If you were supposed to get an email from the forum but didn't (e.g. to verify your account for registration), email Wes at stararmy@gmail.com or talk to me on Discord for help. Sometimes the server hits our limit of emails we can send per hour.
@Samael, try adding more emotion and depth to your character and posts. He's starting to look like a sex addicted 6 year old because there has been no real character development. I know you didn't get the best start but If your character becomes 2 dimensional he'll probably end up dead!
Give your readers something to read so they don't just see another face in the ships crew. You want your readers to build an emotional attachment to Samael Darkfire. Grammar will also assist you in this.
Instead of saying, "Sam go hug Akane" try saying, "Sam discreetly approached Akane as she carried the heavy load and coyly snaked his hand behind her waist. Sam began counting the seconds seeing just how long his devious action would result in a hug."
sure it takes longer but the reward is the intrest of your audiance and depth to your character. We already know Sam joined the Navy to get with a Neko, now you gotta show us his style. We dont just want to know what he thinks, we want to see how he thinks.
Grammar can be a pain too, this video should help but you gotta listen closely to the conversation. I even think you'll enjoy it
@Blizzard What do you mean in your post, Tony isn't in any armor other then a space suit, and is female. so unless I'm missing something, I have no clue what is happening. Also carry what?
Candon is alive. His back is severely burned, 2nd degree burns. His SPINE is slightly messed up. Major bruising on the backside of his whole body. the force of the explosion cracked a couple ribs and ruptured his eardrums(helmet was on but not secure). He can't hear.
Your description was pretty accurate. The only issue I saw was the defibrillator but it is a common belief that a defibrillator can fix a stopped heart. I had to double check that on the Internet. What stopped his heart was sheer force do CPR is the only thing that will restart it at this point. It's an artificial heart so the odds are favorable.
@Samael Since @Rizzo brought it up, I will say more detail is better. I know I might write sparse, but the more I have to work from, the more I tend to write out.
For the record, I write sparse because I'm always trying to challenge myself to convey things with simplicity.
Nope you are still here Scarlet, Wes has been rather inactive as of late. Candon is being medevaced now on the shuttle so be ready on the Eucharis proper to receive him. I will make a communication s posting to bring you back into the action if you like?