Star Army

Star ArmyⓇ is a landmark of forum roleplaying. Opened in 2002, Star Army is like an internet clubhouse for people who love roleplaying, art, and worldbuilding. Anyone 18 or older may join for free. New members are welcome! Use the "Register" button below.

Note: This is a play-by-post RPG site. If you're looking for the tabletop miniatures wargame "5150: Star Army" instead, see Two Hour Wargames.

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  • 📅 July 2024 is YE 46.5 in the RP.

"I don't think this is supposed to happen."

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Ken and Ichiro were both holding rocketlaunchers. "Whoo..what should we shoot at, Ichi." "Hmmm...how about that tiny chibi on the ground."
 
Michio returned from his toilet break in a particularly bad mood - for no particular reason really, just the sort of bad mood he was liable to fall into now and again. To make himself feel better he'd picked up his Emrys Industries Sniper Rifle on the way (which all employees were invided with for some reason) and was carrying it as he re-entered the kiosk. And the first thing he saw was some jerk standing behind the counter. His counter. Eating a burger he hadn't paid for.

Full of fury he strode towards the figure, extending himself to his full considerable frame, and socked him with the but of the rifle. "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING!?" He shouted.
 
Asher, had finally achieved his goal, a burger, a delicious, juicy, mouth-watering burger. He was finally sinking his teeth in until he heard an angry yell, then-


WHAM

"OMG" was the set of letters rushing through his mind at the moment. He didn't know why O, M, and G popped up. Then again, he couldn't really tell what had just struck the back of his head. He turned and saw a rather angry looking sniper...

"Eh... Hey man... That kinda hurt..." Asher rubbed his head.
 
"Eh ... hey man ... YOU'RE BEHIND MY COUNTER STEALING MY FOOD." Michio imitated the man before continuing with the shouting, grabbing Asher by the front of his shirt and pulling him over the counter, "THAT WILL BE 3ks !" He then became almost decidedly quiet, "That is unless you want to pay if off through the exchange rate of 1ks = 1 ruptured ligament."
 
Asher gave him a weird look, the guy holding his collar was a built as he was, and taller. Though he wasn't one to back down.

"Hey man, really, it's your fault for leaving that stand open." Asher said.

"I mean, if it was closed, I wouldn't have gotten in!" He exclaimed.
 
Michio sighed in the same particularly cold fashion, "So simply because the front door is open you think it's alright to go into a home?" He was still holding Asher by the front of his shirt, "And if a kiosk is not attended you think it's alright to steal food from it rather than waiting five, and I repeat five, minutes for the attendant to get back?"
 
Kokuten looked left and right, the tall guy was right and with a cold sigh like that, he didn't seem to be the all-to-forgiving guy. Then, a thought came to Asher, he grinned and went to round two.

"Okay, take this for example, say you walk onto a house and the door is wide open, theres no sign of anyone outside or inside? So what would be your conclusion? That either it was just abandoned or somethings wrong! That goes the same for food kiosks, you don't just leave them unattended like that. Someone will think something is wrong, like I did, and maybe even help themself to a snack!" Asher grinned, he was sure of himself this time.
 
"No, no you wouldn't. Since it's trespassing. You actually have to have had solid proof that there was something wrong which you were intervening to correct, and as far as I can tell you haven't corrected anything other than stealing food." Michio said calmly.
 
~KABOOM~

The sound was ear-splittingly loud, and Chigusa flew out of the sky and into Michio's Kiosk. Her eyes were wide open and her mouth was curled up into an insane smile. "WEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" she screamed, as the broke through the thing and obliterated the juicy burger. Soon afterward, hundreds of little pieces of debris started raining upon the kiosk, and a couple thousand fish started slamming into what remained of the kiosk.

"Oopsy"
 
"HELL NO!" Michio shouted, throwing Asher over his shoulder and storming up to Chigusa, "You! What excuase do you have for this? And before you start I warn you it better end with 'And of course I will pay for all the damages I have cause'".
 
Chigusa cocked her head to the side, and a large anime sweatdrop decided to slip down her face. "Eheheheh... See, I made this weather-control-device that was fish powered, but it backfired and -" Suddenly, a fish slammed into Michio's head. "HAHAHAHAHA! OH MY GOD, YOU SHOULD SEE THAT! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"
 
Michio allowed the fish to bounce of his head, "I'm afraid that was the wrong answer lassie." He drew his plasma pistol out from his belt and shot her through the head, before sighing and returning to the counter, "Boss, we need repairs."

From some unseen space Seru Emrys appeared, "That is no problem. For through some miraculous process by ability to exploit the nodal system to create effects not dissimilar to magic has returned!" The tall well built man in a perfect suit waved his hands and the building began to rebuild itself, except growing larger and larger until the kiosk was in fact the centre of an enormous castle - with no obvious exit to the outside, "I name this Castle Emrys. The first one to escape gets a cookie." Seru vanished, but not before restoring Chigusa to life.
 
Then, a huge metal box came out of nowhere and flattened Chigusa, then slid off into some other... Place. A floating head all-to-similiar to Lucien's wandered next to Chigusa. "Ar' ye okay, lassie?"

Chigusa then stood up without using her arms. How? Well she just sort of shot back up, we don't have to go into detail. Then she pulled a large piece of pork out of no where, devoured it instantly, and returned to normal size. "Yup, wear a helmet and you have nothing to be afraid of!"
 
Chisou was quietly weeping in a dark corner. Why and how she was alive in Castle Emrys when she was handily evaporated back on the Sakura and then forgotten, is a mystery. A mystery that will not be devulged, due to trade secrets.

"The afterlife is insane." she murmered between sobs.
 
"Did I hear an explosion?" Galar asked as he waled out of the back room and into the fish-strewn floor of the kiosk, still holding his other half of his philly on rye. He stepped on a fish and with a shout, he slid on the fish for at least fifteen feet before slamming into the opposite wall.
 
Luca and Luicen stood up amidst the confusion and got into a fistfight over who had the better meal. Luicen picked up Luca by his legs and flung him with minimal effort into the Kiosk.
"It takes more than that to get rid 'o me!" Luca called out as he rushed towards Luicen with his head down, ramming him in the gut and sending him into a table, smashing it in half.
"Ach lad, you're dead meat once I get ya!"
 
Asher laid on the ground for a few seconds after being thrown over the tall guy's shoulder. He twitched, sat up, and looked around to what had just happened.

"The hell...?" Asher scratched his head, he knew that there were some weird things in the universe, this had to be one of them. He looked over and observed the two people fighting eachother.

He wished he had a camera.
 
Luicen leapt to his feet and somersaulted over Luca, then delivering a single, powerful kick, sending Luca into the air, which had him come down with a sickening crash, leaving cracks in the pavement.
"WHY I AUGHTA!!" Luca roared as he picked himself up and let loose a barbaric flurry of punches aimed at Luicen's chest and head.
ORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORAORA...!! Came the Soldier's battlecry as he landed a final punch on Luicen's head, sending him flying into the air and over a building.
"OCH AYE, MARK ME WORDS, I'LL GET YE!!" Screamed the highlander as he disappeared over the horizon.
"God I love this Non-Canon backstage of the 'Starmy." Luca commented as he walked over to the Kiosk.
"May I have a hot dog with extra endorphins?" He asked politely.
 
Galar looked with amusement on his face as he saw Luicen fly out into the sky. He applauded Luca and patted him in the back.

***
Kirio was walking near the Kiosk when he saw his freind Luicen come flying out of the shop yelling bloody murder in his gruff scottish accent. He ran inside with his pistol drawn and started shooting at anyone near the hole in the wall where Luicen flew through.
 
Ran emerged from the nothingness and attacked the wall viciously, creating a large scale mural that looks like a giant phallus!

Except that's sword cuts into a wall shaped like an X, I'm just really nasty. :D

Chigusa looked at Ran and screamed "NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Ran replied quizzically. "Hm?" before recieving a fish barrage from the sky, which sent her reeling into the fifth dimension!
 
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