Do you guys like it here, on this ship?
These words echoed in Takuma's mind, sending him into a state of uncertainty. Sure, he enjoyed his time thus far on the ship. His major goal was to see the many aspects of space and all around. The missions the ship went on fueled his curiosity and wonder. Many more sights could be seen on the ship. The crew consisted of fun and lively people, but...
The problem lies with me Takuma realized, clenching his fist. He had utterly failed to prove himself useful. Not only was his past mission experience lackluster, but it was downright horrific on the latest mission. Not only did he fail at what was supposed to be his 'expertise,' he got injured and left the battle early. His inability to perform made him feel certain that his future laid elsewhere.
What especially kept nagging at him was his failure against the enemy computer. He knew he could have done better. He should have been able to get them through without fail. But...
I was arrogant. I was a fool... I didn't give my job its proper attention at the most crucial of time. I thought too highly of my self and severely underestimated my opponent. There was nothing he could do to fix the failure he created, but he did not want to look like a worthless excuse for a soldier to everybody. A small idea popped into his mind.
"Ah, sorry Kai. I just remembered there was something I needed to take care of," Takuma said, getting up from the table. His face appeared distraught at first, but determination took its place.
"I'll be sure to answer your question later," he said. He sent out a quick wave of goodbye to the two at the table and walked quickly out of the room.
I may not be able to traverse time and fix my error, but I can simulate another chance, he thought, breaking his walk into a jog to his quarters. A simulated re-attempt at the computer would not take long. Upon his arrival, he lifted open his computer, woke it from its idle state, and grouped an assortment of scripts he wanted to use into the same directory. Once these files were lumped together, he gave the ship's network access to the directory, but not without adding a password. Now with that done, he stepped to leave his room, but another thought crossed his mind.
I'm not retrying this to prove to myself that I can do it. He wanted to say to himself that
he knew he could do it, but that was too similar to what he thought during the actual event. After hesitating for a moment, he opened up a messaging client on his computer and composed a new message.
Takuma-Heisho said:
"Claymere-Taii,
I have both an apology to say and a request to ask.
I would like to sincerely apologize for my... immense failure on the mission. I will not waste my breath on excuses for my actions, but the harsh fact that I could have done something remains. I do not want to appear a useless and arrogant soldier, which my performance has established. I would like to try and redeem some of the honor I have lost by repeating the scene from the previous mission in the simulator.
My request is only that you take note of the outcome. I know that, despite the result, nothing in reality will change. I only want to show that I can perform and that I am not a complete failure.
- Takuma-Heisho"
With that out of the way, he jogged his way to the simulator room and requested a set-up of the previous day's mission, only including the attempt to break past the door. Same equipment, same formation. Same problem.