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  • Get in our Discord chat! Discord.gg/stararmy
  • 📅 July 2024 is YE 46.5 in the RP.

Quotes Quarantine

Kampfer posts a picture from /a/, the reaction is ... ahh, heated.
[20] Kamper AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
[20] Luca AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!
[20] Ira AAAAAAAAAH!
[20] Jimmy AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
[20] Luca WHAT THE FRACK ARE WRONG WITH HER EYES?
[20] Ira THE EYEZZZ
[20] Jimmy *BOOM*
[20] Kamper grabs Luca "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH"
[20] Ira WHAT THE HELL
[20] Luca grabs Kampfer "AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"
[20] Kamper "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
[20] -->| Marie ([email protected]) has joined #StarArmy
[20] Ira grabs Jimmy 'AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!"
[20] Luca AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
[20] Marie when was the search by voice alternative added to google search? >.>
[20] Kamper looks at Marie "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
[20] Ira AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!
[20] Ira brb
[20] Jimmy AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRGGGHHHH!
[20] Luca http://static.giantbomb.com/uploads/sca ... ch_jog.png
[20] Luca AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
[20] Jimmy explodes.
[20] Luca http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/AAAAAAAAA!
Click to expand...
 
* Ira_Spider scowls
<Ira_Spider>WOW
<Ira_Spider>\Guy named Risto Ryti
<Ira_Spider>made buddy buddy relations with nazi germany
<Ira_Spider>took their guns and resigned
<Ira_Spider>allowing his replacement to back flip, tell germany to piss off
<Ira_Spider>Ryti got 10 years hard labor for arming his country
- Fian joined
<Marie><.<
<Marie>took you long enough to get there Ira :\
<Ira_Spider>I just think its messed up that he got smashed for collobrating when he really just F'ed em in the B
<Marie>it's what I've been saying all the time... we partnered up with Germany to keep Russia off our backs and still chugged the Germans out via Lappland in the end >.>
<Marie><.<'
<Ira_Spider>No good deed I suppose
<Fian>You could say the Germans were
* Fian puts on sunglasses
<Marie>whether that decision was called for or not I really can't say but maybe at the time they just needed a scapegoat to look good to the rest of the allied countries
<Fian>Finnished
<Marie>....
<Ira_Spider>^^
Click to expand...
 
[00] <AbwehranWork> you know Wes, sometimes I hate it when I'm not paying attention to details. I took a gander at the wonderful Abwehran Dress Uniform concept you made and then read the jacket description again.
[00] <AbwehranWork> it has double the amount of buttons than the description tells :<
[00] <DocTomoe> Quick shoop it.
[00] <DocTomoe> Buttons can be removed easy, I'd imagine.
[00] <Fian> A Yamataian speciality in the bedroom
[00] <DocTomoe> Negative.
[00] <DocTomoe> They've evolved so far past buttons, they get perplexed by them.
[00] <AbwehranWork> indeed
[00] <DocTomoe> Thus why they only use them for dress wear.
[00] <DocTomoe> Zippers, zippers are a Yamataian specialty.
[00] <Fian> Because only the relative sophistication of officers over enlisteds allows them to comprehend the perplexity of buttons?
[00] <DocTomoe> Confirmed.
[00] <DocTomoe> After you get past the rank of Itto Juni, you begin to grasp buttons.
[00] <Fian> Is this why Officers are not allowed to fraternitize with Warrants and Enlisteds, because the latter two are mentally incapable of removing buttons?
[00] <DocTomoe> Aye, however, if the officer comes onto them while wearing an outfit which includes zippers, then, that is seen as permission to come aboard.
Click to expand...
 
[21] <Luca> I had a nice JP with Sigma this morning.
[21] <Luca> What do IPG agents do when they're not out on field?
[21] <Luca> That was the premise - and I like it
[21] <Fian> They visit orphanages
[21] <Fian> ... For a small snack.
[21] <Luca> That's what Helen does...
Click to expand...
 
13:32:47 Kampfer: I took all my sister's shampoo and put a towel over it.
13:32:55 Kampfer: I also snuck a fake cockroach under the towel
13:33:04 Kampfer: 15 minutes later I hear this earth-shattering shriek.
13:34:44 Kampfer: Now nobody in the house is talking to me.
13:34:52 Kampfer: It's the slow-burning pranks that are the best
13:35:19 Aendri: Posted in TFL
13:35:53 Kampfer: I have retrieved the cockroach
13:36:01 Kampfer: My coworkers are the next targets
13:36:23 KokuWork: It's good.
13:36:23 * AbwehranWork facepalms
13:36:24 KokuWork: Because.
13:36:30 KokuWork: It's like a bomb, burning on a wick.
13:36:40 KokuWork: You know it's coming, and the wait just makes it feel even better.
13:37:32 Aendri: I avoid playing that game with my dad.
13:37:50 Aendri: 15 years of special forces gives him a completely and utterly unfair advantage.
13:38:01 Kampfer: I think the funniest part was the shriek was accompanied by the sound of shampoo bottles being thrown everywhere.
13:38:06 Aendri: I'm more inventive, but he's better at predicting me.
13:44:21 AbwehranWork: heh
13:45:07 KokuWork: That's probably just because.
13:45:09 KokuWork: You know.
13:45:17 KokuWork: He's known you ever since you were born.
13:45:23 * AbwehranWork nods
13:46:16 Kampfer: And he's a dad.
13:46:28 Kampfer: He's got about 30 years more experience at pranking women.
13:47:05 KokuWork: OOOOOOOOOOOOO
13:47:10 * KokuWork high fives Kampfer.
13:47:24 Kampfer: What.
13:47:24 * AbwehranWork facepalms
13:47:33 KokuWork: You know.
13:47:36 Kampfer: Did...I unwillingly make a joke?
13:47:38 KokuWork: Because.
13:47:41 KokuWork: Aendri is... a...
13:47:44 KokuWork: Eh...
13:47:48 * KokuWork punches Kampfer instead.
13:47:49 Kampfer: HAHAHA
13:47:50 Kampfer: I GET IT
13:47:54 * Kampfer HIGH FIVES HIMSELF
13:48:05 AbwehranWork: Isn't that just a clap?
Click to expand...

kamfer stoopid
 
02:18 Sham So, What's he doin? He who must not be pinged?
02:18 WingZero0079 Lol
02:19 Sham DO NOT SPEAK HIS NAME, DO NOT PING HIM, He is
02:19 Sham He Who Must Not Be Pinged
02:19 WingZero0079 facedesks ...
02:19 Sham So, what's he up to?
02:19 Sham You know, him
02:19 Izokia who must not be pinged?
02:19 Sham HE MUST NOT BE PINGED IZO
02:19 Jimmy Ira, I assume.
02:19 *** Ira quit (Ping timeout: 252 seconds)
02:19 WingZero0079 FAIL
02:20 Sham LOOK WHAT YOU DID
02:20 Luca WHOOPS
02:20 Luca UNSUMMON
02:20 Jimmy has slayed the evil beast!
02:20 Sham I TOLD YOU TO NOT PING HIM!
02:20 Riko|DoW_II compleately forgot that I have the Tau Commander for last stand
02:20 Sham He died...
02:20 Izokia I geuss that why we cant ping him
02:20 WingZero0079 guess*
02:20 WingZero0079 :3
Click to expand...

Nice timing Ira.
 
Topic for #Stararmy: Star Army Sci-fi Roleplaying Community [OOC] - RP @ https://stararmy.com - Channel Rules: http://xrl.us/ircrules - Facebook: http://facebook.com/StarArmy - Twitter: https://twitter.com/StarArmy - Vote for us http://xrl.us/bkmzz - Admin Phone # (209) 782-7276

Channel modes: [+nt]
Channel created: Mon Aug 30 2010 09:18:05
Users: [Total: 22, Normal: 22]
<Wes_tablet> What's happenin', Super SARPio Brothers
* Sigma is working on super secret weapons for Nepland
<Wes_tablet> Wut
<Sigma> yarp
<Sigma> they involve giant balls of yarn
<Sigma> because studies show that cats are fascinated by yarn
<Sigma> so we can neutralize NMX nekos by bombarding them with giant balls of yarn which will entangle them!
<Sigma> IT IS GENIUS!
<Wes_tablet> Thought of all things Nepleslia needs, weapons were not one of those.
<Wes_tablet> Lol
<Sigma> well, this is actually a project which is in response to players' suggestions
<Wes_tablet> Well call them big blue bondage balls.
<Sigma> can do
<Sigma> i should have it and its components ready for submission within 4 hrs
<Sigma> oh that reminds
<Sigma> Wes
<Sigma> oops, i need to find that picture i took in HK
<`Osaka> Someone back me up here.
<`Osaka> When you ship characters
<`Osaka> The order of the ship is very important.
<`Osaka> For example
<`Osaka> Yui x Hanako denotes Yui on the attack, which would be the norm.
<`Osaka> But Hanako x Yui denotes that Hanako is the one in charge, which has a completely different mood and tone!
<`Osaka> Someone please explain this incredibly important thing to Mog!
<Mog> Or, you know, it's whatever sounds better first.
<`Osaka> There's a chart.
<`Osaka> Top row
<`Osaka> vs side row
<`Osaka> and it criss-crosses.
<`Osaka> You're basically ignoring half of the chart.
<Mog> YuiKo or YuiHana sounds much better than HanaYui
<`Osaka> THE ORDER OF THE ATTACKER IS VERY IMPORTANT
<`Osaka> VERY IMORTANT
<`Osaka> IT UTTERLY CHANGES THE TONE OF THE SHIP.
<`Osaka> ITS VERY IMPORTANT
<Mog> http://i1148.photobucket.com/albums/o57 ... r1_250.gif
<`Osaka> IRRELEVANT!
<`Osaka> IF YOU HAD THE HEART OF A TRUE SHIPPER AS I DO
<`Osaka> YOU'D UNDERSTAND THIS GRAVE INJUSTICE!
* Sigma sides with `Osaka
Quit: Ariegphone2 [Ping timeout: 272 seconds]
<Mog> Or maybe I am the true shipper because you're focused on the semantics of the situation rather than the meat of it.
<Sigma> since when have semantics NOT been significant to relatioinships?
<Mog> The name should communicate how the relationship connects.
<Sigma> focusing on the meat is rather... suggestive
* Mog wiggles eyebrows
Quit: `Osaka [Quit: Leaving...]
Join: Toshiro [8d41d08f.neo.res.14056255.com.hmsk]
Mode: [+o Toshiro] by ChanServ
<@Toshiro> Hi
<Sigma> wes_tablet, I KNOW WHAT HANAKO IS UP TO!
<Sigma> SHE IS GOING TO TURN THE UNIVERSE PINK!
<Sigma> Look what she did in Hong Kong!
<Sigma> http://i15.photobucket.com/albums/a376/ ... e4d845.jpg
<Wes_tablet> Lulz
Click to expand...
 
15:17:48 KokuWork: Matt!
15:17:53 KokuWork: Soresu has secured his copy!
15:17:59 KokuWork: WE NOW NUMBER THREE LALAS.
15:18:29 * Kampfer sips his tea, the gentle clink of teacup on porcelain marking the end of the whimsical sip.
15:18:33 Kampfer: Delightful, KokuWork
15:21:07 KokuWork: Kampfer.
15:21:10 KokuWork: All we need is you.
15:21:18 KokuWork: And we could be the Lalafallen Company.
15:23:59 Kampfer: I miss Hank, Koku.
15:24:21 KokuWork: Hank?
15:24:38 Kampfer: Breaking Bad.
15:25:36 Riko: oh yeah just got me some forgeworld models
15:26:49 KokuWork: Oh! I don't watch shows for children, Kampfer, you know that.
15:27:07 * Kampfer cracks his teacup in his grip
15:27:13 KokuWork: Also, I've been reading a new Black Library book called the 'Priests of Mars'.
15:27:15 Kampfer: YOU'RE THE BLOODY CHILDREN, YOU WANKER
15:27:20 KokuWork: You could say it's... riveting.
15:27:39 KokuWork: Oh my, Kampfer.
15:27:42 KokuWork: How unbecoming.
15:27:48 KokuWork: You're acting like a child.
15:28:12 Kampfer: WAT THE BLOODY FOOK DID YOU JUST SAY ILL WREK YA MATE I SWAR ON ME MAM
15:29:14 KokuWork: You're not like Darjeeling at all.
15:29:29 * KokuWork sips his water.
15:29:45 * Kampfer composes himself, pulls out another tea cup, and starts sipping again
15:29:49 Kampfer: Ruffian.
Click to expand...
 
[16] * Fian tortures Homeside
[16] * Fian brings out
[16] <Fian> THE SOFT CUSHIONS
[16] * Fian gets all the stuffing on one end
[16] <Homeside> No! No! Anything but -- but the *soft* *cushions*!!!!
[16] <Homeside> Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!
[16] <Fian> You arent distressed enough
[16] <Fian> Time to ramp up the torture
[16] * Fian brings out
[16] <Fian> THE COMFY CHAIR
[16] <Homeside> Oh no, please, no!
[16] <Homeside> No!
[16] <Fian> Confess!
[16] <Homeside> You'll never make me talk!
[16] <Homeside> NEVER!
[16] == Kampfer [[email protected]] has quit [Quit: http://www.mibbit.com ajax IRC Client]
[16] * Fian puts Homeside in THE COMFY CHAIR
[16] <Homeside> I'll -- I'll never talk!
[16] <Homeside> Never!
[16] * Blind_gardener puts Homeside's feet in THE FUZZY SLIPPERS
[16] <Homeside> You animals!
[16] <Homeside> You'll never get it out of me!
[16] * Blind_gardener wraps THE WARM TOWL aorund Homeside's neck
[16] <Homeside> W-wait. What? What am I confessing, again?
[16] <Homeside> Why am I being tortured, here?
[16] * Jimmy brings out the LUXURIOUS OTTOMAN for Homesides legs.
[16] <Homeside> YOU BASTARDS!!!!
[16] <Blind_gardener> Well, we're each torturing you for a different reason
[16] <Blind_gardener> Jimmy's doing it 'cause it's fun
[16] <Blind_gardener> I don't know why Fian's doing it
[16] <Fian> For the glory of Satan of course
[16] <Jimmy> No, he called me a vile sick perverted bastard that needs help. >:)
[16] * Luca[Phone] brings forth the WARM, SUGARY TEA
[16] <Homeside> Dear jesus, no! Not tea! Noooooooooooooo!
[16] <Luca[Phone]> TEA!!!!
[16] <Blind_gardener> And I'm doing it because it's fun!
[16] * Blind_gardener brings out the Advanced Tea Substitute
[16] * Jimmy presents the dreaded COZY BLANKET!
[16] * Fian prepares THE PLEASANT BATH
[16] <Jimmy> We're monsters!
[16] <Homeside> You're all going to hell, you hear me!!!!
[16] <Fian> Not monsters
[16] <Homeside> I don't care what you want from me! You're not getting it!!!
[16] <Fian> Just the unexpected
Click to expand...
 
Mog: God forbid we talk about tanks some more.
Jarrow: So i've startegd grinding the chinese line.
Blind_Gardener: Jarrow: YOU'RE SNORTING CHEESE LINES?!
Blind_Gardener: ....
Blind_Gardener: Wow I totally missread that
Blind_Gardener: I was all "What, chedder? Swiss? Mozzerella?
Jarrow: what the actual hell, lol
Blind_Gardener: "Who the heck does cheese lines?"
Jarrow: Charlie Sheen.
Click to expand...
Winning.
 
`Osaka Could be fun to have a design competition to come up with the most "non-human" species possible that's still playable realistically.
AbwehranWork ......
Wes Well, there's my race of sentient miniature volcanoes.
`Osaka Wait wat
`Osaka That sounds... Amazing.
`Osaka I need to read about it.
MishhuSage ....
demibear Lol
`Osaka Link link!
AbwehranWork I'm sorry Wes
Wes There's not much detail, just a bullet on my alien concepts page.
MishhuSage I wanna play a sentient min volcano...
AbwehranWork I can't take that suggestion seriously
AbwehranWork I chuckle every time I read it
`Osaka I think a common theme of non-human species would be adapting themselves to deal with humanoids and communicate successfully.
Wes Silicon-based razorfur nanochipmunks with sonic blast attacks.
Sham I can't take any of Wes's suggestions seriously on that page
`Osaka Since if humanoids are the most prolific shape or form of species, it makes sense that you'd want to communicate with them (as opposed to doing something stupid that would get you killed).
Sham Well
Sham I lied
`Osaka Sham: Neither can I. They sound hilarious and awesome as species fluff.
Sham Like, 5% are serious
AbwehranWork also reminds me that I should really really fluff out the Gefahrans, all they have is a blurb
Itkatsu A race of sentient volcanos sure would give a new meaning to "blowing your load"
Sham The other 95% are pure
AbwehranWork though there's no worry of people meeting them currently
Sham ...
Wes https://wiki.stararmy.com/doku.php?id=us ... n_concepts
demibear You just made me think of Alvin and the chipmunks ::cringes::
Sham Well, yeah
MishhuSage YES! AHAHAHAHAHAHA
AbwehranWork since their planet is quarantined
`Osaka Hum...
Wes " Eoxoll: 6 legs, 3 eyes front, endoskeletal, communicates by low-pitched sound, emits pheromones, mates to signal strong opinion. Space technology.
Wes A species that secretes a mayonnaise-like substance used for grooming. It also makes a good sandwich spread. Members of the species eat certain ways/things to get the best flavor and have contests."
Itkatsu Onii-chan your magma flowing into me is so hot~
`Osaka Itkatsu: olololol
MishhuSage Lmao awesome Itkatsu...
Sham Wes
Sham Do you come up with this yourself?
Itkatsu I could go on all night
Sham Or
Sham What?
AbwehranWork facepalms hard
Wes Some of it, some of it was random generated too.
AbwehranWork damn it, Itkatsu
Sham From WHERE?
Wes I came up with the mayonnaise secreting race.
Sham Were you eating?
Sham Or
Wes And mating to show your opinion.
MishhuSage I like the giant sentient ships, almost reaper-like.
Sham Making a Sandwich?
MishhuSage Think that could be cool....
Sham Or, thought about having infinite mayo?
Wes Honeypots: A race of humanoids with glowing indigo skin that resembles a silicone oven mitt and are covered in sticky corn-syrup like substance used to catch the bugs they eat. Thick, greasy hair-like tubes on their head is the source of the syrup.
Wes I think Osaka would like those
MishhuSage You are oddly fixated on the mayo aliens sham...
Sham Im not
Sham Just
Sham so ridiculous
MishhuSage Do you wanna make a mayoman?
Sham No
MishhuSage Uh huh
Sham I want to hold down, and see what happens in the submission thread
Wes Mayoman: *Slides over next to you, leaving a greasy trail on the park bench.*
Sham lol
MishhuSage Lol
Itkatsu "Would you like me to be the mayonaise in your sandwich~"
`Osaka That transformation from smooth sleek shape (used to bombard a planet) then opening up into something different.
Sham Mayoman - The Hero of Sandwich's
Sham Excpet
Sham Except* if you don't like mayo
MishhuSage The Mayo men, and their mortal enemies, the Mustard people?
Wes Alien mayo not to be confused with man-batter.
Wes Mustardians could be cool.
Sham I think making races based on food is a bad idea :I
Sham Like, for seriousness
Wes Mustard could be their natural defense. If they are threatened they get strong like mustard gas.
MishhuSage Two bitter tribes locked in combat over mount Burger, and the patty shrine atop it.
Sham lol
MishhuSage I can see it now...
MishhuSage Mustard General: "All troops fall back! Countermeasure squad!"
demibear Lol
MishhuSage Mustard countermeasure squad: *lumbers up, turns, and expels noxious mustard gas from their backsides*
Itkatsu This is all the result of Nepleslian genetic engineering, I can tell
Itkatsu Races that fight to the death leaving nothing but a trail of delicious corpses
MishhuSage Lol
MishhuSage Hahaha
MishhuSage God im nervous as hell right now, and this is kinda helping me out...
Sham Well
AbwehranWork :3
Sham If you have mustard people
Sham you should have ketchup people
Sham And they
Sham Can be best friends
Sham Forever
MishhuSage They would be torn between the mustard and mayo people
Sham No one likes Mayo people
MishhuSage I like the mayo people ._.
Click to expand...
 
Code: 
Jimmy Ever watch Das Boot? 
Doshii_Jun Have not, actually. 
* Jimmy blinks. 
Jimmy Son, I am disappoint. 
GunnyPhone Dad Boot!
 
You'll hear from us in the mail... said:
[22] Ira Luca
[22] Ira Do you think Nepleslia has a Hamburger corporation called Mac Donna's?
[22] Luca I think that's too lawyer unfriendly
[22] |<-- Ira has left irc.sorcery.net (Quit: Page closed)
[22] Luca we don't want to piss off-
[22] Luca oh god they got him
Click to expand...
 
AAAAAAAAAAAAH NO said:
16:17 Fred IPG-Thrall: "What is you bidding, Mistress?"
16:17 Fred Melisson: "Yes, I'd like you to redistribute our assets to start mass-production of bread factories. We'll pursue an aggressive agenda of PEace through Baked Goods!"
16:17 CadetNewb XD
16:17 Fred Melisson: "We'll be popular. We'll be famous. We'll be celebreties, and the darlings of everyone!"
16:17 Aendri And have lots of good, fresh bread.
16:18 Aendri That can never be overvalued.
16:18 Aendri ...Well, maybe it can. But still.
16:18 Fred Melisson: "Except Gartagens. I hear they don't like pastries. *dramatic sigh* We'll just have to invade them, I guess."
16:18 Doshii_Jun Yuumi: *... deadpans*
16:18 Ira <Garts> BRING IT!
16:19 Fred Melisson: "I... guess that works. After all, no one can live only eating grain. I guess they need some meat in thier diet too."
16:19 Ira On another note, I kind of wish the NMX had more character
16:19 AbwehranKaiser <Abwehrans> ......NEUTRAL *fortifies anyway*
16:19 Ira I mean I dig the moustache(Or in Melisson's case....pubic hair) twirling bad guy
16:20 AbwehranKaiser .....
16:20 Fred Melisson: "So we'll have the combined forces of Yamatai, Nepleslia, the Freespacers, the Abwehrans and the Lorath siege on the Gartagen, develop our meat processing plants, and then engineer my master plan of Gartagen meatspread to accompany our pastries!"
16:20 AbwehranKaiser twirling pubes sounds like it'd be uncomfortable
16:20 Fred Melisson: "It'll be brilliant!"
16:20 Ira Ironically
16:20 Ira that is kind of an intelligent plan
16:20 Ira garts breed like roaches
16:21 Fred Melisson: "Yeah, we only process bits of them, not all of them. Never a good idea to render a race extinct. Then what are you supposed to eat?"
16:21 CadetNewb What have I done?
16:21 AbwehranKaiser lmao
16:21 Fred Melisson: "Instead, you need to promote love, which will indirectly promote procreation, and thus increase how much meat we'll have access to."
16:22 Fian Kid: Mommy why is this meat blue
Click to expand...
 
Edited out everything but the reactions and the glorious puns.

[color=#FF00FF:1w8eg9ao]The Pungeon Master[/color] said:
<KampfMYSTERY> JIMMY
<Jimmy> Hmm?
* Homeside throws dented fire extinguisher at KampfMYSTERY, "SHUT UP AND DIE!"
<Jimmy> WHAT
<KampfMYSTERY> You know why the USSR was so slow to recover after WWII?
<KampfMYSTERY> Because it kept Stalin around.
<Homeside> . . . . we're gonna regret this.
<Homeside> . . . . yep.
<Homeside> Know it.
<Homeside> Jimmy, how would you feel about a SARP bank robbery plot?
<KampfMYSTERY> Of an unrelated incident, all the toilets were stolen from the local Police Station.
<KampfMYSTERY> An investigation is underway, but the police say that they have nothing to go on.
<KampfMYSTERY> BWAHAHAHAHA
<Jimmy> ...
* Jimmy is now known as Jimsaw
<Homeside> Jimmy?
<Homeside> Are we gonna play a game?
<KampfMYSTERY> So I knew a guy who survived a mustard gas attack and pepper spray. He's now a seasoned veteran.
<Jimsaw> KampfMYSTERY, I boobytrapped this entire room with urinals.
<Homeside> . . . .?
<Homeside> How is that a trap?
<KampfMYSTERY> His name is William, and when he was in the army he always hated the phrase "Fire at Will"
<Homeside> . . . .
<Homeside> Why, Kampfer? Why?
<Jimsaw> The only way to escape is to pick up this bullpup, and fire it at this picture of this AK47.
<KampfMYSTERY> One of his friends lost his left side of the body during the war. Thankfully he's all right now.
<KampfMYSTERY> One of his other friends really wanted to get a land mine, but it costs an arm and a leg.
<Jimsaw> And the bullpup is over-covered in tactical equipment.
<Jimsaw> What are you going to do?
<KampfMYSTERY> ...
* Jimsaw starts humming the Saw theme.
<KampfMYSTERY> Jimsaw
<KampfMYSTERY> Why can't you hear pterodactyls use the urinals?
<KampfMYSTERY> Because the P is silent.
<KampfMYSTERY> Hey Homeside.
<KampfMYSTERY> What do you call a belt made of cardboard?
<Homeside> No.
<KampfMYSTERY> A waist of paper.
<Homeside> . . .
<Homeside> Blindy.
<Homeside> Ear him.
<Homeside> Eat*
<Homeside> Please.
<KampfMYSTERY> You know, if you shoot someone in the eye, you might not kill him.
<KampfMYSTERY> You might give him GLOCK coma.
<KampfMYSTERY> So I was watching this video of people shooting each other in video games with machine guns. It makes it seem really Uzi.
<KampfMYSTERY> I tell you, They dont build guns like they used too. Too many modern firearms show signs of shotty workmanship.
<KampfMYSTERY> A man pulls a shotgun on Beyonce, but she grabs it out of his hands. When she does this, he complains, "hey, that's mine!"
<KampfMYSTERY> She responds with "If you liked it, you shoulda put a sling on it."
<KampfMYSTERY> So these two canibals are sitting in the forest, eating a clown.
<KampfMYSTERY> One of them looks at the other and says "Hey, does this taste funny to you?"
<KampfMYSTERY> I should write these puns on a piece of paper.
<KampfMYSTERY> Then they'd be really tearable.
<Amaryllis> dohohohoho
* Blind_gardener pushes KampfMYSTERY down and begins eating his limbs one at a time
* Blind_gardener is now known as God
* God smites KampfMYSTERY
* God is now known as Blind_Gardener
<Blind_Gardener> God just smote KampfMYSTERY
* Homeside is now known as God
<KampfMYSTERY> Speaking of religion, I knew a Buddhist who once got his wisdom teeth removed without novacaine. He wanted to transcend dental medication.
* God is now known as God_2
<@Kai> don't feet the trolls, guise.
* God_2 double-smites KampfMYSTERY
* God_2 is now known as Homeside
<Jim_Study> Alright, I'm outta here, then.
<KampfMYSTERY> Speaking of the bible, anyone who wants to build an ark to save two of every animal? I Noah guy.
* Homeside grabs the horribly dented fire extinguisher.
<KampfMYSTERY> Don't hit me with that fire extinguisher.
<KampfMYSTERY> I'll be blazing mad.
* Homeside hits KampfMYSTERY over the head.
<KampfMYSTERY> AUGH STOP, HOMESIDE. IF THEY MADE A BAR GRAPH OF YOU HITTING ME IT'D BE GRAPHIC VIOLENCE.
* Homeside continues to hit KampfMYSTERY
<Homeside> DIE! JUST DIE!
<KampfMYSTERY> STOP, STOP. JUST DONT HIT ME WITH A STRINGED INSTRUMENT. THEY'D GET US FOR VIOLINS IN THE WORKPLACE.
* Homeside grabs a chello.
<KampfMYSTERY> NO NO NO.
* Homeside proceeds to break the chello over KampfMYSTERY's head.
<Homeside> That was good!
<Homeside> You still should die!
<Homeside> But it was good!
* Homeside grabs a nearby cahir.
<Homeside> chair*
<KampfMYSTERY> STOP HITTING ME WITH THE CHELLO. YOU'RE GIVING ME A SOUND BEATING.
<Homeside> . . .
* Homeside beats KampfMYSTERY with a chair.
<KampfMYSTERY> OH DEAR DONT SET THE CHAIR ON FIRE, I DONT WANT TO BE ON THE HOT SEAT
* Homeside lights KampfMYSTERY on fire.
<Homeside> Make a pun now, funny man!
<Homeside> Make a pun /now/!
<KampfMYSTERY> AHGBT THIS IS TURNING INTO A VERY HEATED ARGUMENT
* Homeside grabs a nearby fire axe.
<KampfMYSTERY> NO NO HOMESIDE YOU NEED TO AXE YOURSELF WHY YOU'RE DOING THIS
<Homeside> BECAUSE YOU NEED TO DIE!
* Homeside swings for KampfMYSTERY.
<KampfMYSTERY> DONT DO IT
<Homeside> You know what?
<KampfMYSTERY> YOU MISSED, I CANT HELP BUT THINK YOU'RE NOT VERY AXE-PERIENCED AT THIS
* Homeside sets the axe down.
<Homeside> No.
<Homeside> I refuse.
<Homeside> No
<Homeside> I won't do it.
<Homeside> I won't satisfy you and your punny ways.
<KampfMYSTERY> Denial isn't just a river in Egypt.
<Homeside> Not doing it.
<KampfMYSTERY> Cmon man, discourse is good for us.
<KampfMYSTERY> We can even see Tiger Woods playing on it.
<Homeside> No.
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