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Approved Submission [Yamatai] Shiro Suzume/White Sparrow Castle

Ametheliana

Ametheliana

Head in the Stars
Staff Member
🌸 FM of Yamatai
🎖️ Game Master
Submission Type: Location
Template Used: None
Submission WIP URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:shiro_suzume_castle
Submission Destination URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=location:shiro_suzume

Faction: Yamatai
FM Approved Yet? No @Wes
Faction requires art? No

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? Yes
Previously Submitted? No

Notes: Spoopy haunted castle for Halloween times. If more is needed to justify the spoopyness, I can get into it. Would rather have the causes come up in RP, though.
 
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How tall is the Torii gate - is it huge, tiny, person-sized?

How long are the docks and what size boats are there? Are they galleons, punts, longboats?

Couple of missing spaces after full stops in the first paragraph.

The middle picture still has a bullet point.

Torii gates and the other religious iconography aren't a real thing in SARP.

You'll need to make its wiki if you want it to be a part of this article - as per the current Shinto article.
 
Last edited:
She enchanted the castle ground in an attempt to purge the spirits
Click to expand...
Penned to Mrs. Ametheliana from the desk of Mr. Davis:

Esteemed madam,

I regret to inform you of an important matter which you appear to hitherto be apparently unaware. The matter, which could become an obstacle to the expeditious approval of your submitted article, is that the article makes references to spirits and magics. These references to the supernatural seem less than optimally appropriate for the technology-focused setting in which the Star Army roleplay is conducted.

Respectfully,

Wes Davis​
 
The grounds has an onsen, a lake, and likely a well somewhere I forgot about. There's lots of water for the approved magical elements in the setting. Not only that, I have the elf FM's guidance. He said there should be more AvaNet trickery going on, but I want to save dabbling too deep into AvaNet for later. I can push that time ahead if what I say next doesn't make you realize it is canonical for an elf to enchant water and blow your socks off at the same time!
The art of turning this femtomachine-suffused water, which is normally quite mundane, into the sort of magic potions that can produce various astounding and interesting affects, is an art that is guarded jealously by the Xiulurians to the point where it is almost never performed for profit or traded. In the rare instances that it does become a commodity, the price that is paid for it is excessively high - to the point where only one or two potions are traded a year. These potions are such miracles of technology that the actual engineering and science involved has eluded every major national understanding to date. To purchase an elvish potion is essentially to buy a small act of God.
Click to expand...
 
She tried to purge the spirits she felt were in the castle.In response to Eth:

How tall is the Torii gate - is it huge, tiny, person-sized?
Added sizes- this is one thing I did not do.

How long are the docks and what size boats are there? Are they galleons, punts, longboats?
It says the size in the article already of the docks. The article already says in it the article that there are "few row and sailboats".

Couple of missing spaces after full stops in the first paragraph.
Got it

The middle picture still has a bullet point.
Ok

Torii gates and the other religious iconography aren't a real thing in SARP.
You'll need to make its wiki if you want it to be a part of this article - as per the current Shinto article.
What Immortal said.

In response to @Wes:
"She tried to purge the spirits she felt were in the castle." Rectified the sentence.
 
It's been over a week and it's disappointing that none of my Settings Submission Moderators have looked at this and posted.

I am therefore approving this myself.

APPROVED
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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