RP: YSS Miharu Prologue, Day 3

[Rabbit Eclair]

Tomi rose and made her way out of the sensor dome after giving the Taii a perfunctory bow. At first she was going to go settle into the medical lab- but that could wait. She really didn't feel like being alone just now. After quickly traversing the long corridor that ran down the length of the ship, she entered the wardroom and flopped down on a couch, staring at the ceiling in contemplation.

The revelations themselves hadn't been particularly shocking to her- having never faced the Mishhu in combat, she had no real hatred of them, other than having heard of the massive numbers of casualties in battles against them. As for the nekos who were willing to fight the empire... she reached up, idly rubbing one of her catlike ears- the only physical feature she'd kept the same when she'd switched from her NH-17 body. She knew all too well what it was like to be treated as less than human, and the drive toward recognition that came with it. Despite the possibility that she'd face the faction in combat, she couldn't help but sympathize with them.

What worried her was the danger of the mission itself. From the sounds of it, they were going deep into unfriendly territory- and she couldn't really pretend that the Mishhu wouldn't know what a soul savior pod was. For the first time in her brief life, she was putting herself in a situation with a very real chance of death.

But, she sat upright, stretching, there's not much I can do about that, now is there? Rather than dwell on my eventually inevitable demise, it might be a better use of time to find ways to delay it for a bit. "Miharu, could you upload all available files on Mishhuvurthyar biology to my secondary memory?"

Let's see what makes these bastards tick...

 

[Tom]

ON:

"Freeman-Heisho is located in the kitchen," the MEGAMI replied. "He is currently sitting on a counter, reading."

Tom was doing just as the MEGAMI had said: reading a delightful little cookbook entailing a wide variety of Yamataian recipies. With a thoughtful humm, he turned the page of the pocket-sized digest.

Yukari nodded, sniffing a little. She rubbed at her eyes and looked at her arm, which did not look well enough to show. "Shimatta," she swore through the quickly-drying tears. She removed the top half of her uniform gently, not minding the blood for now. She then asked the nodal system for a wrapping bandage. She put it around her arm, wrapped it tight and then put on her other uniform top, which had sleeves. After she put her hair together in a bun again -- it had come out -- she went to the kitchen. Her eyes were still a little red.

The Yamataian was seated on the metallic counter in the kitchen, one leg crossed over his other, which carelessly dangled over the side. He heard movement in the kitchen and looked up. "Hm? Who's there?"

Yukari nearly crashed over herself, but recovered without grace. "Ah! Just me!" she said in a slightly high-pitched voice.

"Oh! To what do I owe the honor of this visit?" Tom hopped off the counter, and walked to the door where he bowed deeply to Yukari. "W-watch yourself, ma'am. The floor can be a bit slick at times."

The smile on Yukari's face was somewhere between saccharine and immense pain. I am forever an idiot, she thought. "Ah, oh, nothing, to be honest, I was simply ... wandering." The last word came out as if she had just capitulated a long battle.

Tom had noticed Yukari's red eyes, sensing something was not completely right, but he smiled widely and stepped to the side, motioning with broad sweeping strokes into the kitchen. "Well then, my dear wanderer, I can provide some simple lodging... for a minimal price, that is!" He grinned.

"Thank you, dear innkeeper." Yukari's smile brightened some as she went inside and found a seat at the serving area. "What is it you are reading?"

"Oh, just a cookbook," Tom said, reaching to the counter and grabbing it. "Our leader did say something about me needing to think about dinner."

"Dinner." Yukari oddly did not feel as hungry as she thought she would be. Her body was more efficient, it seemed. "Do you, have something planned?" The little hiccup was from her sobbing.

"Careful there, ma'am," Tom chided her playfully. "Too much drinking before alcohol will ruin dinner. But seriously, I'm probably just going to make something basic, fish-based probably. Maybe some grilled tuna steaks."

Yukari blinked. "Ah, of course. Yes." What did he mean? 'Drinking before alcohol?' "Fish is always very good."

"Did you have any preference for your dinner, ma'am? I can make just about anything you'd like, or at least try to, that is." Tom rested the book on the counter and gave Yukari his trademark thumbs up. "Cook level up!"

A giggle escaped Yukari's lips despite her mood. "You must cook something very good, or you will not gain more experience points," she said chidingly.

"Hm!" Tom quickly reached into a nearby drawer, where he grabbed the first thing he could get a grip on: in this case, a plastic ladle. He held it like a sword. "So be it! I accept the challenge!â€

 

[Nyton]

After having excused himself so that Masako could get on with her work managing the Armor wing and the reminder that she could ask him for any help or guidance anytime she like, Nyton began to walk back to his quarters. While he strode quickly he did not hurry but he did speak to the Miharu as he walked.

"Miharu, I want every single file you can access regarding the subjects Eve, Naraku and Black Spiral. Everything down to the smallest blurb whether it is relevant or not. I want everything from SAINT, the military, civilian, mercenary, Yamatai, Nepleslia, PNUgen especially. Questionable sources and urban legends even. I also want every cross reference you can find regarding people they have encountered, living and deceased. I don't care how brief the encounter or significance. Don't worry about editing or cutting things down, just bring it all to my room where I can begin to sift through it myself. I want a three dimensional holographic model of Eve and Naraku made so that I may become familiar with their appearance. I also want a stand up star map set up on the wall so I can begin charting out all Black Spiral activity both confirmed and unconfirmed."

Nyton paused for a moment and even stopped walking as he did so. He tried to think of anything else he might require. "Also, if this is possible, after you procure this data I want you to delete the record of all this information being requested. If you can only delete some try to prioritize them according to how often they are accessed. Stuff that is accessed daily might not be a big issue. If that record can't be deleted then maybe delete the record of who accessed them. Or if not that then maybe reroute the record of who accessed it by using proxies so that any trail would be scattered. If the enemy is truly using the PANTHEON system against us then I would not like for them to know we are pursuing this avenue."

Already in his thinking pose, Nyton wondered if he was being too paranoid. He shook his head and clenched his fist. This is all out war. I cannot hold back any quarter. Too much is at stake here.

"This may take you some time, Miharu but I thank you for your work. While you gather all that could you please direct me to where Veressis is located currently. Also please leave a non-urgent note for Taii Kotori that I wish to schedule a time to meet and discuss a few things with her at her convenience. Leave another non-urgent note for Mizuho to have her notify me if she wants to go over anything." he said.

I'm already so busy and this is just my first day. Then again saving an Empire is never a simple chore now, is it? Nyton mused as he waited for Miharu to direct him to Leutre.

 

[Fred]

"I will have an information package ready for you in your quarters." Miharu replied to Nyton. "I believe I can gain access to many of the topics you referenced me to, though it will take some time to filter pertinent topics from the rest. Veracity of some of the data retrieved could also be in doubt."

There was a pause from the computer. "Ketsurui-Taii is currently in the sensor dome and is available. Do you wish to postpone talks with Veressis-Hei to converse with her?"

 

[Nyton]

Nyton looked down one hall and then the other. "I suppose Veressis can wait. Yes, before the Taii becomes otherwise occupied I would like to confer with her now if she is available." Nyton replied.

 

[Fred]

"Acknowledged." The ship replied. Not too long after, one of the portals leading into the science lab parted to allow the Taii passage through.

"Come along," the golden-eyed neko asked the nepleslian in passing, the shadow of a smile on her lips. "I have an office now. Might as well make use of it."

 

[Strangelove]

Eyes closed, Leture sat down on the hard floor of the engineering bay. Around him the loud hum of machinery resonated drowning out his deep breathing. To some it might be irritating, but not to him. He loved machinery. It was honest. If something wasn't right with a machine, you could just take it apart, locate the problem, and fix it. Systems did their best without any doubt, fear, despair, or hesitation.

Then there were people. If there was a problem you couldn't scan them, you couldn't take them apart. You couldn't even ask them half the time out of the worry that you might offend them. Even if you did, you could never be sure that they weren't misleading you out of embarrassment, fear, or protocol.

Leutre took another deep breath and let another wave of stress flow out of him. People were unpredictable, dishonest, emotional. So bloody frustrating. 'Follow protocol! Keep your thoughts to yourself! Don't blow those up! Buttons aren't toys! Oooh, sometimes I just get the urge to take my plasma cutter, find someone particularly irritating and-- No!' He violently shook his head as he halted his line of thought. 'Da was right about sending me here. I really need to learn how to get along with others.' With that in mind, he redoubled his efforts to meditate and once again cleared his head of further thoughts.

 

[Fred]

ON: YSS Miharu, Kotori's Suite

Nyton entered Kotori's office and took stock of the circumstances. "Very convenient." he replied casually. "Yes I had something I wished to discuss in private Taii. I suppose having an office is helpful."

Kotori smiled back and walked around the desk on one side of her suite and then sat in the easy chair, gingerly testing the cushions before she decided they were comfortable enough and allowed herself to relax. Rufus would be so totally jealous.

Resisting the urge to smile, she gestured Nyton to one of the two seats, similarly plush, though lacking her own seat's armrests. "Please sit."

Nyton nodded and advanced to the chair. He paused at the seat and looked straight into Kotori's eyes. "Your highness, what I wish to discuss is very sensitive. I need to know if you trust me with the request I am about to make."

"You do have my professional trust. I wouldn't have had revealed nearly so much if I didn't have some trust in you." Kotori refrained from sighing - it wasn't the first time Nyton called her 'highness'. "However, since we seem to be about to talk in earnest, I must ask you to cease to call me 'highness'. That is an incorrect title: at best, I am nobility - not royalty." Kotori smiled, trying to soften the rebuke. "Addressing me by a rank I've earned or 'Lady Kotori' if you must really give me some title... that I think I could accept."

Nyton gave a nod and smiled a bit. "I figured we could lay that out and perhaps let it rest for now, my Lady. I am glad to have earned such and to quite honest you had done the same with me or I would not have followed you from the Sakura." He sighed a bit and crossed his arms. "This subject however is a little more sensitive. Personal even. Because of the nature of this subject I find myself straying onto dangerous ground." After he said this he began to disarm himself and laid his sidearm on Kotori's desk. "My request is that you order the Miharu to 'look away' during this conversation so that what I say essentially stays between us."

Kotori blinked once, incredulity showing in her eyes a moment before nodding. "Miharu, please take off your audio and video reception in this room and seal the entryway from outside intrusion. Restore only if my body heat rises by five-degrees celsius or if the door to my suite should be opened from the inside."

"Fine, I won't eavesdrop." Miharu replied, almost petulantly. "Sensors disabled."

Kotori waited a moment and then nodded. "Conspiracy theories, Nyton?"

Nyton could only nod in agreement. "Something like that. Theories that border on rather 'treasonous' lines I'm afraid." he said. "Earlier when you mentioned who had access and a need to know the information that pertains to our mission you left out a certain individual. While I can figure most of the reasoning something does stick out and it involves the history of said individual and the connections with our subject."

"I know there are actually more people aware of it, but if the crew has to talk to someone outside of the Miharu, it felt safer referring them to the superior officers of the people whom were probably aware of it." She frowned. "I could have committed an oversight though. Who did you have in mind?"

Nyton sat down slowly and adopted his thinking pose."Perhaps it was an oversight. The individual I have in mind however goes very high up. The man I am talking about is the Emperor himself, my lady. Did he not at one time have connections with PNUgen? Deep connections?"

Kotori tensed up. Why hadn't she included the Emperor? Of course he would be a logical choice as an ultimate reference point... so, why didn't she mention him?

As she recollected, she remembered something she read in passing in her documents concerning the raid of the PNUgen complex. It had shocked her at the time, but she had tried not to dwell on it to much.

"Even though the raid on the PNUgen complex was successful and that some important officials were taken into custody, we still failed to glean useful information from them." She answered. "I think they made a bluff of making public what involvement Emperor Uesu had in regard of the Elysian plague back in YE 08. There was the implied note that such a thing would definitely sully the reputation of the Emperor and seeing that the bluff worked, well, that makes me a bit leery of depending on him."

A role in the Elysian plague that wiped out the majority of the population? Could there be something there as well? Nyton thought to himself. "I had no idea. I suppose such information would seem rather incredulous. However the Emperor from what I know has been around for quite some time. If he was connected with PNUgen I have begun to wonder if he may know something regarding the Mishhu and our antagonist Naraku," he said. After a second's pause he then added: "According to some information I came across he has had dealings with Naraku in the past."

Kotori nodded. "There was a hunt for Naraku that had been going on for some time. At some point, it stopped, and I can only imagine it stopped because she had been captured. If she was released, it must have had been because she had in her possession something to trade which was more beneficial than keeping her into custody."

Nyton kept his composure but began to wonder if Kotori was already aware of what had transpired. "The information I came across mentioned that there was an exchange of a Taisho Kai Ashigari's ST backup for her freedom. Unfortunately there is not much else that the information mentions outside of the deal that is connected to Naraku. The rest actually serves to paint the Emperor in a rather bad light."

"Considering Ashigari's short service on the YSS Nozomi, his brother's death and then the disappearance of him and one of his relatives after some sort of brief broadcast said to slander the Emperor, I admit it all sounds rather fishy." Kotori sighed. "If Naraku deals with ST backups, it could mean she has more of them. The hunt for her often included the objective of finding the whereabouts of the deceased Empress Yuumi, so, maybe there's a link with that and the Black Spiral able to override PANTHEON-based system temporarely with that name. Also, there's the matter of late-empress Ayame's death, whom committed suicide and left no ST records behind."

"It is rather disturbing to see that she can easily access ST backups and deal with them as such. If anything that would mean she has been able to use the PANTHEON system without anyone knowing for a long time." Nyton's train of thought was suddenly derailed by another thought. "Wait, Empress Ayame's ST backups were all deleted. There is a faction of neko that wanted more freedoms and democracy. The late Empress was trying to instill more democratic freedoms in the empire before her death. If anything she would have been likely to be receptive to this group. Or even if this group heard of her they might seek to communicate with her." Nyton spouted out his train of thought even as it came to him without realizing it.

"If they can access the PANTHEON system this also makes me concerned about whether or not we can still trust the system. How can we know for certain the PANTHEON hasn't already tapped us. For all we know Naraku could have it set so that any mention of her name has the system tracing the individual researching her." Nyton said. "The system is so ingrained in our lives it is almost impossible to stay outside of it."

"I made sure the Miharu was on an isolated network. The same goes for the Sakura - we had no choice if we wanted to gain some edge in the investigation." Kotori answered back, her tongue flicking out to wet her lips.

Kotori had been originally indulging Nyton his flight of fancy - she understood the need to hatch conspiracy theories simply to try to sort out the muddled mess she had exposed to them. This was all supposed to be conjecture... however the nepleslian warrant officer's last statement sent a chill up her spine.

He suddenly was making a disturbing amount of sense.

"You're suggesting that Naraku's control over the PANTHEON wasn't a recent thing, but cultivated through the years and that this 'harvesting' of precious ST backups would be indicative of it." She said a bit breathlessly. "If Ayame had still been alive, the faction Pumpkin is part of might not have had joined Naraku since they had something to hope for. With Ayame gone, they're backed in a corner, with the Black Spiral being their only, reliable ally despite the nuances in their goals..."

Nyton paused for a second as he tried to gain his thoughts again. "I had not thought about that until you mentioned Naraku 'dealing' with ST backups. The information I had gotten was simply another conspiracy theory involving the Emperor and him having the Ashigari brothers assasinated. The only reason it came to mind was that he had traded Naraku's freedom to get Kai Ashigari's ST backup returned. But that part had never really synced because the whole time I've just considered that whole mess to be a theory aimed at harming the Emperor. But dispensing that we could assume that the ST thefts part is very likely true. And then again I am brought to another question. That one being why was the hunt for Empress Yuumi connected with Naraku? Could Naraku have gotten a hold of Yuumi first?"

"I've never been able to figure out that part."Kotori admitted, shrugging helplessly. "Since the city in which the Empress had been had been turned into a big crater by the Elysians, I thought she'd ought to be very dead."

Nyton could not keep his mind from trying to trip over itself. "I do not know the significance either. Perhaps I'll find some connection once I go over all the files that I asked Miharu to collect. In the meantime though I think I can narrow down Naraku's purpose a little more with what we have just discussed. If she were to want to control the Empire then all she would have to do is just create her own clones of all the high ranking figures and run things from the shadows. Perhaps even ST into a body of one so that she could do it herself. But if she is instead fomenting a war with the different factions through Black Spiral then there must be something else."

Kotori found Nyton's suggestion daunting. "Well..." She swallowed hard and huffed. "If I loved my home, but saw it beset by rivals whom wanted to take control of it and make it change from the place I grew up in, I think I would go to long lengths to preserve what I held dear. If the adversity was especially nasty, I might even stoop down to playing dirty tricks and being cruel to make sure my home stays what I feel it is meant to be. Of course, others might grow in disfavor of my practices toward my draconian actions... but as long as my home would stay safe, I feel it would be worth it."

Kotori's eyes stared into Nyton's. "Yamatai is not as clean as it looks; it is corrupt and it is overbearing in its practices toward other powers - that much I saw when Taisa Sydney resorted to gunboat diplomacy to have the Lorath join the Empire. Yui even seemed to approve. At the time, I was almost livid with shame. Now, I think I understand a bit why things were done the way they were."

She made a slight pause and got to the point. "We can't go and oppose the Emperor, Nyton. Politics is ripe with the need to commit necessary evils for the good of the many and someone has to go and make the effort of committing those wrongs for the sake of others, just like we stain our hands in blood so that others might not have to do the same as well." Kotori shook her head slightly. "The sins weighting on the Emperor's shoulders are not relevant to our task: our focus should really remain on the primary goals of the Star Army: to protect its citizenry, to ward from enemies coming from without and from within. From my point of view, the best thing we can do is try to make this civil war grind to an halt by disposing of the elements which feeds its fire. Once that's done, the rest is really up to the politicians. All we can do is pay our price in blood so that the citizens of the Empire may remain safe."

The Taii sighed and shook her head. "Am I even making any sense?"

"Perfect sense, my lady. I had not thought to propose going 'against' the Emperor. While I might consider the possibility of him being involved, I'm not saying we should revolt or anything. The political troubles of Yamatai are not what we are out to rectify. Unless we stop this civil war from coming to fruition there won't be a Yamatai left to fix." Nyton replied.

The black-haired nekovalkyrja commander nodded mutely, waitig for the other to continue.

"However if there is a chance to improve conditions in the Empire for the betterment of all then I would not be adverse to pursuing it. After all, the condition these nekos want is one of peaceful coexistance while not being enslaved." Nyton stopped and let out a sigh. "I digress. I am no philosopher. While I have studied civil rights and the importance of such liberties I always looked to the angle that could be used to win the battle without having to cost everyone their lives."

"Viewed from the bottom, it's a bit mind boggling - there is no easy solution to the problem... too much spite and resentment is in the air to allow for that. I think we should start first with seeking out the Black Spiral and deal with them then - focus on what we can do instead of what we cannot do. We might be able to glean more answers to our many interrogations instead of constantly worrying about shooting blindly in the dark..." The Taii trailed off and then tilted her head at her guest. "I'm surprised you haven't asked."

"Asked?" Nyton looked confused as thought he was suddenly snapped out from something. "Do you mean about your .... interrogation at the hands of Black Spiral?"

"No, though I admit that's not one thing I want to dwell on. I thought I could bear pain... but I never realized how the anguish of seeing another suffer for my mistakes would be." Kotori shook her head. "No, what I meant was that I'm surprised you don't seem more concerned about why we - well, I - am still loyal to the Empire when our opposition is essentially struggling to defeat imperial rule, break the dominion of humans on Yamatai and have the nekovalkyrja cast their shadows over all other species."

"Oh you mean why have I not questioned your loyalties? I suppose the question had not risen in my mind. Perhaps it is because such a question could easily be posed to me when the Empire I serve is pushing us 'non-improved' humans out." Nyton replied. "I could just as easily have left the Empire, sit this out and watch as the Empire is destroyed from within while the Nepleslian Empire takes advantage of the situation and seizes control themselves." Nyton let his words hang in the air for a moment before he continued. "No I haven't thought to ask. Have you of me?"

"I suppose not." Kotori replied, vowing silently to spend more time with Nyton in the future. She knew he was only a young man by human standards, but she slowly was growing much more confident that making him a tactical officer had been the right choice to make. He was very shrewd. "Without delving in my motivations too deeply, let's just say that the methods the Black Spiral employ as well as what they envision as being their ideal future does not match my own vision of the future I want to live into."

She idly stroked one hand down the hair that spilled over her shoulder. "I think another point worthy of mention would be that the Miharu's mission is something of a crusade to me. The Black Spiral robbed me of my innocence. I knew my eyes were to be opened sooner or later... but they left me a... lasting impression. A strong enough impression for me to carry a grudge."

Nyton narrowed his eyes and touched his fingertips together. "Be careful that you do not let this vendetta blind you to opportunities," he said with a slight tone of amusement. "But I'm sure you didn't need me to tell you that. No, I'm sure you can retain a sense of clarity without losing the strength that gives you a sense of purpose."

Kotori returned the smile. "One of the reasons I am telling you is so you will know about it if some difficult situation comes up. Anticipating what I will want, what I will feel about a situation is only going to be an asset to you into either reacting quickly to a crisis. Furthermore, while I am the commander, I can acknowledge that I am faillible, relatively inexperienced with the command chair and that my opinions will not always be the right ones. This is why I established a firmer command chain than Taisa Sydney had on the Sakura and that I'm making an effort to delegate. I don't want to depend only on myself - I need the help of everyone to get through what we will have to face."

Nyton allowed himself to give her a slight grin in return. "I am sure that you're goals are a little more rational in their means and end." He then looked away from Kotori but gave a sort of sidewards glance back. "I read the clauses regarding the restriction so given my current assignment I am certain I will be allowed to remain when I petition my case. But I must thank you for giving me a less 'combat prone' position while retaining me in a combat slot. It is foresight like this that has reassured me that following you has been one of my better choices in life."

"So far, the faith I've had in you seems to have been well placed." Kotori assured him as she stood up and walked around the desk. "Don't stand," she admonished him as she approached his seat.

Nyton turned his head and watched her approach with a curious expression.

The neko bent down, placed her hands on his shoulder and softly pressed her lips to his forehead. There were many things she wanted to tell him - none really trite and romantic, but most heartfelt.

"Welcome home." She said as she pulled back from the kiss and slid her soft fingers off his shoulders.

For a moment Nyton actually found himself at a loss for words. A slight blush had formed on his face despite all attempts to hide it. When he could finally find his voice he managed to get something out. "I guess the words I am looking for is 'tadaima' or something like that." he said, his grasp on Japanese suddenly having left him.

Still smiling, Kotori straightened up. "Well, unless you are going to help me unpack my things - and I don't see why you would unless you'd have an avid desire to finger my lingerie - I'm going to have to kick you out if I am to get things done. Besides, you have your own luggage to settle before Tom has things set up for us in the wardroom."

With the mention of something else Nyton was able to return to other tasks at hand and refocus. "Ah yes, I still have not finished unpacking completely either. And while fondling the Taii's lingerie might seem appealing to some I have more respect for you then to do that." he said before he stood up. "Plus I am certain Miharu has finished gathering the materials I have requested. My room is probably going to seem like a shrine to Naraku at the rate I'm going to analyze her." he added with a bit of humor.

Kotori giggled. "In that case, maybe you should get window curtains; you know, in case a curious LAMIA comes by and stares through the window, wondering what all the paperwork is about."

"You have a point with that. I would have imagined there was a privacy setting for the windows so that the outside cannot see inside." Nyton replied as he picked up his sidearm and reattached it to his belt.

"You could always use the armored shutters instead." Kotori pointed out. "...though it'd rob the charm of having windows in the first place."

"It does defeat the purpose. I suppose I will simply have to angle my work away from the window." Nyton said with a serious demeanor while he planned out his room's layout again.

Kotori moved to the door and used a small control panel on it's left to have it slid open. "I'm glad we got to talk. See you later."

Nyton gave a slight bow and walked over to the entrance. "Same here. I am grateful for this opportunity to speak with you in full confidence, Kotori. Sorry for the cloak-and-dagger earlier but I suppose I feared my speech and actions would be deemed as treasonous."

"Oh?" Miharu spoke up, it's priviledges restored by Kotori's opening of the door.

Kotori rolled her eyes, put her index finger to her lips in indication that Nyton would have to be cautious and then waved him goodbye.

Nyton blanched a bit at his momentary lack of indiscretion and hurried off as he nodded farewell.

END

 

[Abwehran Commander]

After shaking Nyton's hand and thanking him, the young neko left the briefing room to finally go pick a room for herself. Deciding on an unoccupied enlisted quarters on the port side of the ship, Masako began to move her things into the room. "I'm doing it again," she sighed quietly to herself as she continued to unpack her things. "I didn't even talk to anyone as much as I should have," she mumbled before pulling out her viola.

"Maybe a little music will cheer me up," the young neko said as she unpacked the instrument from its case and put it to her chin. Slowly, the young woman pulled her bow across its strings as she began to play a calming melody, the viola's rich sound echoing throughout her room.

 

[Nyton]

Nyton had walked a few meters on auto-pilot before he got a hold of himself and managed to think straight. The conversation and it's conclusion had actually managed to ruffle his cool demeanor. You're acting like some ridiculous child, pull yourself together. he mentally berated to himself. The Taii actually kissed me. On the forehead, yes, but that was an actual heartfelt kiss. With emotion behind it. Kotori would not have done so lightly.

There was actual struggle within Nyton as he tried to make sense of his emotions. Previous encounters had never been like this. The actions that occurred during the games on the Sakura were nothing more than games. There were no actual feelings behind them. Nyton had not even really given such things a serious glance. His ambitions wouldn't allow it. He had never shut down his emotions for the sake of his ambition he had decided that seeking any sort of 'romantic' notions would be impossible with the life he sought to lead. I guess dad was right. I should have hooked up with more girls when I was younger. Nyton began to reminisce about his family somewhat and wondered if they were well. It had been some time since he had last spoken to them. I was able to divulge the information you learned and not implicate you, mom. In the end it turned out what you found really was useful. Thanks mom.

After Nyton gathered himself for another moment he decided to think on such matters later and get back to work. There was still much research to be done. Before he could head back to his room though he stoped himself.

He still had not talked to Leutre. With a sigh of resolve he knew that would need to be done before he finished unpacking.

"Miharu, could you please let me know where Veressis-Hei is located so that I may talk to him." Nyton asked.

 

[Fred]

"He's on the subdeck, engineering section." Miharu replied. "He's sitting right in the middle; you can't miss him."

 

[Nyton]

"Thank you, Miharu." Nyton replied and he began to make his way to the engineering subdeck. When he entered the floor he began to look for Leutre in case he had moved from his last known position and called out to him. "Veressis-Hei, are you busy right now?"

 

[Strangelove]

Leutre cringed as he heard Nyton's voice call out over the sound of the machinery. Even in the deepest bowels of the ship he couldn't get a little privacy. But it couldn't be helped so there was no sense brooding on it. Brushing off the bottom of his pants, he stood up and gave Nyton a friendly smile.

"Welcome to my little corner of the galaxy." He spread his hands and motioned to the cluttered and noisy room around them. "I'd offer you a drink, but I haven't decided where to construct my distiller yet. Is there something you need?"

 

[Nyton]

Nyton approached Leutre easily. He looked around to get a better perspective on the subdeck as well as familiarize himself with the ship and Leutre's natural habitat so to speak."Yes Veressis-Hei, there was a certain matter of discipline I wanted to discuss. Before I go any further though, I need to know if you went through basic Yamatai military training and what all were you trained in."

 

[Strangelove]

"Training?" Leutre narrowed his eyes as he heard the question. Was Nyton suggesting he wasn't qualified for his position? That he was incompetent?

Weeks under the Star Army's ever watchful eye, especially without spiced wine, had taken it's toll. At least if he had active combat duty he would have an effective way to vent his frustrations. But no, because of one little incident he didn't have that luxury either. And now he had Nyton interrupting his meditation. Not only that, but without ever failing in his duties once, Nyton had the nerve to questioning his engineering abilities.

Leutre felt something inside him snap. Abandoning all his restraint, he snarled, "Listen you pompous little pilot. I may be arrogant, rude, lazy, and violent, but I am not incompetent. There's no way they would make me a gearhead on a prototype vessel if I weren't capable of pulling my weight and then some. Don't ever suggest otherwise or, Goddess forbid, I'll slit your throat in your sleep." He clenched his fists and took a step forward to make his point.

 

[Nyton]

Nyton didn't even blink at the threat but he kept on a neutral expression as he tried to read the other man's outburst. Given Leutre's current disposition he doubted that any order given, no matter how directly, was not going to snap him back in line. Nyton's eyes targeted Leutre's fists and legs and he shifted his body so that his left side faced his opponent. However he kept his hands open and down so as not to give the impression that he was about to strike.

Nyton gave a sigh as though he showed disappointment. "Veressis you have misunderstood your position yet again. For starters you claim I am questioning your technical skill. How could I do that when you haven't even displayed any to begin with! You have neither had the opportunity to do so nor have you showed me that you possess anything other then a rather obstinate attitude. What I was referring to was whether you had received any training with regards to military customs and courtesy but you just answered that question with your threat to kill a superior officer." Without allowing Leutre a chance to reply just yet Nyton continued but this time his face showed anger. "I have no idea how someone as 'arrogant, rude, lazy, and violent' as yourself even graduated from basic let alone survived his first DAY of training without being torn to pieces by your drill sergeant!"

This time Nyton took a step forward. "I came here to ask you a simple question and to see about helping you find a way around the species restriction regulation that you were so upset about earlier but apparently that's irrelevant now because you obviously DON'T want to be a member of the Star Army and have crossed a VERY serious line. By regulations you should be court martialed and jettisoned off this ship without a space suit like you nearly were earlier. However seeing as it is just you, me, and Miharu here I'm willing to let you walk back from that line and not get your ass shot into space. But I promise you that should you decide to take that offer, the walk is going to be like crossing hot coals with bare feet because you just made your life that much more difficult. Unfortunately those are your only two options now but they were brought entirely upon you by yourself!"

Nyton remained on the alert as he studied Leutre's face and body movements. He also took into account their surroundings and watched out for any potential weapons Leutre might use or factors that may tip the scale such as tripping or low clearance hazards. Any sign of a hostile act from him was already locked on by Nyton's cybernetic eye enhancements. The pain sensors and calibration limiters had been shut off in his cybernetic forearm so that all Nyton needed was one chance to get a good hold of Leutre and his fingers would crush through the bone like a vise. While his sidearm was available and would be used if the situation required, Nyton hoped that hearing the sound of several bones cracking would be more then enough to deter him from continuing an exchange if it came down to that at all. All the while he watched and waited to see what Leutre's answer would be.

 

[Strangelove]

Leutre studied Nyton's face as he pondered what he had said. Maybe letting loose wasn't such a good idea. But it had felt so good to get some anger off his shoulders, even if Nyton didn't necessarily deserve any of it. "Look," he sighed and crossed his arms. "I'm going to do my job to the best of my abilities. And that's it. That's all there is. But everyone automatically assumes just because my methods and apperances are questionable, so is my reliability and skill. And that just irritates the hell out of me."

Leutre took a step back and ran a hand through hair. With an apologetic look he said, "If you must know, yeah, maybe I did skip a bit of training. Spending nearly one's whole life in a ship can give one a certain flair for engineering. Between my background and my scores on the entrance exams, I guess they felt basic had little to offer me. So they allowed me to skip most of basic training and instead take some refresher classes on Star Army ship technology. A few weeks later, here I am."

"And, uh," Leutre nervously shifted his weight from one foot to the other as he struggled to find the right words, "Well, sorry about threatening to kill you in your sleep. I didn't really mean it, it's just a bad habit I picked up from my Da. A much different culture where I come from, you see, so don't take my words too out of context." After pausing in thought for a moment, he added, "Plus, you can probably tell by my personality that blades aren't at all my style. I believe all souls should given a respectful bang for their send off, instead of a whimper. High explosives, all the way. Finesse is for the cocky."

 

[Nyton]

Nyton relaxed a bit but remained on his guard in case of any ruse. While he listened he could not help but feel a huge amount of aggravation at whoever it was in personnel command who allowed this sort of situation to happen. You have got to be kidding me. ANOTHER soldier who was sent to the front without even being properly trained? This is unacceptable. If the army is so desperate for soldiers that they fail to completely train them why are they issuing regulations to restrict us from entering? Or maybe it is to avoid the need for training that they did this so they don't even have to bother with regular training and just upload programs into neko brains? he thought.

"Veressis, the whole purpose for basic military training is to verify whether an individual is fit for military service. There is more to it than just seeing if you are capable or skilled at your chosen field of expertise. There is the ability to listen and follow orders. Not to mention the traditions and structure of the modern army. You could be a genius at starship operation and repair but if you are incapable of obeying simple regulations and orders then you'd be better off focusing your talents in the private sector or in a corporation. Just because the military gets to work with all the flashy gadgets and technology does not mean you get to do whatever the hell you want to do with them. There are laws and being in the military means you are held to a much higher standard of the law." Nyton said. He watched to see if his lecture was indeed received or if he had hit another brick wall.

"As of right now Veressis, I really don't know what to do with you. It is obvious that your behavior is a failure of the system to determine whether or not you should be considered fit for military service. Ridiculous as it may sound, you probably should have been referred to one of the military's manufacturing companies." Nyton said with a sigh. "I have little choice but to bring this matter up to either Yukari Chui or Ketsurui Taii for further evaluation. We may have to put up with this until the completion of the mission."

Nyton hesitated for a second as he did not wish to have to complicate matters further by bringing up that one of the Miharu's crewmembers had been inadequately trained. The fact that the man had gone so far as to threaten his life, even after an apology, made Nyton wonder whether it was worth even being merciful enough to not throw him into the containment cell. With a sigh of resignation Nyton tensed and stared Leutre directly into his eyes.

"Veressis, I plan on checking your records to make sure that you were indeed rushed through. If this is indeed the case I'm going to give you two options based on evaluation of the situation with the information you have given me however I will need you to give me an answer immediately. Either we take this matter up the chain and let them decide your fate or you agree to let me train you on how to be a soldier. Not a technician but a full soldier who knows how to act and conduct themselves in a professional military manner. Allowing this and you are able to actually show improvement I think we will be able to put this behind us and move on. You will not just 'try' hard but actually display that you have achieved proficiency within a VERY tight schedule." Nyton said as he crossed his arms. "Truthfully I shouldn't even have to take the time out of my busy schedule to teach you. You should have already been versed in all of this before you even reached the ship. So because my free time will be taken up teaching you something you should already know I promise you I will not be kind during this training."

A neutral look formed upon Nyton's face as he continued. "Should you fail to show any improvement or even fall short of your schedule then I will bring this whole matter up to the Taii and recommend that you be executed for violating military law and especially for wasting my time. You will then be returned using an ST prior to the briefing we just received so that you can be discharged from military service wihtout having to worry about all that classified information you know."

Tthe tone in Nyton's voice was dead serious. "Now that I have laid out the terms and conditions I need an answer. What will it be?"

As Nyton waited for an answer his eyes targetting system had re-established tracking locks on Leutre. He still had not restored the safety calibrations to his cybernetic arm.

 

[Doshii Jun]

ON:

Tom held his hand on Yukari's back as he helped support her sitting position. "Just hold that there for a bit, and I'm sure you'll be just ok. Not that it matters, though, with that nifty healing ability you got there." Tom noticed the blush but responded with a smile.

"Ah ... that is true." Yukari was still holding the cloth to her head and sitting up. Tom's hand on her back reminded her of the dancing from before ... how gentle he was. I did not expect this. I am too clumsy. She managed a smile. "It is something I am not used to yet, however."

"Well then, I guess this is as good a first time to put it to use as any," Tom replied. "It's good to make sure that it's working for when we hit the danger zones."

"Mm." Yukari kept her gaze in front of her, not looking at Tom. "The briefing suggested we will be in one constantly."

"Yeah, I noticed how you left," Tom said quietly as he gently moved her long hair behind her head, to get a better look at her face. "How're you holding up?"

Yukari blinked and blushed a little more, but she kept looking forward. "I will be fine. I am among my friends, neh?" She smiled a little, eyes locked on her feet. "But you did not appear confident."

Tom nodded. "It's not my job to be confident, but it's reassuring that we have friends to rely on."

"But we will have to fight ... all of us. The Taii expects it." Yukari did not sound thrilled at her own statement.

"Yeah, don't remind me of it," Tom said, remembering his earlier conversation with Kotori, and how it left him feeling angry and helpless. "I fight because I must, not because I choose to."

"Mm," Yukari said idly. "But ... she is nice, Freeman-Heisho. We are lucky to have her as a commander."

"I don't doubt that, Yukari," Tom said, using her name for the first time. "But I can't help but think our values are a little different."

Yukari held her breath for a moment -- He should not use my name like that, it is improper! -- but she let the breath ease out of her. "Mm ... she is driven by things you are not."

"...That's what I'm afraid of..." Tom said that barely above a whisper.

Yukari brought the cloth down from her head. "She pursues something we cannot understand, Freeman-Heisho. But the Star Army sees fit she does so."

"Have you ever killed someone?" Tom suddenly realized what he had just blurted out, a moment too late. "I, I'm sorry for asking something so stupid." He looked away with shame.

" ... Not that I can remember." When the Black Spiral tank had pursued Gunn-Juni on Kyoto, she had never managed to kill anyone. She did not, however, want to recall what she had done on the Iori. She did not want to share that with him; she did not want him to see that side of her.

"... That's good then." Tom said after several long moments of silence, turning his head back to her with the biggest expression of barely-held-in-check relief in his eyes. "But... I'm afraid that that will come to an end this mission."

"For... all of us." The words were laced with sadness.

"That is a fact," Yukari said, not quite as glum. Her shame for not telling him did not touch her cheeks, but her arm seemed to hurt a little more. I am preserving the morale of the crew, in a small way. It is fine.

"But, perhaps we will not be part of the fighting."

"It's hopeful to think that way, but I'm afraid that, by the very nature of our assignment, combat will be an inevitability." Tom stood up and walked away from Yukari, picking up the ladle and placing it back on the counter. He stared out of the opening, into the cafeteria, both his hands on the counter.

"That ... scares you?" Yukari got up slowly using her other arm

"...Can I make a request, ma'am... no... Yukari?" Tom continued to stare out into the distance. "I know it sounds foolish..."

Yukari could not hold her blush this time. "Suzuka-Chui," she said, looking slightly cross.

"...I know it sounds foolish, but," Tom paused, then mustered the strength to turn to face her. "Over the last few days we've known each other, I've developed feelings for you. There's something about you that makes me feel special. I-I want to continue pursuing this relationship." Tom was fumbling over his words a bit, trying not to scare Yukari with the word love.

" ... " Yukari looked, in a word, dumbstruck. Her entire body turned red, though Tom could only see her face. "It ... it is not proper for an enlisted personnel to be in a relationship with an officer." Yukari knew no such thing, and had only Kotori's advice of not limiting herself to go on. "It is not proper to have relationships at all ... it could affect our performance in battle." She was reciting. It was all what she had heard when she had been a freighter pilot; one of the other Nekos had used it to shoo the captain away. Her eyes finally came into focus again.

" ... " She pleaded with her eyes. "We must remember our mission."

"Better to lay this all out before the mission starts, then, ma'am," Tom said calmly. "Just as you said, we can't allow our feelings to get in the way... but we can't allow our emotions to be crushed either, to boil over at a critical moment."

A pause. "How do you... feel about me?"

" ... " Yukari was going to faint. She had crushed on other guys -- she thought that was the right term -- but she had never experienced it herself. She found herself far too plain for that. "I--I like you."

"Like, that's such a broad word," Tom said with a light smile. "I like ice cream and I like chicken and I like Yukari Suzuka-Chui."

"Be quiet," she said in Japanese, frustrated and embarrassed and generally upset. She had practically bared her soul, and he treated it like a joke! "That was a very forward thing for me to say, and most inappropriate!" she said in English. Yukari determined she would not be swayed by Tom's light, uplifting smile.

"Then please, give me the permission to be inappropriate, if only for this one time, to make up for the embarrasment that I've cause you because..." Tom stood firm and swallowed hard. "Aishite imasu."

Yukari was sure she had died. Not only had Tom said something so amazingly forward she thought she was on fire ... he had said it completely wrong. In a cultural sense, at least. And yet he looked so cute when he said it, attempting to be so manly about it. Tears and laughter fought for dominance of her actions, but in the end, she looked away with a frown. "You need to practice your Japanese more ... Freeman-san."

"Errr, uh, ah... did I say it wrong?" Tom blinked a couple of times. "Dammit..." He shook his head.

The barest hint of a smile crossed her lips. He definitely didn't work very hard learning Yamatai culture ... if he had, he'd recognize she'd returned some of his forwardness. But, she thought, perhaps she had to use some of his culture too. "Freeman-san -- I want to ... have your intercourse." She said the last part very sultry like, or as best as she could.

Now it was the Yamataian's turn to laugh, but it was more of a chortle held behind his hand as he turned away and waved his hand. "...Ma'am... that was a bit direct!"

He discreetly wiped the tears from his eyes. "That's... why I love you too."

Yukari had to giggle a little. She hadn't realized she had turned the phrase incorrectly, as it were, but the message had come across. Suddenly, hearing him say "I love you" was not so embarrassing, though she could not stop blushing. I feel like I was just born again.

His face red with laughter and his eyes still shimmering a little from his tears, Tom Freeman, caretaker, engineer, and now boyfriend extraordinare, turned around and took Yukari's hands in his. "Then, I have a promise to make to you."

Yukari looked up into his eyes and smiled uncertainly. "A-a promise?"

"Yes, a promise." Tom's eyes locked onto hers, the warmth emitting from them pouring into her soul. "No matter what happens, should we fall out of love or fall deeper into love, I promise that I, Tom Freeman, will never change, no matter what happens, no matter how many people I will have to kill in the name of the empire. I will hold onto what makes me me, even if I must die to achieve it. I promise to be this way for you always."

The promise Tom was making to her ... the power behind it. It was too much for her. She could not lie in the face of that. It was too much. "I shot someone," she said calmly, slowly. "I did not want to tell you, because I did not want you to see it. But I cannot lie so easily. I shot a woman, in the head, with a 10-millimeter pistol. I was not myself at the time, but her blood is on my hands. It changed me. And if you must kill, it will change you."

If what Yukari had said affected him in any way, Tom didn't show it. Instead, he quickly grabbed the washcloth off the table, ran some warm water on it and wrung it out. As Yukari stood there, he silently took one of her hands and ran the washcloth over it, gently scrubbing it. He spoke nothing as he took her other hand and did the same.

"Eh ... ?" Yukari was confused as she looked at her hands. "What are you -- "

After he was finished with her hands, Tom tossed the cloth over his shoulder into the sink. "Washing the blood from her off your hands," The Yamataian lifted her left hand and kissed, his actions carrying all the symbolism of his statement. "At least in my eyes."

" ... Idiot," she said in Japanese. Her voice cracked, just a little. "You are an idiot, Tom Freeman." Her green eyes looked squarely at his chest; she could not look up at him. "You are an idiot." She brought her hands down to her sides, eyes wet but not shedding tears. "A big idiot." She looked away from his chest, and down. She then swallowed hard. "But you are an idiot I will keep." She leaned in closer, not sure where to put her hands on him.

"Shhhh, it's ok ma'am." Tom hugged her, resting her head on his chest with a sort of paternal love as Yukari's hands dangled. "I'm sorry that you've had to carry all this weight on your mind. I'm sorry that you've held all this inside of you, I'm... so sorry..."

Yukari looked up, eyes still a little watery, but no tears fell. Her thin lips were steady. She said, in English, "Shut up and kiss me, idiot."

"Yes, ma'am." Tom moved Yukari back a little, lifted her chin with his thumb and forefinger and leaned in, kissing the woman he loved.

Yes, Yukari thought. This is the feeling. This is what it was. She felt the scratch of his stubble, smelled the scent of his skin, tasted the sweetness of his smooth lips ... This must be it. What could be better? She broke the kiss after what felt like too short a time, but breathing was important. As she returned flat to her feet, her eyes were half-lidded, green eyes sparkling beneath the stale light.

" ... Shimatta," she swore, barely breathing the word out. "Please do not listen to me from here onward. That was ... intoxicating." She meant it literally, but figuratively applied as well.

"Haha," Tom said with a chuckle. "Oh man, I want to have your intercourse so hard right now." He playfully chided her once more.

"You talked again." Yukari put her hands around his neck and, straining a little, brought him down to her lips again. The kiss was shorter, but after she let him go, she had the same blissful look on her face, but with a bigger smile. "I was told kissing tends to make people be quiet, but it does not work on you. Pity."

Whatever willpower Tom had was quickly melting away. He picked up Yukari and put her on the counter leaning in with his body to kiss her. "Losing... battle... to... talk... I... am."

Yukari realized Tom was not as weak as she had thought, as he uncermoniously picked her up and put her on the counter. Suddenly he was close, kissing, touching her, making her head spin like the nights she'd spent with Kotori, but much worse. She was not thinking clearly. He was not thinking clearly. "Mmph," was all she managed.

The Yamataian had now joined Yukari on the table and was caressing her clothed body with his hands and lips. He had just gotten to massaging her breasts gently when something went off in his head... "...What time is it?"

Yukari was crushing her lips against him, body feeling good all over, loving the feel of his smooth hands on her breasts. She breathed, "I do not know," and quickly returned to kissing him. Time is irrelevant, she thought.

"It's time for some food to be cooked because others are going to be hungry!" Mara shouted.

"AAHHH!" The sudden shouting voice caused Tom to jump off Yukari's body and crash hard onto the floor. "Ack...ow... Dinner!" He had totally forgotten.

"Nani?!" Yukari went the other way, crashing over the counter and back onto the floor, this time flat on her belly. Her breasts went from feeling good to feeling very sore.

Mara, for her part, laughed hysterically.

Tom was wheezing a bit on the floor, having landed somewhat sideways, crushing a certain part of his body a bit. "Give.. me.. a.. second... Damn it, Mara, that was the worst time to chime in EVER."

Mara was still laughing.

Yukari was going to kill the spirte. Later. But she vowed to kill her, somehow. That was a killing that would be for the better. "Mara ... -san ... that was ... inappropriate ... " She managed to get to her feet.

"It was still FUNNY!" Mara nearly fell off the table she was sitting on. "You guys were gonna get it on, weren't ya!"

"We'll never know NOW, will we?!" Tom now was on his feet, but was lurching against the counter, the pain in his groin still ringing. "Mara, how much time until dinner?"

"Twenty minutes!" Mara responded gleefully. "Better hurry, eh?" She puckered her lips at Tom, volumous ashen blond hair waving at him as she giggled and hopped off the table.

Yukari went back to help Tom. "Are you well, Freeman-Heisho?" She had slipped into the role of an officer again.

"Yes, ma'am," Tom said, running into the freezer. "With your permission, please turn on the stove and set the oven to broil! I've got tuna steaks to make!"

"Yes," Yukari said hurriedly, working the stove and oven as instructed. "I will help as I can."

"Don't worry! It'll only take me about 5 minutes to do a salad! If I throw the baguette into the oven to cook while doing that, I'll still have 15 minutes to make tuna steaks! They'll have to be very thin, I suppose!"

Tom literally jumped to the counter with a head of lettuce in one hand and a baguette in another. He put the baguette in the oven and started to furiously cut the head of lettuce. "Ma'am, please set the table for me."

"Ah -- hai!" Yukari quickly went about gather dishes and such, placing them appropriately on the table.

"Thanks for all your help!" He had put the lettuce into a metal bowl and ran into the freezer for the tuna and a couple vegetables. "That should be all for now, ma'am. I'll see you again sometime soon?"

"Ah, hai," Yukari thought, realizing it might look suspicious if she were helping him. "Yes, soon. Very soon. I will, ah, go to my room!" Yukari took flight immediately and left.

Mara, however, stayed, grinning toothily at Tom.

"The kitchen is my domain, Mara," Tom said, frusturated by her presence. "Unless you want the crew to have a bad dinner, I suggest that you either help me or stay out of my way!" He poured some oil into the pan, letting it heat up as he chopped the tomatoes. "I say that with all due respect, of course!"

Mara shrugged and left, still smiling.

END

 

[Strangelove]

"That's it, then? Deliver or die?" Leutre let out a tired sigh. He had been sighing a lot lately. "That's not much of a choice, but it's only fair I suppose. One good threat deserves another."

"I will be honest with you, even if my lack of inhibitions seems to be my undoing. My first instinct is to tell you to go have intercourse with yourself. Quite possibly attempt to steal a shuttle, after making an attempt to cripple the ship so I may best make my escape. Of course, my odds would still be uncomfortably low due to the unknown positioning of personnel aboard the ship. Still, it's an alternative I'd prefer to losing part of who I am."

Before Nyton could threaten him further, he quickly added, "But, and this is a rather large but, I'm not an unreasonable. Well, yes I am, but not that unreasonable. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I work to the best of my capabilities for the sake of the ship." He paused a moment and frowned in uncertainty. "I can't help but imagine you're going to make my stay very unpleasant henceforth, but I will do my best to meet your standards or be sent into the abyss. Deliver or die, as it goes."

Leutre looked down at the deck as he pondered his decision. Would he end up regretting it, or looking back on it with thankfulness? Which ever the case, lashing out at Nyton probably wasn't a good idea. He had to be more careful from now on. "I admit it was a rather silly mistake to give you a bargaining chip like that, I really need to control my passions much better than that." He looked up at Nyton. "You, Nyton, will either break my will or forge it into steel. I just don't know which, nor do I know if I should love or hate you for it."