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Greetings and welcome to SARP, I am the Faction Manager of the Abwehran Star Empire and Game Master of the 69th Paramilitary Squad. Thank you for taking an interest in the Abwehrans species.
I've noticed that your list of preferred plots includes the Bounty Hunter Series, the LSDF Akahar, and the NSV Gam'trosha. The Gam'trosha is a plot run by Kalshion and is from a species that has currently not made first contact with any other faction in SARP, so it might not be a viable options unless Kalshion decides to make an exception. The LSDF Akahar is a Lorath Matriarchy vessel and hasn't made any treaties or alliances that would allow an active military person from the Abwehran Armed Forces onto it, though again --- Luca might have ideas on how it could fly. The Bounty Hunter Series is a plot run by Foxtrot813 and it would be the easiest plot for a Field Agent to enter, though I would speak to him for ideas.
I would love another character for the 69th Paramilitary Squad, which is currently the only Abwehran faction plot available. However, it is currently closed while I renovate the Abwehran Character Creation Guide.
Now for the Character:
- Nachrichtendienst - I normally prefer to have Nachrichtendienst Agents (the Intelligence Branch of the Abwehran Armed Forces) played by experienced writers of SARP. However, I'm willing to waive it.
- Abwehrans and Cybernetics - Abwehrans have a great deal of difficulty with cybernetics due to their resilient immune system (which attacks foreign particles rather viciously). In order for Abwehrans to have implants/cybernetics, they must take an immune-suppressant. This dulls the immune system and causes Abwehrans to be more susceptible to illnesses. It would definite make interacting with the character interesting and would add to your characters depth if you mentioned it.
- Wheelchair Bound - This is, by far, the biggest issue I have with the character. To be wheelchair bound while actively in the military is something that doesn't happen in real life. Even with four arms, an Abwehran would be a liability in combat if his legs did not work. In the case of the Nachrichtendienst, they might employ Agents that have been immobilized as Analysts if they have the capability for it. He could be ex-Nachrichtendienst or even a civilian, but not active military.
- Background - Why would seeing his family induce a coma? How did he get so badly injured? How was his childhood and his military training? These things could be fleshed out.
- Skills - Starting every boilerplate with "This is from" seems a bit much and some variation in wording would go a long way. Many of these don't describe the level of ability he has in these skills. You might also want to replace the word 'Rouge' with 'Rogue'.
Over all, the character needs some work and Game Masters need to be consulted. But if you put a bit of effort into it, this could be a good character.
- Formatting - When linking the Nachrichtendienst article to your character sheet, I would suggest using [[abwehran star empire:military:nch:nachrichtendienst]] as the wiki code.
Some suggested reading material:
There are still some formatting issues:
Also, have you contacted the GMs of your preferred plots? It's quite important that you find out if there is an availability before going further. One method of contact is via Private Message the forum has (or Conversations). Another is checking to see if they are in the IRC chat, which can be accessed from the chat tab.
- Probably a good idea to divide that history up into paragraphs for ease of reading
- Equipment list needs some wiki coding, please see the following link for wiki syntax https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wiki:syntax
Hi, Agustni, I'm Foxtrot 813 and I'm the GM of Bounty Hunts. I should probably look at this subforum more frequently, as I only look at it when someone who's interested in joining my plot tells me through the IRC or the PM.
That said, I'm also sorry to tell you that Bounty Hunts is currently full with six players, plus me and my Co-GM, taking it to a total of eight; Sorry that you put all that effort in the character and have to be told that, but I had received no early warning that you wished to join the plot.
If you still want to join BH, I would suggest waiting for the current arc to end, but that's really your call.[/