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Approved Character YSS Ryujo-Argena Serket

Typically deceased parents are still listed under social connections just with "(Deceased)" next to the name.
 
What planet did her parents die on?
 
The skills section is optional, but so long as it's there, it'd help to have more specifics. Especially under Engineering and Construction, it doesn't tell me much about what she can do under those headings. Does she have any specialties? As a combat engineer, it also might be worth mentioning if she knows how to use weapons that aren't covered by the Star Army Common Skills. The Star Army Infantry occupation page might have some inspiration. According to the SACS page, the ability to drive (two specific) light vehicles is already implied, if you want to trim or expand on that.

I'm fine with the rest. This isn't a plot where I need a backstory I can 'work with', since the focus is on investigation, exploration, and combat, rather than on the characters, to put it simply. I like the personality section. The physical description doesn't tell me much outside of the bullet points, I don't know what a 'function over form' person looks like. Stocky, maybe? You can delete the two empty fields, it's not critical for us to know her weight.

So... Approved.
 
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It looks fine. The physical description is 'nondescript' said in fifty-one words--about half of which describe her personality, not her appearance--and I'm still mostly ambivalent about how useful the skill section is, but I'm not concerned about either. There's no reason to invent more unless you'd enjoy doing so.
 
I'm not sure what you're asking for skills-wise. Do you want a list of every specific thing she can do? And the nondescript is basically the point, although I should comb through that for personality I guess...
 
Hmm. I looked through my sheets for an example, but that just made me realize how messy the skill sections are in them. Naffie's especially is too detailed. The best example of providing examples among them is Trendsetter's, though I still wasn't anywhere near concise with it. The only concise one is Navian's:
  • Star Army Common Skills, with additional training in rifles, grenades, and blunt weapons.
  • Star Army Infantry Training with emphasis on wilderness survival and light infantry tasks.
  • Basic officer training, and advanced use of a Ke-M2-E3000 Leader Support Pack.
  • Adept at the use of personal shield technology, with or without powered armour.
  • Capable of flying under her own power, and performing aerobatic maneuvers.
  • Able to create silver jewelry and shell crafts, and work with soft gemstones.
I'm not asking for more--I can't hold you to higher standards than I've held myself to, and I apparently need to remind myself that good writing isn't about using more words, especially when it comes to character biographies. You can use this list for inspiration if you'd like.

I do like the personality description you put in the physical description section, even if that's technically not where it goes. I was just observing that aside from that, you didn't need to write a paragraph of description just to say that the character had no defining features aside from the ones you'd already listed. Doing something unnecessary isn't the same as doing something wrong, otherwise none of my characters would have been approved.
 
You can edit thread titles with "thread tools" on the upper righthand corner.
 
I'm not a mod of this forum, though. Here is a screenshot.

ai.imgur.com_M7J9Gtj.png
 
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