Approved Submission R1-SPA, or "Revenant" power armor

[Jack Pine]

Submission Type: Light Power Armor
Submission URL: https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:uso:skyguard:project_spectre#systems

Faction: USO
FM Approved Yet? (Yes about a month ago)
Faction requires art? (Yes/No)

For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? (No)
Contains New art? (No)
Previously Submitted? (No)

Notes: as said, i realize there are possibly more than a few errors and any help correcting those would be appreciated.

 

[Jack Pine]

updated

 

[Ametheliana]

Almost none of the requested changes have been made.

Fix DRv3

Explain armor coverage in drawbacks.

You need to write a weapon article for commander variant's heat blades. "The commander variant of the R1-SPA comes with arm mounted twin heat blades that can be activated and deployed when needed."

 

[Jack Pine]

on it, should have those done today

 

[Zack]

I fixed the things, mostly be removing stuff.

The heat blades can be submitted separately later.

 

[Ametheliana]

Approved

 

[Jack Pine]

Zack you didn't ask to do that. I would have liked to have been asked first. Are you gonna help me write that article? @Zack

 

[Zack]

But you were complaining that I didn't help out!

And yeah, I can help with the weapon article.

 

[Jack Pine]

just saying I would have liked to know first before you did that.

 

[Ametheliana]

That's settled. Zack is sometimes overzealous.

 

[Zack]

I do what I want.

 

[Wes]

Where's the approval checklist?

 

[Ametheliana]

This review is for: Revenant PA with URL https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=wip:faction:uso:skyguard:project_spectre

The submitted article is/has…
[ ¤﹏¤] A very high level of overall quality
[ ¤﹏¤] A general topic sentence under the title header
[ ¤﹏¤] Artwork (Required for new species; Strongly recommended for vehicles and hand weapons)
[ ¤﹏¤] Needed and/or useful to the setting
[ ¤﹏¤] In the proper format/template
[ ¤﹏¤] Proofread for spelling and grammar
[ ¤﹏¤] Easy to read and understand (not a lengthy mass of technobabble)
[ ¤﹏¤] Wikified (terms that could be a link should be a link)
[ ¤﹏¤] No red and/or broken links
[ ¤﹏¤] Reasonably scientifically plausible
[ ¤﹏¤] Reasonably neutral point of view
The submitted article is/does not…
[ ¤﹏¤] Overpowered (or cutting tech for a faction with little or no roleplay)
[ ¤﹏¤] Obtusely redundant
[ ¤﹏¤] Contain copy pasta descriptions of systems or interior compartments
[ ¤﹏¤] Unauthorized by faction managers or player-controlled corporation
[ ¤﹏¤] Contain references to IC events that have not occurred (SM must authorize retcons)
[ ¤﹏¤] Use second-person language (“you” or “your”) unless it is an instructional guide aimed at players.
[ ¤﹏¤] Use bombastic language (“virtually immune,” “nearly indestructible,” “insanely powerful,” “horrible effects”)
[ ¤﹏¤] Use an unbalanced header/text ratio (many headers but sections are one-liners)
[ ¤﹏¤] Use major unapproved sub-articles that should be submitted separately
[ ¤﹏¤] Lacking Detail
[ ¤﹏¤] Images hosted on sites other than stararmy.com (Photobucket, Imageshack, etc are not allowed)
The article has…
[ ¤﹏¤] Speeds in compliance with the Starship Speed Standard, if applicable
[ ¤﹏¤] Damage Capacity and Damage Ratings in compliance with the DR Guidelines
[ ¤﹏¤] The in-character year of creation/manufacture. (Should be current year. Future years not allowed).
[ ¤﹏¤] The Standard Product Nomenclature System, if applicable.
To the submitter: Is this a refit or overhaul of a previous article? If yes, provide a link and a list of changes.

Approved

[EDIT] I can't edit my post to get the top gif off lol