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Sigma said:Post edited. PM sent.
Now to wait for you guys to finish. This going to be a looong 25 minutes...
“That would explain these Yamataians we made contact with. My examination of the female that... that Shina-Hei took back to the Aeon did reveal a metal something, I guess one of these devices, on her spinal column. Of course, there was no sign of explosives on the medical scans, but now that we know what to look for O'Kutsuu-Hei has detected traces in her prisoner.”
SSharp said:Why did Kame take the explosives off the Assault Team?
This poses a problem.
Edit: Also, the general mistakes Dusky usually makes in posts and Arkase is HEISHO not a Hei. Sergeant vs. Private, and a big difference.
As well, Arkase WOULD NOT have relinquished the detonators, and Kame WOULD NOT have had a chance to take them. Dusky, edit your post man. Don't just automatically take crap.
I'm not happy.
Sean_ODuibher said:I personally don't like fourth-wall breaking IC references in a realistic plot, such as the Aeon. It breaks up the flow of the RP, to my mind. Still, the description of the turrets is fine, except for the bit about proton shields. I know you lifted most of the description from the star wars page, and it does mention a proton shield there. However, as far as I can find, there is no such thing as a proton shield in SARP. A small edit should suffice to fix that.