that had earned their strike group's cruiser. Alastair might recognize it, but her scents were always subtle. Perhaps not for Sacre, but human and Minkan senses weren’t as finely tuned, especially towards advanced pheromonal systems.
She swept a hand across her body, as though making a dividing line, beginning to gesticulate. “It was stay here or go live on campus for the next three years. Sorry if the choice is more obvious to me. And you think I’m gonna just abandon any chance to see our daughter or you without someone else’s permission for the next three years? Gonna abandon any chance to find Gravity, to find some way for me to… I don’t want Mari to be an only child. You want me to abandon all of that for a chance at an XO slot at needs of the army? Fuck that! I’m staying where I can do real good for the sector and the crew, face selection and subsequent command by a ship who selects me by name, under a command team that requests me by name, and a crew that knows me?”
“Not all chance, just for a time while you take advantage of a once in a lifetime opportunity to better yourself under the best the Empire has to offer. Just being in the Army you are doing what the empire needs, not whatever you like some lazy double-time-for-overtime sheep-y civilian.” Sacre said, jabbing a finger like a spear at Aliset.
“Lazy?! Really? How much extra duty do I pull, on top of school work, on top of doing my job. I work my ass off!” Aliset brushed the hand away, narrowing her eyes. “The best the Star Army can offer isn’t good enough, and more than that, I have no control over their asinine rules. So the plan I have already set in motion suits my needs better than the shadow of prestige ever could.”
“Fine.” Sacre said in the tone of cold anger that meant nothing was fine. She turned and stalked out of the room.
“We’ll discuss this later,” Aliset gave a deep sigh, letting herself cool down in that breath as she pressed a hand to her forehead. “Different species alone would make conflict, different histories… Frankly I’m amazed that was our first fight. And I bungled it.”
~~~
Aliset didn’t sleep in her room that night. After she completed her duties, she put on a suit and went outside, letting her magnetic boots hold her to the hull while she turned off her comms and inspected the hull to clear her mind. Not that that actually worked. Not that it ever had. Even scraping debris out of the expansion joints and touching up the paint didn’t stop her reliving every moment of the argument. She knew Sacre had listened to every word, never interrupted, but had she?
By the time she got inside, it was time to report for PT with Black Wolf before breakfast. She would swallow her emotions for now. Stay professional. Stay on the track that had been laid before her.
Sacre was perfectly professional when Aliset showed up for PT. Sacre had never been a particularly warm person, so it was hard to tell when she was giving a cold shoulder or just being her normal self. But she didn’t say anything except for what was needed for them to do the PT. It was almost as if Aliset were a complete stranger and not her beloved fiancee.
That was the part that bugged Aliset more than anything else, and she subconsciously lowered her head to push through the workout and avoid interaction the best she could. Her modified abilities could still leak her emotions to others, especially if she forgot to turn off her transceiver or accidentally turned it on with her checking. Not that she could really feel what Sacre was feeling. The second body had corrected the overpowering issue that had allowed some sense of her presence. It didn’t take long for Aliset to work up a sweat, the burnt metal smell indicating her stress far more than any telepathic ability getting through.
So as she finished, she slipped away to shower and hope that Sacre’s team didn’t yet know about the fight. Not that she had any reason to think word didn’t spread fast on an eighty person crew. Or that Alastair had been the only one to hear that.
Iomai slipped into the shower with Aliset, “So what’s it about?” She asked, slipping out of the workout clothes and starting the shower.
Turning with surprise and mocked visible confusion, Aliset threw her clothes to the side, starting her own shower as she set the temperature. Somewhere between boiling and surface of the sun hot. “What’s what about, Iomai? What was leaking?”
Iomai laughed, “Your psionics, I didn’t get any bleed over from whatever you two are going through right now. Your mental control is fine. I bet Sacre’s mental control was even better. You probably didn’t feel the slightest thing from her. You know Sacre’s Blazing Sun? I was with her for that. She was an emotional rock during that. She never seemed to be daunted or scared in what has to be the most tense moments of my life. I’ve since learned that’s not true, she was just as scared and worried as the rest of us. But she never let it show. I’ve been under her command off and on for a while now. She tries to be this emotional enigma wrapped in a mystery, but I’ve unraveled enough of it to know when she’s off, or mad, or whatever. She retreats inwards, closing herself off from other people. Today, you and her, she was closed up tighter than the empress’s treasure cabinet.”
“Ah. Yeah. First fight. School stuff.” Giving a shrug, Aliset considered her next words. “I’ve done some stupid stuff. Scared the Hell out of her a couple times. Never seen her mad. That scared me.”
“She’s an ice queen. It will be fine, people get over their first fight. My boyfriend and I have had plenty.” Iomai said. But over the next few days, it was hard to believe that. Sacre had all of the friendly personality towards Aliset that a flat granite mountain wall had towards a mountain climber. It was like all light had completely gone out of Sacre. She said nothing more than she absolutely had to when she did have to talk to Aliset. All of the things she did say were very formal, like she was reading out of a book on etiquette.
Those few days had Aliset far more stressed than she had ever been, but pushing through until it almost felt like something would snap. Like she could see her eyes beginning to darken like the first, or the second times she had rusted them out. Finally as she stood in the kitchenette of their shared room, she turned, her senses reaching out for the familiar serpentine figure that had become one of the most important things in her life. Whether to an empty room or to Sacre, she needed these words off her chest. “So are we done or do I just need to offer more time to cool off? Cause this is killing me. I know you can smell it on me. Everyone can. I know you know how much it hurts to see you so cold. So please. Did I finally do something so stupid that it broke us?”
Releasing her white knuckle grip on the counter, she finally let her head hang with her cracking voice and the oil spreading across her cheeks. “I can’t go to sick call. I just have to push through. Just… give me a few minutes and I’ll be okay.”
Sacre came into their shared cabin and she slid towards the table. “We should talk.” She said without preamble.
Aliset didn’t move, at first, but then backed up, falling into her bunk with a dull thud. “Sorry. I was leaking. I’ll be okay. But yeah. We should clarify.” There was a slowness to her voice, a deliberateness of words undiluted by accent as she reached for a rough paper towel to scrub the oily tears from her face.
“You know I think your making a stupid decision right?” Sacre said.
“I kinda guessed.”
Sacre took a deep breath. “I was thinking about, well, everything, and I realized I was behaving like my father. Trying to manipulate you into doing what I want more than you want. I don’t know if my father’s changed, I think perhaps he has. What I do know is that I don’t want to be that person. I don’t want to try and control you with my emotions. It’s your decision to make, and I should be supporting you rather than trying to have things my way. I’m sorry. I can’t promise I won’t do it again because well, old habits die hard and freezing people out when I’m upset or emotional is a very old habit. What I can promise is that’s not the person I want to be and I will try to be better every day for you.”
That replayed in Aliset's mind a few times as she chewed on the words and meanings that she didn’t fully know if simply weren't there or she was still too new at the language. But without getting up, she took a deep breath and the words started flowing. “I love you. I didn’t think it would be easy. Between the cultural and the physical and both our traumas and upbringings. Loving you was never going to be a painless or easy experience. I’ll be right there with you. As long as you’ll have me. Cause it’s worth it. Even one smile is worth all of this. I know it was dumb of me to drop out and transfer. I wanted to stay. But I had to choose between my ship and my school. Also, you got a long way to go before you're as bad as your dad.”
Sacre nodded, slipping Aliset her hand with a smile. “I love you too.”
