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Approved Character Ironix

She was a general for Frieza but left him and lived on Earth
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In order be approved, a character's got to fit the Star Army's setting. And in Star Army there's no DragonBall Z stuff, or Earth. You'll need to made some edits.
 
Star Army is a (mostly) self-contained sci-fi universe, so it doesn't include elements from the Dragonball series. There are elves and cyborgs, but there aren't any Saiyans. The current year on the standard calendar is 38, and an elf/cyborg would probably use that calendar instead of one that has a year 767, since most cyborgs are from Nepleslia and most elves are from Yamatai, both of which use it.

The rank Santo Hei is a Star Army of Yamatai rank, so a character that isn't part of the Star Army wouldn't have it. (A character that's a part of no organization doesn't have much use for a rank, anyway.) She could still be a fighter pilot even if she's independent, but a starting character wouldn't have their own fighter craft, so far as I know, so they'd want to look for someone to hire them who would supply one.

On the other hand, it looks like the character's preferred plot is Setarah Wing, which would make her an Iromahuanke in the Astral Vanguard, rather than an independent contractor. The Iroma do use a calendar that has a year 767, though the oldest character in that plot, who is over the hill indeed, was born in 820. A character born in 767 AR would have to have used total body alteration and gene surgery to restore themselves to young adulthood in order to still be able to serve in the Astral Vanguard.

Setareh Wing is mainly a mecha plot, so Ironix would probably be a VANDR pilot, not a fighter pilot. Her name is more appropriate for a character from Yamatai than for an Iromahuanke, though, and she seems to be described as an independent contractor, anyway, not an Astral Vanguard member. Her description seems fine, except that it's not really possible for her to have a close relationship with someone from another universe.

There is no 'cyborg language', and if there's a language unique to elves, it's never been mentioned before. The Trade language and Yamataigo (which are equivalent to English and Japanese respectively) would be the most likely languages for an elf cyborg to speak, though maybe they could also have some way to communicate in binary code (even if this isn't a standard for robots and cyborgs in this setting.)

All the weapons mentioned exist, and power armours are indeed a major feature of the setting, though it can be difficult for independent characters to gain access to powered armours. Yamatai, which uses them the most, does not hire mercenaries or loan out its equipment. For the background of one of my characters, I described a mercenary cruiser this character could have once piloted before she went freelance, if you'd like to work that in, somehow.
 
Navian said:
Star Army is a (mostly) self-contained sci-fi universe, so it doesn't include elements from the Dragonball series. There are elves and cyborgs, but there aren't any Saiyans. The current year on the standard calendar is 38, and an elf/cyborg would probably use that calendar instead of one that has a year 767, since most cyborgs are from Nepleslia and most elves are from Yamatai, both of which use it.

The rank Santo Hei is a Star Army of Yamatai rank, so a character that isn't part of the Star Army wouldn't have it. (A character that's a part of no organization doesn't have much use for a rank, anyway.) She could still be a fighter pilot even if she's independent, but a starting character wouldn't have their own fighter craft, so far as I know, so they'd want to look for someone to hire them who would supply one.

On the other hand, it looks like the character's preferred plot is Setarah Wing, which would make her an Iromahuanke in the Astral Vanguard, rather than an independent contractor. The Iroma do use a calendar that has a year 767, though the oldest character in that plot, who is over the hill indeed, was born in 820. A character born in 767 AR would have to have used total body alteration and gene surgery to restore themselves to young adulthood in order to still be able to serve in the Astral Vanguard.

Setareh Wing is mainly a mecha plot, so Ironix would probably be a VANDR pilot, not a fighter pilot. Her name is more appropriate for a character from Yamatai than for an Iromahuanke, though, and she seems to be described as an independent contractor, anyway, not an Astral Vanguard member. Her description seems fine, except that it's not really possible for her to have a close relationship with someone from another universe.

There is no 'cyborg language', and if there's a language unique to elves, it's never been mentioned before. The Trade language and Yamataigo (which are equivalent to English and Japanese respectively) would be the most likely languages for an elf cyborg to speak, though maybe they could also have some way to communicate in binary code (even if this isn't a standard for robots and cyborgs in this setting.)

All the weapons mentioned exist, and power armours are indeed a major feature of the setting, though it can be difficult for independent characters to gain access to powered armours. Yamatai, which uses them the most, does not hire mercenaries or loan out its equipment. For the background of one of my characters, I described a mercenary cruiser this character could have once piloted before she went freelance, if you'd like to work that in, somehow.
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Thanks for the help!
 
There are no Human-Elven-Cyborgs in the Iruotl System (where Setareh Wing takes place) there are Lavans Type Synthoids, but we already have one of those and I already kicked out my own NPC to make room for the one we currently have.

If you're fixated on a Human-Elven-Cyborg, you may have to look elsewhere in the setting. If you want to make an Iromakuanhe -which is a race of horned, empathic, and super neato humanoids- I'll happily accept you into the plot. But, as it is, this character can't fit in to Setareh Wing.
 
Ametheliana said:
There are no Human-Elven-Cyborgs in the Iruotl System (where Setareh Wing takes place) there are Lavans Type Synthoids, but we already have one of those and I already kicked out my own NPC to make room for the one we currently have.

If you're fixated on a Human-Elven-Cyborg, you may have to look elsewhere in the setting. If you want to make an Iromakuanhe -which is a race of horned, empathic, and super neato humanoids- I'll happily accept you into the plot. But, as it is, this character can't fit in to Setareh Wing.
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Any Cyborgs?
 
@Zack: Take over from here since this is for the 188604 plot.
 
Popping in as one of the 188604 GM's for comment, here.

First, please make sure you remove all references to external media. I'm not that familiar with Dragonball stuff, but relationships with trunks, and planet Saiya sound like something from that. I may well be wrong on that one, so sorry if I'm jumping the line of conclusions. Alyx Vance I think is from Half Life after a quick google?

This sort of thing isn't allowed because Star Army's stuff is written as its own canon thing, and is registered intellectual property and it may potentially cause legal issues. You're welcome to still make a character interrelated to all these outside IP's, but you'd not be allowed to use them as part of Star Army's setting's canon. If you wish to keep it, there might be something in the non-canon section of the site.

Second, please take a look at the character skill areas page, and read carefully. You are entitled to seven skills total, but you only have three listed. These three listed include one combat section which seems to roll together elements from the Combat, Physical, and maaaaybe Demolitions skill areas? Those should all be taken separately. Also I don't think elven is a language, and the setting's dialect of totally-not-japanese is called Yamataigo.

One thing I am noticing from that alone is that your characters skills are all geared to combat, and while there is combat in 188604, we are not a combat centric plot. 188604 at this time is more of a nationbuilding thing, so if you're after fighting and the thrill of battle, you may want to look at some other plots. Combat threads are few and far between at the moment for us, but they may become more prevalent as we finally sort out our tangle of plot threads. We always love new players to join us, but at the same time I'd prefer it if you get to do what you like rather than be bored with us.

If you're all about the punchy shooty kapow, and came to us at 188604 on recommendation from Ametheliana up there, I can say that cybernetics are not unique to Nepleslia, or 188604 as plotlines. You can freely be cybernetically enhanced and be a part of the Star Army of Yamatai, or just about any other faction. Which does bring me to point the third.

Third! You have no listed species. Cyborg isn't a race, so much as it is a physical state. Any race can be a cyborg, just as any race can be an amputee. If you're going for cybernetics, you should also probably note the extent of cybernetic modification, and what these modifications enable your character to do. Side note: I didn't read this pre-edit but there's chatter around about elves here? You'll probably need to talk to @Wes since elves are indigenous to Yamatai, and also quite rare. I'm not sure if they're even playable anymore, or if they can accept robot bits in their bobbins if they are playable.

You may also need to speak with him about the Santo Hei business. That's a rank in the Star Army of Yamatai, and if you have that but you're with us on 188604? You're a deserter, a traitor, or a spy. The last one being unlikely as this sheet says Ironix is a mercenary of some descriptor.

If you're still with us, this stuff will probably need some editing through.
 
Dumont said:
Popping in as one of the 188604 GM's for comment, here.

First, please make sure you remove all references to external media. I'm not that familiar with Dragonball stuff, but relationships with trunks, and planet Saiya sound like something from that. I may well be wrong on that one, so sorry if I'm jumping the line of conclusions. Alyx Vance I think is from Half Life after a quick google?

This sort of thing isn't allowed because Star Army's stuff is written as its own canon thing, and is registered intellectual property and it may potentially cause legal issues. You're welcome to still make a character interrelated to all these outside IP's, but you'd not be allowed to use them as part of Star Army's setting's canon. If you wish to keep it, there might be something in the non-canon section of the site.

Second, please take a look at the character skill areas page, and read carefully. You are entitled to seven skills total, but you only have three listed. These three listed include one combat section which seems to roll together elements from the Combat, Physical, and maaaaybe Demolitions skill areas? Those should all be taken separately. Also I don't think elven is a language, and the setting's dialect of totally-not-japanese is called Yamataigo.

One thing I am noticing from that alone is that your characters skills are all geared to combat, and while there is combat in 188604, we are not a combat centric plot. 188604 at this time is more of a nationbuilding thing, so if you're after fighting and the thrill of battle, you may want to look at some other plots. Combat threads are few and far between at the moment for us, but they may become more prevalent as we finally sort out our tangle of plot threads. We always love new players to join us, but at the same time I'd prefer it if you get to do what you like rather than be bored with us.

If you're all about the punchy shooty kapow, and came to us at 188604 on recommendation from Ametheliana up there, I can say that cybernetics are not unique to Nepleslia, or 188604 as plotlines. You can freely be cybernetically enhanced and be a part of the Star Army of Yamatai, or just about any other faction. Which does bring me to point the third.

Third! You have no listed species. Cyborg isn't a race, so much as it is a physical state. Any race can be a cyborg, just as any race can be an amputee. If you're going for cybernetics, you should also probably note the extent of cybernetic modification, and what these modifications enable your character to do. Side note: I didn't read this pre-edit but there's chatter around about elves here? You'll probably need to talk to @Wes since elves are indigenous to Yamatai, and also quite rare. I'm not sure if they're even playable anymore, or if they can accept robot bits in their bobbins if they are playable.

You may also need to speak with him about the Santo Hei business. That's a rank in the Star Army of Yamatai, and if you have that but you're with us on 188604? You're a deserter, a traitor, or a spy. The last one being unlikely as this sheet says Ironix is a mercenary of some descriptor.

If you're still with us, this stuff will probably need some editing through.
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You were wrong about Trunks and Saiya (they are purely made up by me for my character's history), but I will edit the stuff you pointed out. iam sorry about all this hassle, but it takes awhile to adjust to another world.
 
Well like I said, I don't know that setting. But it's all kewl.

And don't worry about hassle. We all know that digesting this setting for the first time is like sitting down to a dinner plate of bricks by now.
 
Dumont said:
Well like I said, I don't know that setting. But it's all kewl.

And don't worry about hassle. We all know that digesting this setting for the first time is like sitting down to a dinner plate of bricks by now.
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I fixed everything. Review please? :)
 
Keep in mind that ultimately it's up to Zack, so any input I have is advisory.

Main things seem to be that you are still entitled to four more skills, you're allowed to have less than the full seven but to a degree we (or at least I) do enforce your skills or lack thereof. Without further input on that we will be holding you to a character who is only able to fly ships and shoot guns, and I have already forewarned you about 188604 being presently somewhat combat light.

Your communications skill area still lists two languages which don't exist, and you're toting around a gun from the real world. Feel free to peruse our community made panoply of death for gear options! There's a lot of fun stuff in there and in general 188604's team doesn't really care about the usual starting gear limitation of 3000 currency's worth of stuff.
 
Well he's at work now I believe, so probably a few hours as of this post if he's got anything in depth to say about it since it would be hard for him to thumb type big blocks of text.
 
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