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Submission Type: Species
Template Used: Species template
Faction: Neshaten sub-faction
FM Approved Yet? No
Faction requires art? Yes(?) - Species require art nonetheless.
For Reviewers:
Contains Unapproved Sub-Articles? No
Contains New art? No - still looking for artists to at least get one piece done. Also checking and debating my funds regarding.
Previously Submitted? No
Other notes: Better strap in. This is a lengthy one.
Because this is a sub-faction for the Neshaten, I can't post a review as it would appear biased. The best I can do is give it a looking over (which I've already been doing) and provide advice and suggestions for any fixes.
I'd like to apologize for the grammar. I try, but yeah, mistakes are made easily in such a big submission, certainly when English isn't my first language. Y'know, the usual.
Fixed the subarticles, listed them in a timeline, this time, don't you forget about those
Created a subarticle for the Saweyan church, linked it in a new, small passage I made that explains they have a theocracy and linked Saweyan church there.
Fixed the quotes in both ways requested.
Added the HVI strain under their technology
As for Teryan- I don't think it would matter much, unless it's to explain the Plaguestar further?
Time to start running through and fixing the little grammar blips that are showing up all over Grammarly...
There's a few redundant statements I'm immediately seeing in the Saweyan church, such as "She granted life to all and watched over the planet. A benevolent diety that watched over all."
The second sentence isn't necessary. Is it fine if I go through and delete the redundancies such as these?
May I have a status update on this please, @IQ and @META_mahn? I apologize for not completing my grammar and spelling “look-over” of the articles and sub-articles, IQ - been busy with job-hunting IRL and doing roleplay/plot-related stuff on SARP. >.<
I've been busy with interviews and jobhunting myself as well. Though, well. I did a good interview yesterday, so I might have a job.
@META_mahn - Elaborate on; 'put it in the planet template as the homeworld'?
I've been doing the requested changes, such as a Tsumi physical sheet, a page on Teryan AKA the Plaguestar- and I'm busy myself on fixing some mistakes even I can spot