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Approved Submission [Valsh'Nar Empire] Species

Riko

Riko

Part Time Llama, Full Time Dude
Inactive Member
Submission Type: More than likely hostile alien species
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=valsh_nar-empire:species

Faction: Valsh'Nar Empire
FM Approved Yet? No?
Faction requires art? Would like some eventually

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? Yes
Contains New art? No
Previously Submitted? (Yes/No; explain reason if rejected)

Notes:

List of the Species that make up the VNE as well as some notes on culture and such for each.
 
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@Riko

So far, the changes with the Zazekku are good, though I suggest having the unarmored rating be at ADR 10, with add-on armor plate boosting it up to 20. That way, the gap between the two is more notable, and you can have a bit more flexibility in how tough the enemy you want to present to players can be. The mention of chitin and a few minor details will do as well, so there's nothing wrong with that. I would like you to move the DR out of the paragraphs and have it as a bullet point or two at the bottom of that section though. It clutters the text less, but is optional.

With the Pakoli though, I suggest a bit more detail with the limbs. Things like how thick they are in relation to the body (do they look thin or thick in comparison) and in which direction the legs jut out of the body, or how the knees are bent would also help a lot. Though it says 'humanoid', that description is pretty vague, so it's better to be specific and prevent misinterpretation. There's some spelling errors here or there as well, which you'll need to hammer out.
 
Welp after recovering from the holidays, did a bit of work for you to look at.
 
There's still the question of the artwork, though.
 
@Wes - no art requirement, though it would be preferred. Riko has already put a lot of time and effort into this, and though it's less than ideal, it's better to see how well the concept does in RP and is received by the players themselves. Should its reception be good enough, then artwork should be a concern. The bread and butter of online RP is text, and unless something is successful, resources for artwork should not be spent unless the creator specifically wants to.
 
@Wes - it specifically states "May be required". I believe it is a bad idea to hold back RP for this, as well as a bad idea to potentially waste site resources on something that may not succeed. If players flock to the idea, then I would be all for getting it five individual pieces of artwork. If that is not the case, then it is a waste of what could have gone to more needing subjects, which there are many, many of. Not only that, but this faction is an NPC faction meant to be antagonists, not a PC one. At this time, it is very ill advised to require art for this.
 
It says "3. Artwork is always required for new species."

And from the last poll we took, over 2/3rds of Star Army's membership supported that stance.
 
I see. I only looked at #1.

If you feel so strongly, go and overturn my decision; I know that for Riko, getting the resources is not easy, and I also know that the ultimate fate of his new species in RP is yet to be seen. I will not harm the site by impeding RP, nor will I harm the site by wasting its resources on something that may not succeed.
 
To be clear: They are approved and can be played now, but the site is obligated to get art for them somehow.
 
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