Star ArmyⓇ

Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.

Approved Submission [SAoY] Type 41 Turbo Aether Plasma Shotgun + Ammo

SirSkully

FM of S6
Game Master
So Seeing as the accelerated charged plasma scatter gun type 30 is no longer in production and falls behind a bit in performance I figured I would update it, which is something I had intended to do back when the YSS Hana was a thing but that died and killed my mood for the project a bit until recently when I came up with my own SAoY plot and decided we needed some more weapons that could be used by both PA troops and non-PA troops c:

I also plan to get art after this has been approved, to paint a better image of how it works.
 

Wes

Founder & Admin
Staff Member
FM of Yamatai
Game Master
STO Fleet Member
I'd really like to see art for this. It looks good overall but I see some things that will come in the review - there's big paragraphs shoved into bullets and some sections of the page that don't have regular text in them (only lists, etc). American English in preferred on the wiki (e.g. armor instead of armour) so we should check for that. Also, the weapon seems pretty expensive and it should probably say something about how aether weapons are legally restricted from leaving Yamatai.
 

SirSkully

FM of S6
Game Master
I did say I will be getting art of this if it is approved.

Is it bad to have a lot of information after bullet points? The information is all relevant to the sections it is under and I was simply sticking to the way things are laid out in the weapons template. The weapon is 5,000ks cheaper than the LASR but I can alter that if needs be and I added more info about it being a restricted weapon.

Finally are there many things that need to be Americanised in the article? because obviously I use British English, what with me being an Australian and all that ^^;
 

Ametheliana

Sensei
Staff Member
Submissions Reviewer
FM of Nepleslia
FM of the Iromakuanhe
Game Master
Speaking on spellings:
colours -> colors
centimetre -> centimeter
armour -> armor

Also foregrip is coming up as a problem, but tbh some places on the net use it as one word. Maybe consider hyphenating it as “fore-grip”?
 

Alex Hart

Well-Known Member
Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...
[ ✔ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✔ 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✔ 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✔ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✔ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
[ ✔ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✔ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✔ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✔ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✔ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.

Here's some fixes this article still needs:

1. I don't know if the price is quite right yet, as it seems like it'd be a fairly expensive weapon. Let's try to figure out a good price for this, or if it would have one at all.
 

Wes

Founder & Admin
Staff Member
FM of Yamatai
Game Master
STO Fleet Member
Since the art hasn't been made yet and this is a Star Army weapon, I'm asking: Please make the gun the right color.

Acceptable colors for Star Army weapons:
  • Star Army Gunmetal (preferred for small arms)
  • Star Army Hull Paint (preferred for mecha and power armor weapons)
  • Dark gray/Matte Black (detail/secondary color)
  • RIKUPAT (camo version if applicable)
 

SirSkully

FM of S6
Game Master
Yeah I planned on it being mostly the light blue with a few grey/black highlights near the handle and maybe the pump mechanism.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Wes

Alex Hart

Well-Known Member
Hello! Let's see if this submission meets the requirements for inclusion in Star Army's lore...
[ ✔ ] 1. The destination URL should be a page in the appropriate namespace and titled lower_case_with_underscores
[ ✔ 2. The article is in the appropriate format and article template
[ ✔ 3. The article follows our wiki style guidelines, including: No forced line breaks, text after each section header, etc.
[ ✔ ] 4. The article is easily read and free of errors in spelling and grammar
[ ✔ ] 5. Links to other wiki articles are present as appropriate
[ ✔ ] 6. The article fits into the Star Army universe's space opera theme and technology levels
[ ✔ ] 7. Images in the article are hosted on Star Army's wiki and sourced responsibly (contact Wes privately if there's a concern)
[ ✔ ] 8. The article is original and doesn't contain copy-pasted content from other articles.
[ ✔ ] 9. The article complies with Star Army's rules in terms of damage ratings, speed limits, etc.
[ ✔ ] 10. The Faction Manager(s), if applicable, have posted approval for this article in this thread.


APPROVED
 

Alex Hart

Well-Known Member
Thanks again for submitting an article to the wiki! Time for some final steps for the reviewer...
[ ✔ ] 1. State clearly that the article is approved in the submission thread
[ ✔ ] 2. Move the wiki article to its permanent (destination) location on the wiki
[ ✔ ] 3. Move the submission thread to the Approved Submissions subforum or get a moderator to
[ ✔ ] 4. Edit the article to add a link to the approval thread in the OOC Notes section
[ ✔ ] 5. Link other articles to the approved article as appropriate (equipment lists, etc.)
 
Top