RP: YSS Miharu Mission 2, Day 2

Nyton made a lazy farewell motion with his hand as occupants began to leave. He tracked their movements behind him even while Kotori made her request of his presence. He raised an eyebrow when she asked him to turn around. "As you wish, Kotori-sama." he replied and moved into position. He was more than curious as to the nature of this event. Even while his primary eyes were no longer looking at Kotori he could not help but ruin the 'surprise' by watching with his peripherals. The thought struck him as amusing.

Kotori moved a bit behind him with a sloshing sound of water and then leaned towards him, her fingers coming to rest against the skin of his back and then moving up to massage some of his sore muscles. Massaging was one thing Kotori did well, but seldom had a reason to use it lately.

"New implants still feel sore?" she asked him.

"T-thanks." Yoroko stuttered. Guess it wasn't a one time thing... Yoroko mused to herself as she sat down. Once seated Yoroko started into her omelet. "How did you fare in the armor simulation Ashitaka-Heisho?" Yoroko looked over to Sanjuro as she asked, taking a pause from eating the delicious omelet.

"Not so much lately. Medications help to speed the healing along but the body still needs to take it's time to adjust and finish accepting the graft." Nyton replied simply. "That and I have never had a permanent hole in the back of my head before either." he remarked in regards to the data port that was now in full view for Kotori to see.

While Kotori was running her fingers over Nyton's back he could feel greater relief rushing in as the muscles relaxed. The touch of her soft hands was a welcome sensation to which he was certainly grateful. "I certainly appreciate this, Kotori-sama. You know how to care for your retainer." he said with a chuckle.

Kotori winced. "I can't imagine it must have felt very pleasant. I'm fortunate in that I don't have to endure having raw wounds for very long... but the process to heal after cybernetic surgery must be grueling."

The nekovalkyrja lifted one hand to brush one finger around the dataport very softly and then she returned to kneading his back muscles. "I'm worried about you overcompensating to make up for the handicap of the surgery being recent, especially seeing that Yukari pushed herself so hard yesterday. Try not to push yourself too hard, alright?"

Sora watched Sanjuro for a few moments and shrugged. "He might have some sort of social anxiety, it might take him a little while to adjust to the new surroundings," she whispered thoughtfully back. "I wouldn't expect him to be doing any dare parties anytime soon," she added with a soft smile before she sipped her orange juice.

She wondered if people had thought of her the same way when she joined the Sakura's crew or when she entered the Academy. Perhaps, she wondered idly to herself, I could figure out a way to work with Ashitaka to get him to settle down. Anxiety attacks during a battle would be bad and dangerous. But he's so.. nervous, I'll just have to figure out a way to be tactful about it.....

She smiled at Serizawa again as she set her glass back down, "How's your breakfast, Ichi-kun?" She asked thoughtfully again in her regular tone of voice. She didn't like the idea of doing nothing but whispering while at a meal with their fellow crew.

Ah, Fort ready, the place was still in the back of Kai's mind. soldiers jumping suddenly out of their seats was quite common, and Sanjuro doing such was nothing really new to him. he did look up, however, to see Yoroko standing next to the now erect Ashitaka. "Un, good morning, Yoroko-chan" Kai said, nodding her way before continuing to eat his omelette.

While everyone had been talking and even as the Executive Officer passed out, the young Masako was busy pondering about a lot more important things in her mind. Though the thud had broken her concentration enough to pay attention to what was going on around her for that moment. And Yukari passing out so suddenly did give her cause to worry, but the moment the older neko had been taken into custody by the diligent Sigurd and compassionate Tom, Masako allowed her mind to wander again.

Before the interruption, she had been pondering a bit about her own inability to understand her subordinates...mainly the feisty Asher Westwood. He just seemed to be made of a completely different cloth compared to her. What was it that made him believe he couldn't lead? Or maybe...was he afraid of leading? She could only sigh in frustration when thinking of such things.

But during the interruption, she had caught a bit of the courting discussion. That caused her to go off on a tangent for a moment. Such things were thoughts she rarely courted, but they did come up once and a while. After all, she had always been the strange one out of her class. She didn't seem to push or seek out companionship in that manner, but she often wonder how it would be like.

Shaking her head, she pulled herself out of her daze of thought long enough to notice she was the only other crew member other than Kotori and Nyton. Rinsing her body off, the young warrant officer gathered her belongings and made for a quick, yet silent get away to the changing room.

Nyton listened to the concern in Kotori's voice and caught sight of her expression. The gentle touch she spared around the dataport was also indicative of this concern. He could not help but smile a little. "I suppose I should be more careful. Nepleslian cybernetic surgeons are proficient enough to reduce the downtime after surgery. Minor procedures can sometimes take only a few days to recover with a final healing time of weeks. Nepleslians are not known for keeping things in moderation so the less recovery time we need the better."

The work of Kotori's hands were having their intended effect and she could feel the muscles in Nyton's back loosen further. He let out a deep breath as this occurred. "I have not had a massage like this in some time." he admitted.

"Well, I am glad that the level of proficiency of an amateurish chiropractor is turning up to be of good use," Kotori smiled as she continued into Nyton's lower back.

After a moment, she added: "You know, this is actually the first thing I did with Taisa Rufus after both he and I had come aboard the Mikomi. I had been just about to head off with my duffel bag to the bunk room when the Taisa invited me along to his suite - probably out of whimsy."

"Whenever I was training and ended up in bunkrooms, other nekos usually tended to stick to me like bees to honey. I wasn't looking forward to that, so ending up in with an attractive nepleslian in a much roomier Taisa's suite was not something I wanted to turn down. I ended up helping him settle and I killed time by showing off my massaging skills."

"That, and showing up on time for an inspection, probably was what caught his eye and had him express the desire to have me transfer on his ship. He actually promoted me to Ittô Hei for that, though he might have been sugar-coating the offer," Kotori finished the anecdote and moved to the side to examine Nyton's cybernetic arm, touching where organic and synthetic melded together. "Any great difference between the tactile stimuli from the skin over your own flesh to the prosthesis?"

Sanjuro quickly returned his seat to the upright position and re assumed prodding his breakfast as Yoroko found herself a seat. The medical officer stiffened up a bit more as she questioned his performance in the previous days simulations...he wasn't too proud of his overall assessment.

"I was able to survive long enough for the simulation to be completed. I had an accuracy rating of roughly 33.333% percent out of the three shots I was able to fire," Sanjuro named off the issues on the list that weren't entirely horrible...which was a slim list to recall, if he remembered correctly.

"...I...had a speed rating of 8..."

A very long, drawn out silence.

"...how did you do?"

"I did fairly well I guess." Yoroko said as she returned to her meal. "Good morning Kai-san, Yuril-san." Yoroko said pausing in between bites. This omelet is pretty good! Yoroko thought to herself as she sucked on another piece of the omelet in her mouth. "Did all of you sleep well?" Yoroko asked to the table as a whole.

ON:

Tom moved quickly; he did not want to bring any attention to himself nor did he have the time for idle chitchat. Kotori had given him a tight deadline to help Yukari recover from her self-inflicted exhaustion. He slid into the kitchen, past those eating, and rummaged through the storage area for easy-to-eat food. A few more juice packets, some melt-in-your-mouth chocolates, a can of creamy soup and a couple sandwiches were all he could carry in his folded arms. Weaving back the way he came, he then proceeded to Yukari's room, where the large Sigurd greeted him.

"Ok, let me in," he said, shifting the contents of the items in his arms lest they spill out. "Has Yukari's condition changed any?"

"Negative," the tall android said. "She appears still to be sleeping."

"Well, she'll need to eat some more if she's to regain her energy," Tom replied. "Thanks for your help. Please make sure nobody disturbs us unless its an emergency." He slid past the android and into the room.

Sigurd nodded as he stepped aside. Once the door closed, he returned to his position.

Inside, Yukari was still wrapped in the towel, placed gently in the pitbed. She had a peaceful enough expression on her face, but she still had bruises on her body.

Tom walked up to the pit bed and dropped the items he had collected near Yukari's feet. He then grabbed one of the juice packets -- a nice fruitpunch -- took the white straw from it and jabbed it into it. "Open your mouth," he said softly while nudging her. "You need to drink some more."

It took a moment for Yukari to respond ... but she did, without opening her eyes. Her lips parted, her tongue steadied the straw, she latched onto it — and drained it in a single breath. "Hahh," she gasped after it was done.

The Yamataian took another juice packet and did the same, putting it near her lips. "Open your eyes when you have enough energy to." Despite the softness of his voice, the words were spoken with clinical detachment.

The box was dead within another breath. But Yukari's eyes didn't open. She spoke though, quietly. "What happened?"

"Well, you came into the public baths, promptly fainted and had to be carried back to your room by Sigurd," Tom said. "Miharu reported that you did some kind of training simulation without the safeguards and ended up almost killing yourself." He reached for the can of soup, took his utility knife out and jabbed a hole into it.

Yukari's mouth winced. "Sou ... " She 'looked' away by turning her head. "I did not eat something in time. Thank Sigurd for me, when he is available, please?"

"Already taken care of," Tom replied. "Can you sit up? I have some soup for you to drink."

The Neko seemed to freeze for a few seconds, then abruptly sat up. Her ability to move was still being measured by her OS. "Sanjuro ... poked Miyoko. It was a very strange thing to witness, and I was distracted."

"I see," Tom said. "Drink this. Chowder. It has many calories." He brought the soup to her lips and tilted the can.

Yukari could not smell yet, so she took what was offered to her. She was surprised by the thick taste of it, but it was good as far as she was concerned, and she gulped several mouthfuls down. "Mmmmmph."

Tom sat next to Yukari at the edge of the pit, but did not go in. Instead, he held the can away from his body, sticking it out like a bottle to a nursing baby.

Yukari soon had drained the whole can. When she was done, she moved her head away from the can and nuzzled against the stacking wall of the pit bed. She had enough energy to stretch her legs. "Who saw me pass out?"

"Kotori, Nyton, Masako, probably a few others, I really wasn't paying attention," Tom replied as he put the can down and reached for a sandwich. "You'll have to chew for this one. Tuna sandwich."

Yukari's face looked glum as she took the sandwich in her hands. She did not try and eat immediately. "Aiyaa," she sighed. "Are they displeased?"

"How should I know, Yukari," Tom replied calmly. "Would you be?"

" ... I suppose I would," Yukari said, taking a bite of the sandwich. The tuna did not lighten her mood any. "I could not sleep."

"And you decided to get a workout, I see." Yukari couldn't see this, of course, but the Yamataian crossed his arms. She could, however, hear his audible, frustrated huff. "Has your energy returned?"

"Not entirely ... but my higher functions are operational." She did not try to look at him; his feelings were obvious. "Thank you, for helping me."

"...Kotori charged me with your full recovery by noon," Tom said. "All of my other responsibilities have been placed on hold until that time. How long until your systems are fully operational?"

"Do you need anymore food? I have another sandwich."

Yukari nodded to the sandwich, her hands reaching out to find it. "I will be back to normal with in an hour. My bruises must heal after that." She was feeling bad about having Tom care for her under orders ... she was sure he would do it anyway, but he sounded upset. She did not want to think about Kotori.

Silence greeted her for a few moments before Tom spoke once more. "Yukari. Look at me, please."

Yukari turned her head to face him, but her eyes did not open. She grimaced with effort to try and get them to open, and finally, one did. She looked upon her lover and tried to smile a little.

Yukari wasn't greeted by the pearly whites of a grinning Tom, but the frigid expression of a scorned Raltean. "Yukari, I want you to understand something. I did not dance with a fool. I did not take her into my house. I did not fall in love with her and promise her my life with the ribbon she wears on her wrist. Do you understand?"

Responses competed inside Yukari's mind. One was capitulation: She had been an idiot, and Tom was right to scold her. The other was pride: She had killed a simulated NH-17T. She had fought hard, and in the end, she had won, if poorly. How would he have lasted? And she was doing it for the crew! For him!

She visibly took a breath in, let it settle inside of her, then expelled it. "I understand, Tom. I apologize, for my foolishness."

Tom took his own deep breath. "Really...? You probably knew how this was going to turn out, so why did you do it?" Tom looked up. "Miharu, can you show me the information regarding Yukari's simulated battle?"

Miharu did as instructed, providing the simulation results as presented to Yukari after the battle.

The Raltean's brow furrowed as he read the volumetric display showing the results. "3.78 out of 100." He repeated the figure while shaking his head. "My lover almost killed herself for a 3.78..." He visibly trembled at the statement, appearing as if he was bearing the weight of the world on his shoulders at that moment.

Yukari said nothing. The results spoke for themselves. It was not fair that her battle probability was considered so low, she felt, but it was accurate — she should have used a sidearm. It did not matter now; she was being passively berated.

In an instant, the empty can of soup was across the room, clanging against the wall. "Damn it! What did I do wrong, Yukari?! How can I make this better for you?!"

Yukari recoiled into the wall of the pit bed, arm up defensively. She looked into Tom's eyes with her one and actually felt ... scared. Afraid. She shook her head, mumbling, "I -- I don't know; I do not think you were wrong!"

"But yet you nearly threw your life away on some fucking suicide simulation!" He stood up, got some much needed distance away from Yukari. "Everything, Yukari! The sex... I gave my body to you, and only you, without compromise, without hesitation! I took you into my town and my home... my parents they approve of you! I danced with you, I shared my mind, my essence, my love for you! Everything was for you! Tell me why, Yukari, why did you do this to yourself?! What else can I give you?! My blood? My life? How can I stop you from doubting yourself, from hurting yourself?! 3.78!" He turned around. "Yukari, I'm asking you very seriously," Tom said, approaching her once more. "How can I make this better? What can I do to ease your mind?"

By the end, tears had welled in Yukari's one functional eye. The look on her face was not one of sadness. Doubt was there, perhaps some anger. But she kept her eye on him, sparkling green rimmed with white. Her body looked a bit lifeless, as if all her energy was being put into keeping her head steady.

" ... You can not exist," she said, slowly. "Before you, I had no desire to fight, Tom-san ... but I love you. And I do not want you to die. So I must be ready, to ensure you do, not die." She was sniffling, just a little. "It was stupid of me. But I was giving you, what you, offered me. I did not do it very well." Her eye lowered, and she started to shiver. "I love all you do for me ... I am sorry, I did, not, want to, treat, it, poorly ... "

Tom slowed his movements, hesitating just a moment. Then, he slid into the pit next to Yukari, taking her shoulders in his hands and looking down. "Yukari, listen to me, please," he spoke slowly, with a touch of sadness in his voice. "I'm not going to die. Stop worrying yourself to death about it... stop hurting yourself to protect me. That's not making me happy. I'm happy when you smile, when you talk to me, when you send me cute text messages on my communicator. I'm happy when I'm with you, no matter what we're doing." He brought his head up and looked into her one eye, his own sparkling with emotion. "Stop sacrificing yourself and just... live with me, for better or for worse, no matter what happens."

Yukari listened to Tom. Really, truly listened. She had not done it quite like this before. To listen what he really wanted ... but she did not understand it. Did he want her to not be able to protect them? "I, want to ... But, we are, at war. I must be ready; it is, what I was, made for ... before I met you." In Tom's hands, Yukari seemed so small, still shivering. "I do not know how, to be ready ... I do not know how."

Tom shook his head. "You don't have to fight this whole war by yourself. You have the crew. You have me. You have all of Yamatai to help you, but that's only if you let us. We're soldiers in this together... trust us." He paused, collecting his thoughts despite his emotion. "But, at the same time, we're living, breathing people too. We have to balance the soldier with the person inside. We have hopes and dreams. My dream is to be with you, Yukari, as long as I can be, whether it is one day or one hundred years. ..."

He sighed, a deep, long sigh. "I... I don't know myself, but I want to be with you, and I don't like it when you hurt yourself like this, so just, please, stop..."

"I want to be with you, for all my life," Yukari said, eye pointed down at the bed. "But I ... I cannot, give up. I am not ready, for what is ahead of us. I must become ready, Tom ... I do not, want to fail you, or the crew." Her breathing was deep, but fast. "I am tired of being weak, Tom ... I want to know I am ready to protect you."

"You're not weak, though! You're a Shosa! You deal with high-pressure situations all the time and we've come out of them well enough!" Tom didn't know exactly what he wanted to say, but, the words just spilled from his mouth. "You're good enough! You're good enough to protect me! You did it! You're strong!"

Yukari shook her head quickly, her shoulders hunching, her head down. "It is not that! ... It is fighting. I am not a fighter, Tom, and soon we will fighting, constantly, without pause for rest or even a breath. We will be consumed. How can I lead if I cannot do what my crew can do?"

Tom leaned forward and hugged Yukari tightly. "Listen to yourself. What are you saying? That you're not a leader because you can't do what the crew can do? Does that mean you're not fit to lead because you can't lead a powerarmor team like Masako can, or analyze a tactical situation like Nyton? You can't lead because you can't perform surgery as well as Sora... or cook a salmon steak with the same skill as me?" He found himself smiling at that last sentence. "Please! You're focusing on your shortcomings when you should be focusing on your strengths! Do you think Kotori can do what Sora can? What I can? No, she relies on her crew to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done... she's probably a horrible cook anyway, you know..."

Laughter burst from Yukari — short, but sweet. Her worries were not gone, but they were tempered some, for now. "The boarding simulation ... that is what concerns me, Tom. That I will not be ready in that situation ... it frightens me. You are right; we must be as a team." She sniffed and nuzzled into her lover's chest, her arms coming around him. "I worry too much ... I am sorry, that I worry you so, Tom."

"Do me a favor then," Tom said as he slowly laid Yukari on her back, the warm smile back on his face. He brushed his cheek against hers before meeting her lips in a smooth, tender kiss. "Stop worrying and just... be."

Yukari's eyes closed as she was kissed, and both opened once the kiss was broken. She put on a brave smile, but Tom could see there was acceptance and determination in her eyes. She said she would try, and she meant it.

END

Nyton moved his arm to allow Kotori a better angle to examine it. He shook his head and smiled slyly at the mention of Rufus. "No surprise there. He was chasing after a cute neko the moment I met him. I'm sure there was more than whimsy behind that invitation." he said with a chuckle.

"There is a difference right along the area where the implant meets the flesh. Its noticeable at first but after it heals it sort of dulls down until it blends together. I can adjust the calibrations too but my body gets used to it over time so long as there are no stark differences." Nyton explained.

Kotori responded to his smile with her own and edged to his side, the massage over. "It's so ironic to wish to emulate humans, and see that the very humans you'd like to take as example turn out wanting to replace themselves with synthetic parts. I wonder how the tale of Pinocchio would have ended if Geppetto would have gone and amputated himself to get wooden limbs. Would Pinnochio's desire to have been a normal boy changed?"

Nyton turned around so he was no longer leaning forward against the tub's edge but sitting down next to Kotori. His body had certainly benefited from the massage. He ran the synthetic fingers of his hand through his short hair a couple times before he looked at them. "It is the paradox of being human I guess. Whether physically or emotionally, how much humanity does one want to possess or lose? Does having a human shaped body even matter?"

With a shrug Nyton set his hand down next to him. As he did so he thought he felt it brush past Kotori's leg ever so faintly. She was much closer than he realized and there was brief internal conflict as he turned his head to look into her eyes. He almost began to apologize but dismissed the notion as he convinced himself that he either imagined it or she hadn't noticed. Stray thoughts were quickly clamped down with 'cold shower memories' yet everytime he looked at Kotori's eyes he was drawn to the way they shimmered like the gems they resembled.

"We have been analyzing ourselves for so long yet the answer eludes us still. Perhaps we are too close to the matter to ask even the right questions." Nyton quickly said.

Kotori seemed to find his statement intriguing. She leaned her head on one side as she returned his stare. "Are you suggesting that we should just accept ourselves for what we currently are instead of pining for something we might not be? For example, should I resign myself to being a combat android and live on my life accepting that I am a nekovalkyrja and that I will never be human enough?"

Miharu, privy to the discussion going on between Tom and Yukari, said: "Well, perhaps love is something which transcends race and specie."

Kotori frowned and edged her eyes away from Nyton's as she spoke back to the ship. "This has nothing to do with love Miharu."

"Does it?" The ship argued back. "You talk about accepting yourself. There's an entry in literature that mentions that you cannot truly come to love another before you learn to love yourself."

"That's just fiction," Kotori shook her head.

"Well, they call it science-fiction because it's plausible." The ship paused and added: "I see large parallels of this in Tom and Yukari's relationship. Part of Yukari seems to feel like she is entirely undeserving of the love Tom seems to grant her, and Tom struggles past that, past the inferiority complex that nekovalkyrja have as people to teach her that she is a person. Keyword: person. Tom doesn't want Yukari to just go and latch to him because he's giving her affection; he also doesn't want her to go in overdrive and try to earn it in doing more than just being herself. What he wants is someone to share his life with and that sharing has to be equal. Yukari has to feel she deserves it and that she has a right to it or else she herself would not be living up to Tom's love and trust in her. That, in large parts, seems to have connotations with what I said before about accepting oneself."

Yukari, in her sleep, sneezed onto Tom's chest. She shivered in his arms, but did not wake up.

Nyton glanced up towards the ship and then back to Kotori as he acknowledged the newest participant to their discussion. "I had not meant that but partially what you suggested, Miharu. Humanity is something of an ideal rather than a state. A person is a person not because of what they are made of but what they make of themselves. If a combat android decided to go against programming because for whatever reason they have chosen not to be a weapon but something else is a human decision. Regardless of what they were made to be, that decision they have made defies logic. A defiance made in many human thought processes. Love certainly defies logic at times. I have to agree somewhat with Miharu on this subject though. From my observations, those who do not love or at least come to acceptable terms with themselves, while capable of loving others, find their love to be flawed. Whether concious or subconciously they harbor an insecurity or even self-loathing that causes them to doubt the love someone has towards them. Whether conciously or subconciously, acceptance of the self is so critical it touches on almost every single concept of life."

Nyton then looked in front of him as he further articulated with his hands. "However, just because you accept yourself for what you are does not mean you have to live with it. If anything, such acceptance gives insight into what one would want to change to be more human."

With a curious expression Nyton looked over Kotori before meeting her eyes. "That which determines how human you are is not what you lack but what you possess. If you have the drive to be human then by all means it is just a matter of time and experience. Being human is not a goal, it is a way of life. There are so many different ways to live as a human even."

"What is it that you want out of being human, Kotori?" Nyton asked.

"Hm? Ah, I slept very well, yoroko, no need for socks tied over my ears, even. And the awakening? not being shot at was a plus, though I suppose I was more disoriented than if I had been shot." Kai said, chuckling. "This whole place seems a walk in the park compared to Fort Ready, in any case. heck, maybe the niceness of Miharu will shove the bad memories from Fort Ready out." The blonde Yamataian finished.