After Caine spoke, Tesuro merely stood by idly and listened. He did not like speaking about himself and bearing his interests and dreams to others. No, he preferred to keep those things bottled up inside for the most part. Still he kept on a light smile, so as not to imply any discontent with the questions being asked while the others spoke. Kiyoe's interest in sparring and the art of the swordplay did not come as a surprise to Tesuro and likely to anyone else; she was the only person on the ship who carried a blade around with them, and that was certainly enough to draw a basic picture of the types of things she enjoyed. Though Tesuro wanted to say something such as "Oh! You enjoy swordplay? So do I!" or "I like a good spar every now and then, how about we pair up?", but he could not force himself to say things for the simple fact of being nice and relatable. It felt too much like lying. He felt as though he should have been able to make himself more relatable, but so far it seemed like he had only been distancing himself from the people with whom he would be working.
When Ichiro spoke, he was thoroughly surprised at his interesting in the art of drawing. At first he did not seem like one who would enjoy that type of activity, but obviously Tesuro was wrong in judging him in such a way. Despite the fact that Tesuro also enjoyed many art forms, he could not bring himself to make any conversation-starting comments with Ichiro. He wanted to--he could think of things to say and things to talk about...but he could not bring himself to let the words come from his mouth. The feeling depressed him a bit; he could engage in idle smalltalk with the two but could not get himself to say anything that would open him up even the slightest bit. Only twice had he been able to do this, and in two very isolated incidents: Kishou saw Tesuro's hyper-protective persona, and Kiyoko bore witness to Tesuro's passion. Both seemed like flukes to him, but they made him feel like he was actually part of a whole rather than an individual on the outskirts of some great collective. It was a feeling he wanted again.
When Caine addressed him, he snapped back to attention. "Oh, umm..." he stuttered. What were his interests? There were many: novels, writing, biology, paintings, drawings. But he still could not force himself to say any of those things. So he held up his hand dismissively and smiled just a bit more, "There isn't really much to say about me, Ionoche-chui." And just as he finished his shy statement, Kiyoko emerged from her office with the enlistees in tow. Automatically his eyes followed her and his smile became warm and comforting, rather than obviously forced. His eyes shined with a gentle glow, a glow that was natural to him but that he always forced away. Soon he noticed the way he was looking upon her, and he quickly looked down to the floor, almost ashamed. His smile disappeared and the shimmer in his green eyes escaped with them. He scolded himself, Tesuro don't let your heart feel so fluttered when you see her, you cannot let on what happened. It was only sex, you cannot love her--you don't even truly know her. And she certainly does not love you. It's only hormones, don't fool yourself...
But there was the other side, as all people must have, that countered, Sex can mean something. Maybe she does have an eye for you. Maybe you weren't just a one night stand. Maybe she wants to get to know you better! The two sides conflicted in his mind while he stared distractedly at the floor, obviously trying to hide something. But no matter how much this battle waged in his mind, the negative, "logical" side would always beat it and his own self-esteem down to the ground.