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Approved Submission [Galactic Horizon] Recoil Compensating Revolver + ammo + scope

SirSkully

SirSkully

Well-Known Member
Submission URL
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=corp:galactic_horizon:gh-w2-5b_7.7x30mm_recoil_compensating_revolver
List Any Unapproved Sub-Articles
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=wip:corp:galactic_horizon:7.7x30mm
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=wip:corp:galactic_horizon:gh-m10-4j

https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=corp:galactic_horizon:7.7x30mm
https://stararmy.com/wiki/doku.php?id=corp:galactic_horizon:gh-m10-4j
Submission Faction(s)
  1. Neshaten
Submission Terms
  1. I agree
@club24 bullying you for approval

Also, I think this is the first scope on the wiki to have its own article... not sure if I should feel proud or ashamed
 
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Dunno how your edits are going but concept approved, someone correct me if it’s wrong but I believe we’re just meant to list the dr as the maximum dr it can use now?

I might be confusing it with shields but thought I’d mention it in case.
 
Okay never mind about that proposed change, this thing already has enough sub articles so I'll submit it in something else - this is ready for review ^^
 
Okay so on the weapon and the bullets I fixed some minor spelling and grammar things. However on the scope, between "Function and Design" and "Appearance" you just have run on sentences that are hard to pace when reading. Grammar isn't my strong point, so I can't easily fix them without changing the wording, so I'd like you to see if you can. A general tip is if you can't say the whole sentence in one light breath it's probably too long.

Another thing is that there is redundant information in the appearance section from the F&D section. (This is for the scope as well)
 
The last sentence of the first paragraph under "Function and Design" should probably be broken into two sentences, it's still a bit runny. And the first sentence of the first paragraph under "Function and Design" and First sentence of "Appearance" have repeated information.
 
Modified the safety section though one of these has not been used in RP yet so it should be no issue, still noting it however.
 
Based on some conversation I had in discord I made the subsonic variant Tier 2 like its supersonic sibling but also made the bullet out of Heavier skusten to explain why it does roughly the same kind of damage, nothing else was changed about the ammo - just noting this down here for the sake of people not thinking I am trying to sneak it past anyone ^^
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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