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OOC Black Knights/Byakuren Discussion
- Thread starter Wes
- Start date
Konoka Miyazawa
Inactive Member
Is Kotori actually GOOD at cooking, or are the crew going to have choke down sucky food so not to offend her/have her kersplode them?
Also - WOW my latest post was long for me.
Also - WOW my latest post was long for me.
Konoka Miyazawa
Inactive Member
Forgive the double post but I just noticed something: Konoka is older than Reika. And Tsukiko. And Fuyu. And Kyoka. And Kyoko. And Shizuko.
OMG I AM PLAYING AN OLD LADY (for a neko)
And nobody would ever guess that she, of all people, with her sugar-high, comic-relief personality, was one of the oldest most experienced neko on the ship.
YES THE ONE WHO CAN'T DRINK COFFEE WITHOUT DERPING LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD HAS BEEN FIGHTING YEARS LONGER THAN ALMOST EVERYBODY ELSE
This was just really fascinating to me. Sorry. Shutting up now.
OMG I AM PLAYING AN OLD LADY (for a neko)
And nobody would ever guess that she, of all people, with her sugar-high, comic-relief personality, was one of the oldest most experienced neko on the ship.
YES THE ONE WHO CAN'T DRINK COFFEE WITHOUT DERPING LIKE A 5 YEAR OLD HAS BEEN FIGHTING YEARS LONGER THAN ALMOST EVERYBODY ELSE
This was just really fascinating to me. Sorry. Shutting up now.
Konoka Miyazawa
Inactive Member
I'm talking about Kotori's cooking skills, not Konoka's.
Fred
Retired Staff
You'll just have to find out, Konoka. 
By the way, Konoka, I still want more paragraphs from you.
* * *
Shotjon, I was waiting a bit to get an handle on your writing style before commenting about it. Now, I'm about ready to. So, here goes:
- Your posts have a lot of effort put in them, but they also seem hurried. The reason I get that impression is due to them often having several typo errors. Mind you, I do plenty myself. I often do multiple edits on my post after submitting them to fix them or reword some things better. I suggest you try revisiting yours too - there are obvious errors that I'm sure that you could wipe away with just a simple reread.
- You often write present tense, whereas I most of this plot's participants write it more in past tense, the way you'd read a story ("He invited her to dinner", "She accepted and went to get her things"). Do you think you could try sticking to that approach?
* * *
Khasidel, on about the same line, I also wanted to comment on your vocabulary.
"Whilst". You use it pretty often. It's kind of an old english word that tells me that you must like reading medieval fantasy. It's an okay word in narrative, but Reika's started to use it. ICly, people are going to notice.
I mean, "Whilst" is a word in the same category as "thou", "art" and "hast". People are bound to notice. That might be okay, though I'd bring up the question "would Reika speak like that"?
* * *
Tom, it feels to me like Akiko's focus is very centered on Konoka. I know you two play off each other the most easily, but be careful not to make that a clique. Looking at Konoka go, I don't think she had much of a problem branching out... but I do think that Akiko could stand out more too for other people (and not necessarily in the 'I-try-not-to-get-caught-annoying-them way - if Akiko interacts as a person with Konoka, surely she can do the same with other people).
By the way, Konoka, I still want more paragraphs from you.
* * *
Shotjon, I was waiting a bit to get an handle on your writing style before commenting about it. Now, I'm about ready to. So, here goes:
- Your posts have a lot of effort put in them, but they also seem hurried. The reason I get that impression is due to them often having several typo errors. Mind you, I do plenty myself. I often do multiple edits on my post after submitting them to fix them or reword some things better. I suggest you try revisiting yours too - there are obvious errors that I'm sure that you could wipe away with just a simple reread.
- You often write present tense, whereas I most of this plot's participants write it more in past tense, the way you'd read a story ("He invited her to dinner", "She accepted and went to get her things"). Do you think you could try sticking to that approach?
* * *
Khasidel, on about the same line, I also wanted to comment on your vocabulary.
"Whilst". You use it pretty often. It's kind of an old english word that tells me that you must like reading medieval fantasy. It's an okay word in narrative, but Reika's started to use it. ICly, people are going to notice.
I mean, "Whilst" is a word in the same category as "thou", "art" and "hast". People are bound to notice. That might be okay, though I'd bring up the question "would Reika speak like that"?
* * *
Tom, it feels to me like Akiko's focus is very centered on Konoka. I know you two play off each other the most easily, but be careful not to make that a clique. Looking at Konoka go, I don't think she had much of a problem branching out... but I do think that Akiko could stand out more too for other people (and not necessarily in the 'I-try-not-to-get-caught-annoying-them way - if Akiko interacts as a person with Konoka, surely she can do the same with other people).
ShotJon
Well-Known Member
I will try to be more careful, it is actually curious, because I try to use past tense, as that is traditional way to write stories. I might slip in present for everyday thing that my char does and for things she does on general base, which might be reflex. I will try to get rid of it.
As for spelling I do have british spell editor in my browser which points out most of the typoes, as for grammar itself I have a bit of a problem with that. English is not my native language.
As for spelling I do have british spell editor in my browser which points out most of the typoes, as for grammar itself I have a bit of a problem with that. English is not my native language.
Woot! Double-post!
For a moment there, I thought that Kotori was catching Reika on her fib and saying "Lie lie lie." because that word and the japanese word for no, "Iie iie iie." look similar at a glance.
I damn near panicked trying to figure out how Reika would talk herself out of it, until I saw there was actually no problem.
For a moment there, I thought that Kotori was catching Reika on her fib and saying "Lie lie lie." because that word and the japanese word for no, "Iie iie iie." look similar at a glance.
I damn near panicked trying to figure out how Reika would talk herself out of it, until I saw there was actually no problem.
Khasidel said:*blinks*
Huh, I didn't notice that I do that... but it makes sense. I do read a lot of fantasy; about two thirds of the 350 or so novels in my bedroom are fantasy ones. The rest are sci-fi.
I always just assumed Reika had a funny New Zealand accent because that's Khasidel's normal. Lol.
Konoka Miyazawa
Inactive Member
Gah.
I found this Kotori in the anime "The Idolm@ster" but she's much cuter:
http://s45.photobucket.com/user/UmeBlos ... sort=3&o=0
I found this Kotori in the anime "The Idolm@ster" but she's much cuter:
http://s45.photobucket.com/user/UmeBlos ... sort=3&o=0
Fred
Retired Staff
If you're looking for Kotori's actual namesake, it would be her.
Not that there's any sort of commonality between the two. It was at least ten years ago that I even leafed through that manga without even really liking it. It just kind of gathered that "Kotori" was a japanese name there without even really knowing what it meant.
When I was brainstorming for my character's name seven years ago, that one just came up and I ended up using it.
Not that there's any sort of commonality between the two. It was at least ten years ago that I even leafed through that manga without even really liking it. It just kind of gathered that "Kotori" was a japanese name there without even really knowing what it meant.
When I was brainstorming for my character's name seven years ago, that one just came up and I ended up using it.
Konoka Miyazawa
Inactive Member
Just made another giant post. Hope that pleases you, Fred lol
And I wasn't looking for Kotori's name origin, exactly. Just noticed it was a pretty common name in anime.
And I wasn't looking for Kotori's name origin, exactly. Just noticed it was a pretty common name in anime.
Konoka Miyazawa
Inactive Member
Ik I'm double posting again but....
"Om-nom-nombie"?
XD
That cracked me up. That is officially my word of the day, Moogle XD
"Om-nom-nombie"?
XD
That cracked me up. That is officially my word of the day, Moogle XD
Fred
Retired Staff
By the way, Konoka... it think it's okay for you to write OoC notes in the OoC thread rather than in your IC posts.
It's no big deal, but...
I just think it makes for prettier posts without the (by the way, this means that in japanese). It'd be kind of sad if everyone would insert parentheses on each of their posts. Besides, isn't that why we have an OoC thread in the first place?
If you really want to convey meaning, you can just use an URL for the word in question and link either to your OoC explanation... or your source for the word in japanese.
It's no big deal, but...
I just think it makes for prettier posts without the (by the way, this means that in japanese). It'd be kind of sad if everyone would insert parentheses on each of their posts. Besides, isn't that why we have an OoC thread in the first place?
If you really want to convey meaning, you can just use an URL for the word in question and link either to your OoC explanation... or your source for the word in japanese.
