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Awesome Quotes

Women are to be loved, not understood
- Oscar Wilde

A woman reading 'Playboy' feels a little like a Jew reading a Nazi manual
- Gloria Steinem

On one issue at least, men and women agree - they both disagree women
- H.L. Menvken

Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult
- Charlotte Whitton
 
For when the One Great Scorer comes
To write against your name,
He marks-not that you won or lost-
But how you played the game.

- Grantland Rice, "Alumunus Football," Only the Brave and Other Poems, p. 144 (1941)


I was under the impression (in Clark Kerr's words) that the purpose of a University was to make students safe for ideas, not to make ideas safe for students. If you haven't been offended by some idea put forward at a University, then you haven't been paying attention.

- Jeffrey Shallit, "Public Networks and Censorship", High Noon on the Electronic Frontier (ed. Ludlow), p. 282 (1996)
 
Nothing is so admirable in politics as a short memory
- J. K. Galbraith

In politics there is no honour.
- Benjamin Disraeli
 
Women have their faults. Men have only two:
Everything they say. Everything they do.
-Anon

If they can put one man on the monn, why can't they put them all there?
-Anon

A man is a creature with two legs and eight arms.
-Jayne Mansfield
 
Hunting, a detested sport, that owes its pleasure to another's pain.
- William Cowper

Wild animals never kill for sport. Man is the only one to whom the torture annd death of his fellow creatures is anusing in itself.
- James A. Froude
 
Ford: "You better brace yourself, it's unpleasently like being drunk"
Arthur: "What's wrong with being drunk?"
Ford: "You ask a glass of water"

- The Hitchhikers Guide to the galaxy
 
Charming man. I wish I had a daughter so I could forbid her to marry one...

--Arthur Dent (HHGTTG)


"Don't you want to interrogate the prisoners, sir?" he squaled.

The Captain peered at him in bemusement.

"Why on Golgafrincham should I want to do that?" he asked.

"To get information out of them, sir! To find out why they came here!"

"Oh no, no, no," said the Captain. "I expect they just dropped in for a quick jynnan tonnyx, don't you?"

"But they're my prisoners! I must interrogate them!"

The Captain looked at them doubtfully.

"Oh all right," he said, "if you must. Ask them what they want to drink."

A hard cold gleam came into Number Two's eyes. He advanced slowly on Ford Prefect and Arthur Dent.

"All right, you scum," he growled, "you vermin..." He jabbed Ford with the Kill-O-Zap gun.

"Steady on, Number Two," admonished the Captain gently.

"What do you want to drink?!!" Number Two screamed.

"Well the jynnan tonnyx sounds very nice to me," said Ford. "What about you, Arthur?"

Arthur blinked.

"What? Oh, er, yes," he said.

"With ice or without?!" bellowed Number Two.

Oh, with, please," said Ford.

"Lemon??!!"

"Yes, please," said Ford, "and do you have any of those little biscuits? You know, the cheesey ones?"

"I'm asking the questions!!!!" howled Number Two, his body shaking with apoplectic fury.

-Various (HHGTTG)


You barbarians! I'll sue the council for every penny it's got! I'l have you hung, drawn, and quartered! And whipped! And boiled...until...until...until you've had enough! And then I will do it again! And when I've finished I will take all the little bits, and I'll JUMP on them! And I'll carry on jumping on them until I get blisters, or I can think of anything even more unpleasant to do!!


--Arthur Dent (HHGTTG)
 
Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did
- Jimmy Durante

A politician is an acrobat. He keeps his balance by saying the opposie of what he does.
- Maurice Barres
 
America had often been discovered before Columbus, but it had always been hushed up.
- Oscar Wilde

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.
-Oscar Wilde
 
Richard Sheridan's son:
If I were in Parliament, I would write on my forehead - 'To Let'
Richard Sheridan:
Add 'Unfurnished'

Heckler:
I wouldn't vote for you if you were the Archangel Gabriel.
Robert Menzies:
If I where the Archangel Gabriel, madam, you would hardly be in my constituency.
 
"Cooper, two coffins, no maybe three"
-Yojimbo

(This quote is only cool when taken in context. At this point Toshiro Mifune had killed two opponents and dismembered another and then gone too the undertaker and said this.)
 
As yet, Bernard Shaw hasn't become prominent enough to have any enemies; but none of his freinds like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Modern art is when you buy a picture to cover a hole in the wall, and then decide the hole looks much better.
- Anon
 
Arthur: Do you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to take a bath.
Hobson: I'll alert the media.
Arthur: Do you want to run my bath for me?
Hobson: It's what I live for.
[Arthur exits]
Hobson: Perhaps you would like me to wash your dick for you... you little shit.

[while Arthur Bach is taking a bath]
Arthur Bach: God, Hobson, isn't life wonderful?
Hobson: Yes it is, Arthur, do your armpits.
Arthur Bach: A hot bath is Wonderful... Girls are WONDERFUL!
Hobson: Yes, imagine how wonderful a girl who bathes would be... Get dressed.

Arthur Bach: I'm so rich, I wish I had a dime for every dime I had.

Hobson: Poor people are not loved, Arthur. They urinate in public and have very few teeth.

Hobson: I've taken the liberty of anticipating your condition. I have brought you orange juice, coffee, and aspirins. Or do you need to throw up?

Arthur: Don't you wish you were me? I know I do.

- All from the movie Arthur
 
RPG-D RPGfix
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