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Approved Submission R1-SPA, or "Revenant" power armor

Jack Pine

Inactive Member
Submission Type: Light Power Armor
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:uso:skyguard:project_spectre#systems

Faction: USO
FM Approved Yet? (Yes about a month ago)
Faction requires art? (Yes/No)

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (No)
Contains New art? (No)
Previously Submitted? (No)

Notes: as said, i realize there are possibly more than a few errors and any help correcting those would be appreciated.
 
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Worked on this for about a month now, sorry for any errors, I have ever made a power armor submission before. I realize as well that the armor, shield, and body ratings are probably wrong. I tried to get Zack to help me but I guess he's been busy or something of late.
 
@Jack Pine - Not to be rude, but could you try to avoid triple-posting, please? I'd recommend using the "Edit" function instead - it's a lot more "orderly" and doesn't cause a barrage of notifications.
 
The appearance section is way too long. Can you make it more concise?
 
did a few grammatical corrections and removed unnecessary details. Still unsure on how much clearer I need to make it as I described in detail to give the player a clear picture of what the full suit looks like, and am confused on how else to describe, or explain it.
 
Jack, get some art. If I need to pay like 20$ or so just let me know who to send the money to
 
Ametheliana said:
The appearance section is way too long. Can you make it more concise?
Click to expand...
I disagree, I think it's okay. It's nice to see such effort put into giving an item a text description, as most submitters aren't this thorough.
 
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