YSS Kaiyō II
So, Care would be working under Eden this mission, and she wasn't entirely sure how she felt about it. Though the two had previously had a heartfelt connection on a night where they wandered from sleep, little had truly followed it. A solitary moment, one that didn't repeat, and one she felt quite poorly about. Why didn't she follow it up, why didn't she pursue anything that was born of it? She knew the answer, as humiliating as it was, as much as she wished to support Eden, she was too selfish to admit her own faults any further. It was a burning rock in her gut that felt as if it slowly sank deeper, ever slowly burning through all it touched as it melted towards her core. She had made a mistake that night, she should have simply been there for Eden rather than pushed her problems as well, perhaps then she wouldn't have pretended that such a night didn't exist.
But time could heal such a fault, couldn't it? It's not as if either of them were running short on time, being under Yamatai basically guaranteed the option of immortality, assuming one believed that their soul transfer technology truly worked as intended. She tried to ignore thinking about it as much as possible, though she was 'backed up' she intended to never have to use it, after all she did not age, and maintenance could keep her running indefinitely.
She moved to group up with those she was selected with, six others, seven including her. Did she know them all that well? Absolutely not, at best she knew Eden and Mark beyond names. Again, another fault, too many of those, far too many. Months and she had neglected to know more than a handful of people further than name, she had no one to blame so the only direction she could put forth the toxic blame was on herself. She could rectify it, of course, she just needed time. She had so much of it, why did it feel like it kept slipping through her fingers?
"Alright everyone!" Her cheery voice projected no negative emotion, the normal buzz of he artificial drone staying throughout her words. She would beckon and call over those who were in the group. "Is everyone prepared and ready? Let's make sure we're ready to act upon orders at a moments notice." The words felt unnatural but they didn't sound it, they sounded as legitimate as everything else she said. Get them ready, like a mechanism ready to launch, only waiting for a single spring. She couldn't falter, not here. What was she trying to prove? And who was she trying to prove it to?
She wanted to prove she could do the work. She didn't care about promotions, she couldn't care less about her rank, none of that mattered, all that mattered was she proved it to herself, out of pure spite for her own self image.