Mostly good, just need to get a few things tidied up or clarified.
Make sure you use the proper
Skill Areas for all your Skills. All the descriptions are fine, just give them the standard names. I'll go ahead and say that listing your Martial Art as a skill instead of just putting it under Fighting is fine, if you want, since it's a big part of this plot.
If you want to make up your own Martial Art, can we get a bit more info on it? Is it only popular on Yamatai, maybe in a specific region? Is another Sora-Mai sub-style? Or sub-sub-style? Does it focus on punches, elbows, knees, kicks, etc.? How did she run into it, and why would she pick it over SACQC or some other, more traditional SAoY style?
Was she attending
Officer School or another sort of training school? Maybe
@Ametheliana can help out with this one.
Also maybe adjust the Connections section to clarify that she was never particularly close to anyone, or didn't make friends easily, instead of just not meeting anyone.
I went ahead and fixed your starting money. And copied Ryu's table in there (and on Keiko's page too).
Just post here again when that's all fixed, or feel free to ask if something I said didn't make sense. Thanks!