RP: YSS Miharu Prologue, Day 3

Once Nyton observed Mizuho's condition his face became grim. This doesn't look good. I wonder just how far gone she is. Or even just what exactly is she seeing. he thought as he began to walk towards Mizuho slowly. He sidestepped a bit around her current line of sight to see if she actually registered his presence beyond the rather bleak permission to enter.

"Mizuho-san can you hear me? It's Nyton. I came here to see if I could help. Maybe I can. Maybe I can't. I won't be presumptious to assume that I can solve anything. But I'm right here. I want to see you through this. Are you willing to at least try?" Nyton said calmly. He maintained a rather soft expression on his face and he reached out to her with his right hand to see if she would take it.

Yukari had kept quiet through dinner, but she had finished a while before. She was feeling inadequate; Kotori seemed to be handling much of the personnel issues, yet she had thought it was her duty.

I should talk to Amagasaki-Hei, she thought. She quietly put her napkin down and pushed herself from the table. "Taii-san, might I be excused?"

She smiled a little at Kotori. "I will try and speak to Amagasaki-Hei."

Kotori swallowed and set her ustensils back down with a nod. "Sure," she agreed. "Oh, let's scrap the plans for a senior officer meeting for tonight. Seeing that Masako will be training our enlisted, we can have a small conference in the morning. I'd rather leave the crew with time to get settled comfortably and have the time to cope with the information I gave them in the briefing."

"Along with being able to spend some free time with you know who," Kotori teased Yukari via private telepathy and added a wink for good measure.

Tom returned with a clean plate with another tuna steak on it. He put it down in the spot where Mizuho was sitting. He could not keep from sighing, though, when he noticed that the dinner was slowly dissolving.

"There, everything's good as new," he said half-heartedly. "One plate down, though."

He plopped down in his seat and picked at his tuna steak.

Cold.

Maintained her distant gaze, and was silent for a long while, seeming at first not to notice his hand. Not to properly note his voice, perhaps. She stared, like a staring-woman staring off into nothingness, eyes dilating and contracting off and on like clockwork.

Then, tenuously, fingers much more delicate than they appeared wrapped about his hand. "...Rikichi?" Her hand wrapped tighter, now. "Rikichi, that's really you?" She drew him quickly into a tight embrace, almost shaking as a sob claimed her. "They're all dead, Rikichi... I killed them... killed all of them..."

Mizuho shuddered, then, all over, wrinkling her nose.

"...Nyton-san..?" She felt very cold, and at once pushed away from him in a panic. "...where is Rikichi!"

"Understood," Masako replied to Leutre with a small nod before going back to what little of her meal was left over. Taking the last few bites of her steak with a visible frown, mostly because she had allowed her meal to cool too much, Masako finshed the bruschetta off quickly before dabbing a napkin along her mouth. "Again, that was wonder, Freeman-Heisho." she said with a small smile. Though she was telling the absolute truth when she had said it, her statement was also in an effort to raise the Yamataian's spirits...since the meal he had spent time making had almost been ruined by the atmosphere that had settled on the table earlier.

Slowly standing up, she bowed graciously to Tom. "If you would excuse me," she said before standing up straight. "I have a few simulations to plan out for tomorrow." she explained as she bowed to everyone this time before heading towards the Rec Room.

Nyton took in the state of her delusions and tried to assess the situation as best he could. Her embrace, while it took him by surprise was an observation he made in regards to her condition. The sudden shock she made before she pushed him was indicative of her realization that he was not Rikichi and he managed to catch himself so as not to fall. She is seeing off into the distance and thought I was someone else for a moment. This Rikichi person must have been someone she considered close to have reacted like that to him. This is unfortunately as bad as I thought. Somehow mom was able to get through to grandpa but then again she had a deeper connection to him whereas Mizuho and I have only recently met. I must be careful and know my limits. he thought.

"Don't worry Mizuho-san, you were dreaming. Rikichi is not here right now. Can you tell me more about Rikichi? I don't know who he is but if he is important to you then please tell me about him so that I may be able to help you find him." Nyton said calmly. Maybe if I can learn more about Rikichi and this event I can slowly lead her out of it. he thought hopefully.

Kotori said:

"Along with being able to spend some free time with you know who," Kotori teased Yukari via private telepathy and added a wink for good measure.

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Yukari blushed, but did not show Kotori. "Cruel," she sent back, still blushing as bowed and left the table.

Moments later, she was at the door of the fabrication room. I must approach this carefully. Amagasaki-Hei is a recent creation; she might learn slowly.

Yukari let the door slide open before speaking. "Amagasaki-Hei?"

Kotori finished up and then stood from her seat before coming next to Tom. She bent down and placed one hand lightly on his shoulder. "Thank you for the meal, Tom." She told him, not unkindly. Her hair was close enough so that a part of the dark curtain came to rest on his shoulder.

She gave him a comforting squeeze. "We'll get other more pleasant opportunities to prepare for the coming winter, you'll see."

Tom took the thanks from the others with a gracious nod and smile between bites of his own food. It didn't change the fact, though, that he was soon to be eating alone with a leftover steak as his only dining partner.

When the blushing Yukari moved to the door, Tom's heart fluttered for a moment. Maybe tonight...

...but then she was gone, and the creeping feelings of loneliness remained.

Kotori finished up and then stood from her seat before coming next to Tom. She bent down and placed one hand lightly on his shoulder. "Thank you for the meal, Tom." She told him, not unkindly. Her hair was close enough so that a part of the dark curtain came to rest on his shoulder.

She gave him a comforting squeeze. "We'll get other more pleasant opportunities to prepare for the coming winter, you'll see."

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"I am pleased that the true meaning of the Raltean dinner prayer is not lost to you... our mission begins tomorrow, doesn't it?"

"Rikichi..."

Mizuho slumped back against the wall, resuming the rather fetal position, eyes now firmly locked on Nyton. There was an agony to those eyes, profoundly visible, a whisper of something she had bottled inside for many years. Mizuho had shown cracks before, but it had been a long while since she had seemed so terribly close shattering. Her heart doused with ragwater and bitters and blue ruin, she glanced away from Nyton with a biting of her lip, forcing back tears through sheer force of will.

She was ready to burst, spill over the sides to anyone who would listen. And at once it was not Nyton's problem, nor his place, to interview her on the demon-haunts of her past, the demon-haunts of her present, the demon-haunts of her tommorrow. Time seemed inconsequential right now. So many people, so much blood... blood and feathers spattered across the walls, ichor awash on the sterile floor.

After a moment, Mizuho cleared her throat. "Rikichi is my executive officer. I need to find him."

It was plain-spoken, simple words and a reasonably composed voice, though there was an agonized choking noise towards the end of the sentence. "...I killed them, Nyton... they... they're staring at me..."

Her eyes glazed over impetuously, and she stared off, falling completely silent.

"By the Lady's bosom, that was a good meal Chef." He let out a small belch and gave an embarrassed smile. "Oh, do forgive me. Now... I think I'll go study those technical manuals a bit more and maybe catch up on some sleep after that. Early to bed and early to rise, keeps us sober and stalls our demise."

With nod and a slight bow he turned and left, and began to make his way towards his room. As he walked through the halls his thoughts turned to the training session planned for the next day. 'Killing things is always a nice healthy way to vent one's frustrations, though I honestly don't think I need the practice. After all, I do have the Lady's favor. Who needs skill if you have luck on your side?'

Kotori awarded Leutre with a slight wave and then nodded back to Tom. "Yes, though frankly, it might be better to hold off for another day so we can have the time to do some power armor training in space and to do some target practice to properly calibrate the Miharu's Fire Control System and sensors. Aside from in simulations, the ship's never been pushed to extremes - it might be good to push the envelope while we are not in a crisis."

Tom's steak was quickly losing flavor in his mouth. Kotori's businesslike demeanor rubbed him the wrong way. Was this always about the mission?

"We might as well get good at our jobs before we get shot at," he said calmly. "I'm concerned about our Santo Heis. I see that sparkle in their eyes, the kind of blissfull ignorance that covers the vision of new recruits."

He put his utensils down and turned to face Kotori.

"They really have no clue what they're getting into, do they?"

The Yamataian shook his head with a frown.

"It's really sad, isn't it? We get to see their rose-colored glasses shatter into a million fragmented pieces. How do you think they'll react? Will they toughen up, only to find themselves permanently changed, mourning the loss of something irreplacable?"

He cast a glance at the cooling plate of fish where Mizuho once sat.

"...Or will it be too much for them to handle?"

Tom sighed, reflecting for a second on memories long past.

"That I do not know, but what I do know is that we, as a family, must work together to ensure that we have a third choice: none of the above."

Kotori's eyes settled on Mizuho's dish as well. There was a significant pause before the neko's eyes flicked back to the Raltian man.

"Preparing for the worst, Tom?" The almond eyes blinked. "They might fare better than you think."

"Perhaps, but it is foolish not to be ready for the worst," Tom said. "As a Neko, you've probably been informed, or rather, programmed to understand the brutality of war. And your experiences, as well as your promotion to captain has helped shape that knowledge."

He cleared his throat.

"But the new recruits don't have the luxury of experience. The only things they have are their training, and us. It's our job to help keep their wits about them. No amount of programming can make up for the hard lessons of life... or the support of a family."

Tom took a sip of water.

"Our mission is very important. I saw it in your eyes while we were bathing, while you were giving me my promotion, while you were giving the briefing. I've seen eyes like that before: they're the eyes of someone driven by something... what it is is personal and probably classified, I am sure, but it must hold vast importance in your mind."

She's having delusions and feeling severe remorse it would seem. Perhaps her crew members died due to her actions or decisions? These were always the harder ones to pull grandpa out from. Nyton thought as he tried to imagine what he could do to snap her out of this.

"Mizuho-san, listen to me. You're having a nightmare. It's like a half-awake dream. The people you are seeing are not really there. I believe you when you say you see them but if they are truly dead then they cannot be there. They're gone Mizuho-san. They've all crossed the great divide between life and death. The people you see is yourself. They're the guilt you're feeling over their deaths. People you knew died and because you are alive you feel guilty. Try to tell yourself that. They are not the people who died, they are your guilt." Nyton said as he looked at her with as soft an expression he could manage.

Mom always was a lot better at this. he mentally sighed.

Kotori placed one hand to the side of her hips. "Are you worried this personal crusade of mine would be an obsession of a sort? Something that would blind me to the needs of the Miharu's crew?"

"There is a difference between following what you believe in and taking advantage of others," Tom said. "The art is in following your feelings without trampling over those of others."

He stood up and took a few steps away from Kotori, to give them space. His eyes met with Kotori's his grey orbs hardening as his next words hung in the air.

"Sometimes, it's impossible."

Those were the exact words that the two had shared in the baths that morning.

"For our empire, the mission is more important than the man, as it should be," he continued. "As you've said, the lives of the innocent depend on our actions. But does that mean that the lives on the mission bear no consideration?"

His expression softened, a melancholy smile barely breaking.

"It is our job to serve the empire, and we do so with unquestioning loyalty. You are my captain, and I trust your judgment..."

"...All I ask in return, ma'am, is that, if the time should come, you remember these words."

Mizuho narrowed her eyes almost shrewdly, then thrust her hands forward, to display her palms. "Blood on my hands, Nyton. Can't you see them? They're everywhere... their eyes look like... like glass..." She trailed off. "You can't see them... you..."

A look of harsh mistrust, then outright hatred crossed her over. "Don't touch me! GET OUT OF MY HEAD!" A shrill cry, almost a shriek, as she lunged past Nyton (offering a rather rough shove at him in an attempt to fling him off-course), dashing back for the hallway. A hallway that, to her, seemed not as the hallway of the Miharu, but as the stark white of that Elysian vessel she had been held on so many years past.

And there, some two steps past the doorway, she halted in her tracks.

"...Nyton-san?" A desperate cry. "...Nyton-san! Where are you..?"